Roommates say I'm a piece of **** -- Feeling down

[baralia4]

For over a year, I lived in a rented house with 4 other guys. At first, things seemed great, and we quickly bonded over not one, but several different things. But over time, things about them started to seem ... off. And soon, so much added up that I couldn't take it anymore.

 

The first odd thing I noticed was that they never left the house. Except to grab food or go to work, they never went anywhere. They just stayed home all the time as if the outer world didn't exist. They never even talked about going anywhere.

 

Then I noticed that they smoked an abnormal amount of weed. I know that people misuse the word "literally" a lot, but I assure you this is no way for me to overstate this: They got high every single day. No exceptions. They just stayed home and got high every night. It got to a point where I was afraid what would happen to them if they didn't have weed.

 

Every now and then, I'd have a talk with them about serious matters to kinda get a feel for where they were in terms of ... well ... adulthood. I asked them how were they saving money. They weren't. None of them. And all of them were content to work part-time jobs. One of them was barely--I mean barely making it, surviving on small rations of oatmeal and weed somehow.

 

I remember at one point being so sad for him that I just wanted to buy him things. I tried to help him get a job, but he didn't want to give up his free time. Which he honestly spent accomplishing nothing from what I've seen. He later told me in a 1-on-1 chat that he wasn't happy about where he was anymore.

 

The next thing that raised an alarm for me was that we were all past our mid-20s. And they all had young girlfriends, the oldest being 19, the youngest 16. The one dating the 16 year old actually had a child of his own, of 6 yrs. In the entire time I knew him, I saw him with his daughter 1 time, a single time. But I saw him high every day that I saw him. And here he was dating a girl 10 years younger than him.

 

Side note: Read this only if you can believe it: The roomie dating the 16 year old ending up having his relationship hit the rocks. I overheard all the guys having a conversation about in the next room. The young girl had suggested that maybe my roommate should act more mature, more his age. I couldn't believe it. His response? "If you don't love me how I am then maybe we shouldn't be together" ... and so off she went to college ...

 

The penultimate thing that raised an alarm was my last roommate. He was the only social one. And he'd have parties. Not just any parties. Throwing darts at the wall, putting tiny holes in the wall, literally 40 people spending the night all over the place to where you couldn't walk, people lighting fireworks in the house (they recorded videos of it), jumping off the walls, till the beams in the wall broke. Leaving trash piled into the kitchen so high, you couldn't even see the table anymore. This was how they had fun.

 

The final thing that made me realize it was time to go was them doing crack cocaine. That actually upset me. This guy had time to crack but could barely see his own daughter? I saw him more than his daughter did, I can guarantee you that. Worst of all is that they all work with children as coaches. All of them. (This is how they come into frequent contact with young girls that become their girlfriends).

 

I could only think: Here we are, living paycheck to paycheck, barely -- tearing up the only place we have to stay, and can only afford to live here because the 5 room was built (illegally).

 

There wasn't much to say. But I did tell them that I was leaving about a month ahead of time. I was out of work at the time, so I went to go find it elsewhere (far away from them) but I intended to have the rent paid on time.

 

Unfortunately, I missed the rent timing by a bit. And when the landlord asked me why I left so suddenly (even though my name wasn't on the lease, cuz only 4 names could be on it), I didn't go into detail, but I told him that I couldn't deal with those guys any more.

 

The landlord must have relayed the message. And of course they were pissed. Saying I disappeared without saying anything. I honestly didn't think they'd care. They had ignored me most of the year because I wasn't all that "cool". I spent most of my time shut in my room depressed that I'd even met them. Furthermore, I gave them as much notice as I could. I couldn't take it anymore. I want a life I can be proud of.

 

Nevertheless, they said all the **** you's and called me a piece of ****. It made me feel down because, as I said in the beginning, we did have some things in common, and I wanted the best for those guys. But there's no sane person who would live like that.

 

I just wish we could be friends without having to hate one another over this.

[major_merrick]

You were right to move out. You don't want to be living in the same place as people doing illegal things, because if the cops bust the house then you go to jail for something you didn't do.

 

Move on, cut off contact, get better friends, never look back. They were never really your friends anyway, and you deserve much better.

 

As for the "piece of ****" comment, all I would said is this: "It takes one to know one."

[baralia4]

Thanks for the kind words, Major. It means a lot. I don't hate them, and of course it's going to be kinda weird if I ever run into what few mutual friends we had.

[Purepony]

Yeah that sounds like trouble

Glad you made the move !!

[Miss Clavel]

there is an old saying around here whenever someone criticizes you: consider the source.

 

and that's what you should do. consider that some dope smokin shut-ins think you're not all that. big woop.

 

glad you got out of there. can't imagine what's going to happen when the parents of some of those minors show up looking for their daughters.

[preraph]

Weed is one thing. Crack - no good can come of it. It will simply be a degenerating situation.

 

Leave these guys to reach their rock bottom and you sit down with yourself and set some boundaries people have stay within before you can be friends with them.

[anduina]

It sounds like you grew up and they didn't. Don't feel bad, feel sad for them since they're headed in the wrong direction.

[baralia4]

there is an old saying around here whenever someone criticizes you: consider the source.

 

and that's what you should do. consider that some dope smokin shut-ins think you're not all that. big woop.

 

Miss Clavel that's actually what I wrote down in my journal before I left! I was wrote to myself: if I stay here what will I gain? The friendship of people who spend 100% of their time inebriated on drugs. That can't do anything for me at all. If I leave, I gain the opportunity to start networking and making connections with people who care to go somewhere and make their communities better places to live.

[baralia4]

Anduina, I do feel very sad for them. The thing that breaks my heart the most is that they'll talk **** about me, and to get them upset all I have to do is tell the truth, and describe their lifestyle.

 

Prepaph - You're right. I've done some serious thinking since this incident, as I've never met anyone who did this many drugs this much. If I ever allow this in my life again, it could jeopardize everything I've worked for. I am not taking this experience lightly.