LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Friendship

Should I let it go? (sorry it's long)


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Like Tree3Likes
  • 1 Post By preraph
  • 1 Post By d0nnivain
  • 1 Post By IndigoNight
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 21st August 2017, 12:31 PM   #1
New Member
 
haiheyhay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 3
Question Should I let it go? (sorry it's long)

There is this three night festival in my city and my friends and I go every year together. My friend group is not that close, we have separated a little.
My best friend (lets call her Mary), and my other best friend (lets call her Kacy) went to summer school together for science in July. And they both told me they were talking and everything was fine.
The year prior at this festival, Kacy left Mary and I on the third night at the festival to hook up with boys. Kacy did not answer our calls or texts and we found her at 2:30 in the morning. Mary was really mad, but I wasn't really. I never really thought about it because I am really accepting (sometimes too accepting) especially to Kacy. Since then they haven't been as good as friends.
This year was it was a mess.
The first night it was us three plus Kacy's friend (lets call her Minnie). All four of us have been friends for 8 years.
We took an Uber to the festival and we were dropped off at a beach close to the festival. We had to walk a little. So I was walking with Mary and Kacy and Minnie were walking beside each other like a meter away from us. Mary and I noticed that they were giggling and whispering to each other. We gave each other the "wtf" look and just kept walking.
Mary and I had to pee so Minnie and Kacy pointed to a washroom (that is apparently always locked) and said that they would wait in the dog park for us. We both knew something was up.
The washroom was locked to we went to the dog park and they WERE GONE. We called and texted them for like 10 minutes. I was furious. Mary was furious. We left early.
The next day Kacy and Minnie apologized. I was uneasy about it but I was still trying to have fun.
The second night, Kacy didn't come with us going to the festival and we were all planning to meet her there with other people. The whole night we tried finding her, and we didn't even get to do anything.

The third night was the cherry on top. Kacy told me she didn't feel like going. She said the second night was not fun. I said okay, and just went
with Mary because Minnie had somewhere to be the next day. So it was just us two.

Mary and I get on our neighbourhood bus. A few stops later we see a group of girls get on the bus. And guess who's in the group? Freaking Kacy. She saw Mary and I and just look petrified. Mary and I were so angry that we left early.

Kacy texted me an apology and I accepted it too fast. I thought about for a couple of days, then I texted her what I really wanted to say. Kacy said she was sorry, and she also blamed Mary about how she left us the first night, and how she lied the third night. Kacy said Mary talked behind her back and "couldn't deal with her". I didn't respond.

I have no idea what to do cause I feel like I still want to be friends with her, but i'm afraid this will happen again. Am I doing whats right?
Should I just never talk to her again? Please help.
haiheyhay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st August 2017, 12:53 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 17,431
Sounds like she got tired of someone in the group and wanted to ditch them. It's probably not about you, but now you are in the middle. I would only be mad they didn't text back to say what was up so you could quit waiting. Other than that, when I used to go out with friends, they often just up and left.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st August 2017, 1:19 PM   #3
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 24,594
When you spend time with them in the future know going in that they will ditch you & be OK with that. Let them come & go around you as they please but don't attempt to hold them to a schedule. They don't want that kind of responsibility.




If you want more accountability then you will need new friends. They're behavior won't change.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd August 2017, 1:13 AM   #4
Established Member
 
IndigoNight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Western US
Posts: 66
You can be friends with someone, and not hang out with them in situations that leave you getting ditched or ignored. When I used to go out with a group of friends we all understood basic common courtesy. If someone wanted to go hang with someone else, or leave, they simply let someone know.

We never had to search for one another, or have our night ruined with worry. If anyone ditched the group, chances were high that they would not be asked to hang out with us again anytime soon. We were ALL out to have a good time, and respected one another enough not to act in such a way that ruined everyone else's evening (looking for us for hours, calling all night, worried, etc.)

If your friend(s) cannot extend you the basic courtesy of telling you "I'm going to hang out with so and so." or "I made other plans." then I suggest finding other people to hang out with. You're not their parent, but you are a friend who cares about their well being. Being ditched, and left wondering if a friend is okay, is not how friends treat one another. JMHO
IndigoNight is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
First time posting, how long is too long [UPDATE: How to stop wanting daily contact] waiting_game Breaks and Breaking Up 68 26th April 2017 9:29 AM
Long distance relationship...how long is too long? becca_69 Long-Distance Relationships 24 23rd February 2014 4:46 AM
Is he worth it? Should I wait? How long is too long? (Very long post) SakuraBreeze Long-Distance Relationships 2 24th October 2013 10:23 AM
Long term long distance relationship ended with dumper rebounding ben123 Breaks and Breaking Up 2 26th July 2013 3:01 PM
New to long long long distance relationships Unistudent Long-Distance Relationships 4 29th November 2009 2:40 PM

 

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:34 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2013 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.