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Failing at being a good roommate :(


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Old 26th August 2017, 10:22 AM   #1
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Failing at being a good roommate :(

Please advise!

I live in a house with up to 3 other short renters. Think AirBnB, but month to month. So we're all strangers to each other, there's lots of turnover, and we don't really know each other's lives/schedules.

As such, it's hard to get ahold of people to talk about issues. In the past I would go door to door in the house and talk to each person individually, but not everyone was home, etc. For awhile we had each other's email addresses, so I'd email in that event.

But I've gotten tired of trying to hunt down each person - especially during summer, when people are travelling and/or out of the house most of the day - so I've begun leaving notes.

However, I've learned leaving notes is bad and passive aggressive! I don't want to be a bad roommate, and I do want to communicate. Do I have to go back to waiting for our paths to cross, or is there another way to communicate with people who are essentially strangers and not always around?

PS: This post is inspired by a trash issue which has begun to attract rats to our house. I DO NOT do rats. Nope. So I'm aware my aversion to rats may be making me be dramatic. :-/ Please help!
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Old 26th August 2017, 4:42 PM   #2
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Passive aggressive is them gaslighting you to make it YOUR fault that they don't want to clean up after themselves by changing the subject and saying you're rude for leaving notes! Don't fall for that crap! Leave notes, send emails, whatever. See if anyone is on your side and if they are, kick the other out. If you are alone in this it might be time to find another situation, preferably one with a maid.
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Old 27th August 2017, 7:11 AM   #3
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Preraph, I have definitely felt like the crazy fussy one this whole time, and it's driving me nuts. I actually had to email my roommate to wash his dishes after they'd been in the sink for 2 months and were stinking up the kitchen...he did it, but I really think he would have left them there if I'd have continued to wait for him to do the right thing. There was also the time we got snowed in and I was the only one who demanded the landlord shovel us out (it's the law in MA) - they were content to walk through 2 foot deep snow and ice to get in and out of the house.

I am unfortunately stuck in this situation through the end of January but have some leads on other options/places after that. I think I just need to live alone. Or find more domestically-minded roommates!


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Last edited by shoplocal; 27th August 2017 at 7:12 AM.. Reason: spelling
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Old 28th August 2017, 10:08 PM   #4
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Happy update - in addition to my note, I also got a chance to speak with each roommate (the third one has apparently moved out) about the situation. One agreed to be more careful and the other one actually bought trashbags!!! Woohoo! So glad. Looking forward to being rat-free.
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