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Friendship peeves or I am being uptight


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fairyfloff

I have a friend who 70% of the time flakes! it's annoying as hell and I have reduced inviting them to things, can't completely cut them off as they are a close friend. They used to be late every single time, its gotten a little better but still happens. I just feel its so disrespectful.

 

So sick of repeating the plan details! I wish they just put it in their calendar or just scroll up abit from the chat to see WHERE and TIME we are meeting! Even if I wasn't the one organising the catch up, the same people just always asks me!! I have asked to get their email address to send a calendar invite so they won't forget, but they don't even look at their calendar and still ask me (includes person mentioned above).

 

I also have another friend who is so pushy and needy asking me to go out ALL the time for lunch and to take him to dinner then home when he lives so far and out of the way from me. I've told them I let them know when I am available but they be like: "you're taking me out this day and we are going HERE!" no, I am staying at home thank you.

I have been avoiding this person because they keep talking about sex and asking about mine. I am just over the topic as I feel it is just disrespectful to the person they are seeing.

 

Also friends who never make the effort into meeting.

 

Just having a **** time with some annoying people..

*end of my rant*

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I learned at one of my jobs not to "save" my employers from impending disaster. That they would never take care of an issue unless they crashed and burned first.

 

I would apply the same thing to your disorganized friend. Let her blow through something she really wanted to do. Don't respond to her asking you about it or anything. Force her to do it herself. Tell her you don't know if she corners you. Oh, I can't remember. If she's late and holding you up from doing something, leave after she's 15 minutes late, with no notice. Just leave. Tell her something else came up and since it looked like she had forgotten about it, you did something else. Stop coddling her. She's not your child.

 

This other person who relies on you for transportation and then is hinting about sex or whatever, why not just cut him off and block him? To me it sounds like he's got no transportation and is trying to MAKE someone not let this be his problem and making it theirs. And then he's no fun to be around. So why even consider keeping this guy?

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fairyfloff

Thanks preraph, they do have a car themselves, I am very close to the city so I wouldn't mind taking train after work (which I do). Sometimes they will drop me off because I am on the way, I would never ask someone to go so out of the way to take me anywhere!

 

Will just ignore the messages from the disorganised friend next time! So passive aggressive :laugh:, wouldn't it make things more awkward next time I see them?

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fairyfloff

its awkward waiting around, but if I leave them it will be awkward everytime I see them, kind of feel like we are fighting.

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mrs rubble
its awkward waiting around, but if I leave them it will be awkward everytime I see them, kind of feel like we are fighting.

Pre warn them then, say "we are leaving at 7pm and if you aren't there by 7.05 we will be leaving without you" then it's on them.

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its awkward waiting around, but if I leave them it will be awkward everytime I see them, kind of feel like we are fighting.

 

You're allowing yourself to be a doormat. People don't respect you if you don't stand up for yourself, plus you end up attracting people who no one else will put up with.

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  • 3 weeks later...
InvisiBlonde
its awkward waiting around, but if I leave them it will be awkward everytime I see them, kind of feel like we are fighting.

 

 

They don't feel awkward; why should you?

 

Seriously: What if you conducted your business exactly the way they "conduct" theirs?

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