rubia73 Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 I've lived with my roommate for almost 2 years, he's a childhood friend, he lives in a finished basement in my house. My fiance and my roommate are good friends. However, we are getting married in November and we don't think that having a roommate is the best idea. I know the time is coming where I need to give my roommate notice about the future, maybe he even assumes it is coming. A lot of my friends have suggested he probably knows he can't live with us forever, lol. But what is the best way to bring it up? I'm not going to just kick him out on the street obviously... and I want to give him ample time to find new living arrangements. Should I set a date but ask his opinion... "After me and my fiance get married, we want to live alone...so can we figure out a move out day together? I can help you look for places, as my mom is a realtor!" Or should I set a hard date, and tell him, by November 1, you should move out this gives you 6 months to look for a place. Just looking for any advice on how to approach this, if anyone has had any similar situations! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 10, 2017 Share Posted May 10, 2017 Sit your roommate down over a beer or cup of coffee & ask what his future plan are. Tell him you'd prefer he be out by September 1 & you'd be happy to help him pack or move, whatever he needs but you want to give your FI time to gradually move her stuff in before the wedding so you to have everything settled before the Big Day & can just come home from the HM without having to worry about her moving & unpacking. (FWIW my then FI, now husband, moved in between July & our wedding in October. It was so nice to just come home -- to our home -- together after all the wedding stress was over) Be gracious. I'm sure this roommate must have some clue this is coming. If you get a bad reaction, your only choice will be file eviction papers. That usually requires 30 days notice, depending on where you live & it will end your friendship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I've lived with my roommate for almost 2 years, he's a childhood friend, he lives in a finished basement in my house. My fiance and my roommate are good friends. However, we are getting married in November and we don't think that having a roommate is the best idea. I know the time is coming where I need to give my roommate notice about the future, maybe he even assumes it is coming. A lot of my friends have suggested he probably knows he can't live with us forever, lol. But what is the best way to bring it up? I'm not going to just kick him out on the street obviously... and I want to give him ample time to find new living arrangements. Should I set a date but ask his opinion... "After me and my fiance get married, we want to live alone...so can we figure out a move out day together? I can help you look for places, as my mom is a realtor!" Or should I set a hard date, and tell him, by November 1, you should move out this gives you 6 months to look for a place. Just looking for any advice on how to approach this, if anyone has had any similar situations! You be honest - That you two are getting married and it's time for him to find another place. I'm sure he isn't stupid and will see it coming anyway. Tell him by the end of the summer would be ideal. You're getting married in November, he needs to move out before not the month of your wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 Should I set a date but ask his opinion... No, just give him a date that he should move out by. I would suggest you tell him he needs to vacate by the end of July or August. Whether or not he pays rent or has a written lease with you, he very likely has tenant's rights, making you his landlord. So that means you legally can not just change the locks and put all his stuff outside if he chooses not to leave. What it typically entails is giving a written 30-day notice to vacate, and then if he doesn't move out, you have to take him to court to get an eviction against him. Look into what your city/state requires you to do to get a tenant out. It varies from place to place. So what I would do is tell him now that you'd like him to be out by August 31st "so that you can prepare for your fiance to move in." On July 31st, give him a written notice to vacate - "As we discussed before, you agreed to be out by August 31st, so I'm just making sure those plans are still in place. How is the apartment hunting going? Do you need any help?" You should be able to make it sound like a friendly correspondence while still doing what you need to do legally to cover your ass. I know you're probably thinking to yourself, "My friend would never screw me over" and I hope you're right. But moving sucks and if people like where they live, like he presumably does, it can take a lot to get them to move on. Or sometimes people have nowhere else to go and are willing to burn bridges with friends rather than end up homeless. It can get very hairy if he doesn't want to or can't cooperate, so I'd be sure this is all taken care of way before your wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted May 11, 2017 Share Posted May 11, 2017 I guess, I have to ask, why does he have to go if he lives in a separate suite in your house anyway? Do you really need the extra space? That could be a nice bit of bonus income for you and your partner starting out? Also what does the lease say about how much notice you have to give? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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