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Nearly 12 months later


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I had this real close friend. We done everything together and was with each other every minute of the day. 12months ago we had a massive argument and since then he won't talk or even acknowledge me.

 

I realise he was a narcissist, I had to buy everything and he never had any money, I didn't mind doing it at the time as I felt so sorry for him. He is a drug addict and alcoholic.

 

Problem is I still really miss this person.

 

We live in the same building. In this building they have bingo on saturday night and bbq on sunday night. I am frightened to go to any events with the fear that he may be there.

 

I don't know if this is making since. I think I had feelings for him that could not be reciprocated. How do I continue to live without him. I am even scared to leave my room incase I bump into him. The not saying anything really kills me.

 

Any ideas? I should be over this by now surely

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I miss his friendship and having someone to talk to.

 

The argument was because I did not stick up for him when a girl who he is still seeing was running him down. Because I didn't stick up for him I lose the friendship but the girl gets him

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I realise he was a narcissist, I had to buy everything and he never had any money, I didn't mind doing it at the time as I felt so sorry for him. He is a drug addict and alcoholic.

 

For what it's worth, I think you did the right thing in pulling back from the situation. The only person that can really help him is himself; nothing you can give him or take from him will ever be enough. You can care about someone who is mired in addiction, and miss the person that they used to be, but being a financial or emotional caregiver to a long term addict is an unhealthy and untenable situation to place yourself in.

 

I'd suggest contacting Al-anon or a similar support group for loved ones and friends of addicts - you will get far more insight into your own feelings.

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One thing you must never waste your time doing is trying to reason with or make sense of any type of addict. Their Number 1 priority is getting high.

 

How do you know he isn't skipping these building functions too? Maybe you could go because he is maybe not going to them for the same reason you aren't.

Also, you could maybe make some new friends at the activities. At least you should be going somewhere and doing something active and social to meet new friends.

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