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Friends reaction to NC


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Old 11th July 2017, 4:32 PM   #1
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Friends reaction to NC

I've had some of my friends react like I'm some kind of ******* for NC my exes. Like they ask if she contacted me and I'm like yes and when they ask me what I responded I just say I didn't and they are like you should be polite and just answer something or they look at me like I'm an *******. Even if like my last ex she ended it and I don't want to keep her in my life as gf or something else.

Anyone else has this? It annoys me and sometimes I feel like I'm the bad guy because of this or I start to doubt myself and answer a text I wouldn't normally answer. I always did the NC thing (or at least not initiate any contact), so it's my natural reaction in situations like this.
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Old 11th July 2017, 4:39 PM   #2
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you do what works for you and nobody else
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Old 11th July 2017, 5:05 PM   #3
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To me, what this means is she is seeking sympathy from them and trying to get to you through them, for whatever attention-seeking reason. So don't give them anything to repeat back to her. Just say "We're broken up and I've moved on."
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Old 11th July 2017, 6:08 PM   #4
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Tell your friends if they are so concerned about your ex, they can talk to her.

Or tell them its none of their business. Which it isnt.
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Old 11th July 2017, 6:10 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by preraph View Post
To me, what this means is she is seeking sympathy from them and trying to get to you through them, for whatever attention-seeking reason. So don't give them anything to repeat back to her. Just say "We're broken up and I've moved on."
Yes you are right, last 2 girls I got involved with are both textbook anxiously attached (learned about this not long ago). So it's hard for them to let me go or something even if the last one ended it herself months ago. I didn't miss her mainly because she made a lot of drama and it made me feel really bad so I probably needed to end it anyway. All of my friends agree she acted like an ******* and I deserve way better than her.
Lately she's been trying to get in touch and she's really good at seeking sympathy indeed.

Probably best not to talk about it with some of my friends I guess.
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Old 11th July 2017, 6:22 PM   #6
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Originally Posted by Whodatdog View Post
Tell your friends if they are so concerned about your ex, they can talk to her.

Or tell them its none of their business. Which it isnt.
Yes you are right. I just don't get why some people think that you should say hey when you meet them or answer a text even though the other person acted in a bad way. For them it's like an unwritten rule because you shared a history with a person.

Last edited by TaylorW; 11th July 2017 at 6:35 PM..
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Old 11th July 2017, 8:37 PM   #7
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Nc

Your friends, of course, will all have opinions on what you should and shouldn't do, and they all think that they are right.

However, they weren't a part of the relationship, they didn't go through what you went through, and they can handle their own relationships how they see fit.

You have the right to handle your ex however you best see fit. If going no contact is what helps you to heal, then do it. Your friends don't need to know if your ex texted you, called, you, stopped by your house, or jumped in front of your moving vehicle in the hopes of getting your attention.

If they're messengers for an ex you are in NC with, then perhaps they should be told not to talk about that ex around you anymore. Let them know it is over and you have moved on.

If they can't respect any of that, then really, are they such good friends after all? You live your life. Do what is right for you. NC is about your healing. It's not about being polite to the ex! Some people just can't understand that.
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Old 12th July 2017, 4:16 AM   #8
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Originally Posted by TaylorW View Post
Yes you are right. I just don't get why some people think that you should say hey when you meet them or answer a text even though the other person acted in a bad way. For them it's like an unwritten rule because you shared a history with a person.
I'd be one of those people. I think that being civil/polite to an ex is a desirable outcome.

However, there are times when it can't be achieved. Such as when the ex is crazy. Or you're hurting so much that you can't bear contact. Basically, be civil or polite if you can. But if you can't, then go NC.
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Old 12th July 2017, 6:03 AM   #9
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To each their own. You have to do what works best for you. I usually weaned myself off -- dating to breaking up to low contact (but polite & not whining / begging) to NC. I always tried to be civil. But if it hurts too much to talk to the other person, especially if you were the dumpee, don't. If you were the dumper, some compassion is usually in order. Your EX is hurting; don't make it worse (unless there was cheating)
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