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double booked


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Old 13th July 2017, 11:00 AM   #1
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double booked

My friends arranged a lunch 2 weeks ago, we never set a time but its usually around 12.30.. I always make an effort to travel to them for lunch during work (takes me 20mins+ by transport to get to them).

A day before the lunch I was booked in an interview at 1pm. I told my friends and apologised that I've got an appointment and that I couldn't make it for lunch unless its at 12.

Friend 1- oh I knew you would flake that's why I had a backup plan. Merge it with Friend 3 if they come to CBD.

Friend 2 was ok with 12.

I told them I was just asked to come in 10mins ago, but said thanks for changing it to eat at 12.

The next day I messaged them and suggested a few places to go that was near my interview, (it was still closer to them and 20mins for me) and Friend 1 said I thought it was cancelled, you can join us at XXX if you'd like.

I was like what? It wasn't cancelled, the plan msgs are just a few rows up and it is poor form that he double booked and just put the blame on me, to which he just responded "lol" "used to you bailing and changing last min" "jk".

I would of joined but where they were eating was even further out and I didn't have enough time.

I was very annoyed and felt disrespected as I felt he just disregarded our plans when something better came along and didn't even apologise and made it seem like it was my fault.

I used to bail only coz my last job was very strict on lunch hours/busy but haven't done so for 2 years... If anyone cancelled or changed times it was him.
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Old 13th July 2017, 11:14 AM   #2
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I don't know why you are expecting them to all change their plans to accommodate yours. And after asking them to do it another time, then you had the audacity to also try to dictate where they met and ate at. I think once you make them reschedule, you go along with whatever else they want to do. In short, I think you are a little too me, me, me expecting them to put YOUR needs ahead of their own. Taking that to the extreme is narcissism where you really believe others should put you ahead of themselves. There's more of them and you're the one a bit further away, so they don't need to change places for one person. If YOU want to organize a lunch, you can organize it, decide the time and place and tell anyone who can come to be there. You shouldn't change someone else's plan they set up.

The fact she said "I knew you'd flake" tells me you do this a lot and no longer have credibility with them and that they don't necessarily believe you anymore when you say you have a legitimate reason because you have a habit of doing this. I think they think you just want to call the shots, and I think they're right. So again, when you want to control things, then you send out the invites and details a couple weeks ahead of time and those who can and want to will come.
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Old 13th July 2017, 11:27 AM   #3
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Hi preraph,

No time or place was scheduled, he usually picks the place even if we were already planning to go somewhere else, changes the plans on the day because we are more flexible, this was simply because he found something better.

As I said, we usually go 12.30. Many times we would go at 12 as well, because He would ask to go earlier on the day coz he was too hungry.

I said I used to flake 2 years ago because I was at a different job that was less flexible (my lunch was strictly at 1pm which they know, so at times when I would "cancel" it's because he would ask on the day to go earlier coz he's hungry) but haven't done so since I left, mind you, he would do the same but just give me crap about every time I do it (I just take it as banter), I just don't bring it up over and over when he does it.
The past 2 years it was always him flaking or forgetting completely.

Also friend 2 (who was the one who asked us to do lunch) didn't know of the other lunch plan, so this was all friends 1 doing on his own..
Friend 2 and myself always head up to friend 1, because we don't care where we eat, we just get together to catch up, friend 1 never makes the effort to meet halfway to either of us so I don't think I am being unreasonable. The place was still relatively close to him and I never get to pick where we go.

Last edited by fairyfloff; 13th July 2017 at 1:08 PM..
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