Jump to content

Am I just a second though?


sickoflove11

Recommended Posts

sickoflove11

I have a friend who used to be my best friend but then we had a falling out. Long story short, she didn't like an answer I gave her after she asked me a question. I personally don't think it was that bad, but it was a question that shouldn't have been asked if she didn't want to hear the truth.

 

Anyways, we have been friends again for a year or 2 now but live in different states. We have seen each other a couple times a year and I just visited her in her state without visiting any of my other friends. It seems every time she comes to visit my state, she is always coming to visit other friends. She lets me know she is coming so that maybe we can meet up. She never comes here to visit me specifically. Her and I have been friends for much longer but I am not dumb, I know the saying, quality over quantity. I guess the quality of our friendship has diminished.

She is currently visiting these friends and told me last minute of their plans, and I cannot make it down there in that short of time. Is is rude of me to tell her that maybe sometime she could come visit me first before them? Or is it clear I am just second priority and not a priority enough to make time for? Should I give up on this friendship? She is the closest friend I have and I don't have many where I live now, so ending the friendship with her will honestly feel like a break up to my heart.

Link to post
Share on other sites

well in your own way, you admitted you were rude to her the first time.....so either change your tactic or keep on practicing being rude.

 

this "telling it like it is" can backfire....maybe because TRUE FRIENDS use tact and regard before engaging harm?

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
sickoflove11

I did not admit to being rude. I don't believe I was rude at all. She asked me a question and I was honest and told her the truth. I have never been rude towards her. She has been my best friend for 6 years. TRUE FRIENDS would tell the truth. Or maybe you and I have different views on what a true friend is.

Link to post
Share on other sites
todreaminblue
I did not admit to being rude. I don't believe I was rude at all. She asked me a question and I was honest and told her the truth. I have never been rude towards her. She has been my best friend for 6 years. TRUE FRIENDS would tell the truth. Or maybe you and I have different views on what a true friend is.

 

yes true friends tell the truth but true friends know how to tell the truth ...there's a way of delivering truth......its like salt to a wound....you dont drown a wound in salt...you dress it carefully and with understanding of how wounds heal on different peoples are completely unique.........when you tell truth ...its to benefit the person you are telling it too...if it damages a friendship or makes a person feel less than what they are....you shouldnt have been honest the way you were honest..you can be straight up and truthful...but you must...and i repeat this...deliver most truths with compassion and gentleness...and if need be...forgiveness in your heart when you deliver it....and this is on going work in progress for me ...i love truth....but more than that...i love my friends....

 

 

truth should be said with a soft calm voice..no personal gain for the personn who speaks it.......and really thinking of the person you are talking to...before yourself..because that is who the truth is for...not for teller to feel all superior and all knowing.........that to me ...is a true friend....not just a friend who tells the truth...but a friend who knows you well enough on how to break that truth to you..........deb

Edited by todreaminblue
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
sickoflove11

Ok thank you guys for your input about the truth but this post was not about my past issue with my friend. It is about the current issue of her always coming to my state to visit another friend and never for me. I will try to repost this again without any history of our friendship.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
whichwayisup
Ok thank you guys for your input about the truth but this post was not about my past issue with my friend. It is about the current issue of her always coming to my state to visit another friend and never for me. I will try to repost this again without any history of our friendship.

 

But maybe it is about the past, on her end. My answer is the same as the previous answer. She may be closer and talks to the other friends more than she does with you. Only she knows for sure but if it bothers you so much either ask her or just make solid plans with her next visit.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
I did not admit to being rude. I don't believe I was rude at all. She asked me a question and I was honest and told her the truth. I have never been rude towards her. She has been my best friend for 6 years. TRUE FRIENDS would tell the truth. Or maybe you and I have different views on what a true friend is.

 

Correct. As friends to others we have different values and behavior. Tact and discreetness seem high on the list. There is a saying...Those who do not learn from their past are doomed to repeat it. Maybe your friend is repeating an old behavior because it ( in her mind) protects her ...

I'm sure you miss that friendship and wish to improve upon any misunderstandings.

Send her a card or a brief note letting her know she is. Welcomed in your life. Re assurance can rebuild the bridge.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...