Friends or More??

[krysnicole]

I need some advice on a guy I have been chasing for 2 years.

He talks to me like we are friends and when I see him hes always the first to talk or say hi, but when I ask him out he says something about seeing what his buddies are doing and that whatever i am doing they will probably show up there at some point and time.... Well he never shows up!

 

But when I show up at a place he happens to be he says hey on his way out and moves his hand across my back as hes passing me and if I say something to start a conversation he stops and talks to me until the conversation is over... I am so confused on if he wants to be friends or more then friends or is not intersted at all?? Please Help!

[bluechocolate]

2 years!!

 

If he was at all interested he'd show up. If he was at all interested he'd stick around rather than leave. Most importantly, if he was at all interested you would know after 2 years.

 

Move on - it's not gonna happen.

[Tony T]

There is no need for confusion. From what you've written, he's clearly not interested in you more than just a buddy. You've wasted a lot of time waiting for him to come around.

 

You have two choices. Confront him and ask him if there is a possiblity of the two of you dating...and then move on. Or just move on and skip the first step.

 

He sounds like he would make a decent friend. But it's pretty useless to put yourself through torture hanging around a guy you want more from.

[krysnicole]

Ok he may not be interested but everytime I see him around hes always the first to wave or say hi.... but I am assuming hes being nice? He asked me out once last year but I couldn't go because I had been drinking and I wasn't going to drive to meet him 30 min away from one bar to another... Was that my one chance and now hes like well forget it??

[moimeme]

Ok he may not be interested but everytime I see him around hes always the first to wave or say hi.... but I am assuming hes being nice?

 

I wouldn't base my life's dreams on the fact that he says 'hi' first - after two years!

 

But when I show up at a place he happens to be he says hey on his way out

 

when I ask him out he says something about seeing what his buddies are doing and that whatever i am doing they will probably show up there at some point and time.... Well he never shows up!

 

He doesn't seem willing to spend time with you other than to converse in passing. If he were interested at all, he would make an effort to see you or at least not rebuff your efforts to see him. From what you describe, you're not even really friends. Definitely give up on this one.

[Tony T]

We could go back and forth with your situation for pages on this forum. This just isn't a good situation for you. This guy asked you out once...he may have had nothing to do...he may have been bored...he may have really wanted to get to know you.

 

When he asked you out some time ago, you had been drinking and you probably responded in a way that discouraged him. Too much time may have passed but, as I suggested above, take the step to talk to him and ask him if he would be iterested in dating or at least going out a few times. If not, move on. It's just as simple as that. We don't know the guy. Maybe he's after somebody else now. Guys are far more interested when there is newness, as a general rule, and not as apt to ambitiously pursue after they've known somebody a while and consider them a friend.

 

Talk to him, resolve this thing, and move on. There are just way way too many guys out there who you could be very attracted to and who would love to be with you to obsess over this nice buddy of yours. You are wasting a lot of precious time.