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Do I bother staying in touch?


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Ok, so i have a mate of about 30 years, i don't see much of him because i have my own family now, and kids but i always make an effort to text him or ring him, even call round if i'm near to his house, he still lives with his mum.

 

The thing is, i know if i don't make any contact with him, ill never hear off him ever again, which is kinda sad, but i'm at the point now where i'm thinking this friendship is far to one sided.

 

Is this me being sensitive and i should just accept this is how some people are, or is he being an A hole and doesn't really like me?

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Yes the friendship could be one-sided OR he could be trying to show you and your family respect by not "bothering you". Some people feel weird about asking their buddy out who has a family. Have you talked to him about it? Not necessarily a mushy talk but just telling him to call you if he ever goes out because some days you just want a break from the family to hangout with old friends.

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Do keep in touch but give yourself permission to lessen the amount of effort you put in.

 

When you speak to him next, express a desire for him to contact you more. Perhaps he things you're too busy with your new family & he doesn't want to bother you. I know I don't reach out too much to old friends with young kids because they are always busy with the kids & I have little interest in the child centered activities that must consume their lives.

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Maybe you're right, i never ask him to do stuff that involves my kids and we have similar interest one of which is retro video gaming, iv even asked him to come up to my house when the kids are out but he always makes an excuse. hmmm ill have a think about it lol.

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One thing is if he still lives with his parents and he's middle aged, he may be depressed. Otherwise, I'm sure it's because you have kids and a family. He would probably welcome some one-on-one time with you where he wasn't around the family. It's kind of awkward trying to visit someone with their family around and usually the kids interrupt and require center stage, which to a visitor may be boring and even annoying. But just ask him out to something you two can do together and I bet he'd be happy about it.

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