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Ran into an old acquaintance...


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 4th September 2017, 11:34 PM   #1
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Ran into an old acquaintance...

I used to regularly study at a local coffee shop a couple of months ago, nearly everyday after work. On one particular day, I thought I spotted an old family friend that I hadn't seen in over ten years, but I wasn't sure if that was him. I couldn't quite tell from a distance, and I was sure that his physical attributes would have changed in ten years. A few days later, I thought I saw the same person roaming around the shop. Still, I wasn't certain, so I thought it would be strange to go up and say hello. On yet another day, when I was deeply focused on my work, a guy walked up to me, smiled, and said hello. I looked at him for a second, and realized it was the same person. I smiled back at him and asked him how he's doing. He asked me the same, but I suppose the conversation came to an end when I sort of froze in my spot. I wanted to keep the conversation going, but I didn't know what else to say. Instead, we stood there staring awkwardly at each other for a few seconds before he walked away. I fear that I may have come across as a bit too cold or aloof, but really I was just taken aback when he approached me.

I can't really say that I was ever friends with this guy, but our families are extremely close, and have been for the past couple of decades. I remember talking to him quite a bit when I was a very young child (early elementary school), but as we got older, I stopped seeing him. The last time I saw him was maybe ten years ago when I was a teenager, and we hardly exchanged any words at that time.

To be honest, I don't know much about this guy, but I adore his family. His parents are some of the friendliest people I've known, and his older sister is such a joy to be around. I love getting opportunities to rekindle old friendships/acquaintanceships, and now I'm kicking myself for not having an actual conversation with this guy--especially since he approached me himself. I had every opportunity to talk to him!

I've been hoping to run into him at the coffee shop again, but I haven't seen him since. Should I put in any additional effort into trying to contact him or would I come across as a creep? I do know that he's on facebook (his sister is a friend of mine on fb).

I've known about this guy's existence my entire life, but I never actually knew him as a person. I'm just looking to make a new friend, as I think it would be cool to actually get to know him and what he's been up to. But I also don't want to give off the impression that I'm interested in him as more than a friend, or that I'm trying to make a move, as that's not my intention. Is it possible for me to pursue this friendship or should I just let it go?
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Old 5th September 2017, 4:38 AM   #2
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If you are honestly only interested in striking a friendship with him, I'm afraid your best play is to just keep hoping to run into him again. The time and distance you describe makes it so that if you put too much effort into it, you will come across as being on the hunt. It would be different if you had been closer in the past, but if I were him and you came looking for me, I would think you were trying to get a date.

I would keep at the shop as regular and keep an eye out for him. You can greet him more warmly when you see him again and go from there.

As for being too aloof last time, I wouldn't stress it. Most folks are likely to assume you had something on your mind rather than you don't like them.

Hope this helps, though I'm not sure how it would. Best of luck to ya
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