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So shocked at the immaturity of these " friends "


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Old 7th September 2017, 2:27 PM   #1
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So shocked at the immaturity of these " friends "

Ah....that felt good, to just delete their numbers on the phone

I wonder, am I over-reacting with this? I stopped going around with one of them, because I never felt comfortable with her - when other people were around, she would address them and not bother to talk to me, she would tell me about a mutual friend who stopped speaking with me yet still contacted her, she would act irritable and fed up in my company, even called me irritating...

Eventually I walked away from her - she would also brag all the time, making out loads of men fancied her and telling me stories about all these men who apparently fancied her - she became really bad when I began to become more successful, she didn't like that

Anyway, while I'm not speaking to her I ran into a mutual acquaintance of ours who seemed ok at first, but then began to ask me to do errands for her, would turn up late, say she couldn't meet when I asked yet then she would suggest a time and want me to drop everything at the last minute

They both seemed like too hard work

One day when I was in the park with the new friend - there are deer there, I'll get to that later - the old friend comes running up, they hardly know each other, just acquaintances

Yet lo and behold they act like long-lost lovers, high fiving, saying how stunning and great each of them look and how wonderful they are, really licking ass - never acted like that with me haha and acted as though I wasn't there
When I speak they smirk and exchange a look - and one of them throws in " I'm always late to meet DLD but she's used to it " and they laugh

One needed to go and my friend insisted on us walking her together to the gate, because she HAD to have more time in her company

Got the feeling they were laughing at me and leaving me out - but even then I decided to give them a chance

Asked one of them if she was free at the weekend - surprise, she said she was busy and didn't suggest another time - the other one, suggested we go for a walk together for old time's sake, she said she would confirm by today and hasn't lol surprise surprise!

Prepare to be amazed now that we are in our forties and both of these ladies call themselves " spiritual healers "

I log on to WhatsApp - they both have an identical profile picture up of three deer in the park we met in, wth -
I had to check and it was the exact same picture...obviously they went to the park together and want me to know all about it

It felt so good to delete their contacts - I am sorry if this sounds a long rant, it seemed malicious to me but has opened my eyes and showed me, I don't need them in my life as I have lovely friends who are not like this

I'm amazed women in their forties would act like this - oh deer ;-)

Is it just me, I want to know...I guess? Confirmation would be nice but anyway I've deleted 'em into cyberspace
Thanks for reading

Love DLD XXX

Last edited by Dear Lady Disdain; 7th September 2017 at 2:30 PM..
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Old 7th September 2017, 2:42 PM   #2
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They certainly sound two-faced. If I don't like someone, I don't bother with them at all. They have something against you. Glad you dumped them. Now block them from your social media so they have no ammo to talk to others about.
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Old 7th September 2017, 3:40 PM   #3
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Aw thank you for responding Preraph :-) so peed off, I have just blocked them and put a photo up on Whatsapp of some deer! Xxx removed it now though as I don't want to stoop to their level, thank you I will do the social media thing too Xx
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Last edited by Dear Lady Disdain; 7th September 2017 at 3:48 PM..
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Old 8th September 2017, 1:14 AM   #4
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100% Agree!!

DLD,

You did the right thing - for sure!! Well done you!!

I think there comes a time when you realise you don't need toxic people in your life - I have hit my time NOW!! (and I am 51 yrs old!).

About 2 months ago I had a kinda light bulb moment and started blocking contacts in my Whatsapp who were toxic to me - people I thought were my friends!!

I now have a list of contacts (not many, I have to say lol) who I consider TRUE friends ...... it is hard to block contacts - I definitely went down the "should I, shouldn't I" thought process when my finger was poised on the "block" button, hehe, but I just took my time, thought about every contact individually and gradually, over the 2 months, completed the list.

And now, when I look down my contact list I can honestly say that I would do anything for these people! They are my true friends!

I feel soooooooo good for doing this .... obviously I also blocked their numbers from text messages and incoming calls as well and deleted them off the contact list on my phone - so, a total block.

I am not on social media - so no problems there - and I am actually kinda pleased with myself that I never went down the social media route .... I hear sooooooooo many stories, also of a "toxic" nature, that occur on FB and the likes - but, each to their own - I understand people are on FB - and other social media - for a variety of reasons, I am sure a lot of them good reasons ...... I just really don't like the amount of narcissism that goes on on a lot of it!!

I have a cousin who is on all social media and constantly posts pouting selfies of herself in various states of undress on all of them ...... I actually feel sorry for her, she will realise one day that all the "likes" she is getting is most likely directed at one thing only ha ha!!

.... I am just quite happy living in the real world with real people!!

Take care DLD xxx
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Old 8th September 2017, 1:55 AM   #5
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Thank you 1966Seahorse, love the name too
Yes, lol, I blocked and unblocked and now thinking of blocking again....but somehow out of curiosity, I want to see what their next move will be, I think that'll give me the ammo I need to block for sure
We discussed going for a long walk this evening last week, she said she would confirm in the week and once again has not bothered, arranging one meeting is always such hard work, involving making adjustments, " reminding " her, me needing to organise, lengthy debates about venue and time, changes of plan at the last minute, just curious to see what she does next and I will block tonight

What is interesting is, my life really blossomed when I wasn't speaking to this friend, my self esteem soared and everything was so much better - so I'm really thankful this latest incident happened, as I was just about to " make friends " with her again

Well done you!!! Congrats! It does feel good to block people and I have done it before, for much of my life I've been a target for Narcissists but I'm a Narcissist magnet no more and I think this is why these people are upping their game

I'll probably block for good tonight - I certainly won't communicate with them again - unbelievably I had told this woman that I was hurt and felt left out because she had ganged up with another friend and let me know all about it..so I couldn't believe it when I saw those pathetic pics!

LOL hahaha thank you for making me laugh as my finger too was hovering above that block button last night.......;-) and thank you for replying to me

I'm so glad things are better for you now that you've had that mass obliteration of toxicity from your life and glad to hear you've only got the kind, nice friends around now

Me too, I prefer to meet with friends in the real world, pick up the phone and make a phone call, meet for coffee, Facebook can just be a Narcissist's paradise, luckily though you can hide people from your feed

Preraph, I took your advice, I have blocked them on social media

I guess another thing is that these friends spout phrases such as " love and light " and " bless you " willy nilly and call themselves spiritual healers - however they have never actually managed to do a proper job which involves any sort of service, they have rich parents who will support them, and in reality they are probably the most self-absorbed people I know - I used to pander to people like this and let them talk down to me, I am now 45 years old so similar age to you Seahorse and the light is switching on - anyone who plays mind games now I do not waste my valuable time on

Edited: Actually I've just blocked, I read my first post again ! It feels good :-) thanks again - I think the mind games made me feel a little mad, hence the blocking and unblocking, but I read my first post and thought, why have I even got these people in my life? She has not confirmed with me but has seen the other girl and made it clear to me, I'll leave her with her bum chum - finger hovering over block and blocking and unblocking but my mind is made up to end these friendships, I have tried being nice

Thank you both! Your advice has been extremely uplifting - XXX much love, DLD :-)

Last edited by Dear Lady Disdain; 8th September 2017 at 2:16 AM..
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Old 9th September 2017, 1:44 AM   #6
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I know what you mean about "blocking .. unblocking .... and blocking again" .... I did go down that route! ...

.... I blocked a few and some days later I would unblock - I guess to see if there was a reaction - then blocking again - but looking back at when I did that, I think that was kind of doing my head in - almost verging on being addictive and it was making me soooooooo unhappy ...

.... so that was when I decided to look at each contact individually and think back about past times with them - how I met them, conversations we had, meeting ups we had ... were things sincere or just BS coming from them ...

.... and I LOVE living in the real world - I remember the days pre mobile phones and all this social media .... we all got on fine .... I sometimes wish we could go back to those days .... so much more meeting up in person and having good face to face conversations without seeing the other person constantly looking down at their phones whilst talking to you!!....

... and don't even get me started on the amount of people that have walked in to me on the pavement as they have been looking down staring at their phones ... gggrrrrrrrrrr .... I HATE that ... and I make sure they know it ha ha ....

.... anyway, keep the "toxics" away lol .... be brave, keep them deleted, they know they have been able to play you ... be their play thing no more!!!!!!!

Finally, I just cannot believe how better life is now .... it is like I am breathing in some kind of fresh oxygen!!

Take care DLD xxx
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Old 9th September 2017, 12:04 PM   #7
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Your goal is to stop caring what they do or what they're thinking. They can probably see you tuning in. Don't give them the satisfaction.
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Old 10th September 2017, 1:20 AM   #8
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Thank you so much both! I so appreciate you replying and your observations about me tuning in...which was just what I began to do and now I'm so happy to say I really have blocked them with no regrets yay

Yesterday one of them sent me a text saying " you around for coffee " - I said I was out and also said in my response that I thought it was a bit odd they both had matching profile pics to which she wrote back
" oh really lol oh deer lol I didn't realise lol "

I then had a brief conversation about the weather and forgot it and didn't ask to meet up again

So what happened then....later that night she sends a video on WhatsApp and this has never happened before, about spiritual healing which these women both say they do and I have never done, I woke up this morning and realised / wondered, she had probably sent it to show me they were again in communication, the other woman logged on when she sent it - she had also attached this really weird horrible aggressive cartoon: " call yourself a spiritual healer? How the f*** can you be when your throat chakra's blocked " - WTH

Why copy me in?

I realised they were indeed playing me just like you said and this morning I blocked and delighted about it

No more of this! And I don't have these people playing games with me anymore, just deleted them at the click of a button!

This is the best thing I could have done for myself - they are blocked and they will stay that way and I hid all their messages and their pictures too! XXX

Last edited by Dear Lady Disdain; 10th September 2017 at 3:54 AM..
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