Conversation starters?

[emerald86]

This might sound silly, but I tend to have a hard time with starting conversations in certain situations.

 

I've started to study at a local library everyday after work and on the weekends. A couple of weeks ago, I noticed a guy sitting at a table, reading. When I looked more closely, I thought he looked familiar. I later recognized him as a middle school classmate from years ago.

 

I've seen him at the library everyday since then. Whenever we crossed each other, we made eye contact and smiled, but we never talked. I was sure he at least recognized me.

 

One day, I was at a table, studying as usual. This time however, the guy came up to me and said "hey there, I just wanted to say hello." I was stunned, but I flashed the biggest smile ever, because I was truly so excited that he came up to say hi. In fact, I was so stunned that the only words I could muster up were "hi, it's so good to see you! How have you been?" He responded with "I'm great," paused for a second, and then walked off very quickly.

 

I don't know, but I think he paused because it was my turn to continue the conversation. I truly didn't know what to say, mostly because I was still frozen in my spot. But even now as I think about it, I'm not really sure how I would have continued that conversation.

 

I haven't seen him at the library since then, but I have a feeling I'll run into him again. If I do, I want to go up to him and say something that will enable us to have an actual conversation. What would be a good convo starter for someone who's sitting at a table studying/reading? I can think of some ways to start a conversation, but I'd feel silly saying some of those things to him. I've known him to be a slightly shy person, so somehow I feel the need to tread carefully lol.

Edited March 16, 2017 by emerald86

[basil67]

No, it wasn't your turn to continue. He gave a closed comment and walked away. I don't know if it was deliberate or accidental, but his response shut down further conversation on that day.

 

If he'd said "I'm great - I've gotten into X university studying Y, you would have had conversation. Or "I've been great - I've started X hobby and am really enjoying it" Or "do you remember Alex, Ben and Cath in our class?" you wouldn't have been lost for conversation.

 

Should you want to continue despite his poor conversation skills, I'd suggest you use open ended conversation. As I said previously, just talk ask about what he's been doing lately. But if he can't hold up his end of the conversation, don't set your heart on him.

Edited March 16, 2017 by basil67

[preraph]

He probably had to work up the nerve and wasn't sure you'd be receptive so he bailed when there was a little gap in conversation.

 

Next time you see him (or find him on social media) just ask what he's doing for fun these days or if he's found any good places to go or fun things to do.

[JuneL]

When I looked more closely, I thought he looked familiar. I later recognized him as a middle school classmate from years ago.

 

 

Next time, you can ask if he did indeed go to the same high school, and chat about your common interests, friends and teachers from high school...

[d0nnivain]

It's a cliché but the next time you see him at the library say "Fancy meeting you here again" or "Come here often?" Both are so cheesy they will serve as ice breakers.

 

 

Then talk about more clichés: the weather, your local sports team. Ask if he keeps in touch with anybody else.

[preraph]

There's ways to take it outside the library. Next time you see her there, after pleasantries, say something like, "I think I'm spending too much time at the library. Maybe I should go see (movie name) this weekend. Have you seen it yet?" If she says she has, no harm done. If she says she hasn't but she'd like to, you could say, "Well, let's go together."

[emerald86]

He probably had to work up the nerve and wasn't sure you'd be receptive so he bailed when there was a little gap in conversation.

 

Next time you see him (or find him on social media) just ask what he's doing for fun these days or if he's found any good places to go or fun things to do.

 

I have thought about finding him on social media, but I'm just afraid he might find it strange, considering that what I wrote in my original post is the only interaction we've had in over 10 years. Even back in middle school, we hardly ever talked. We both just recognize each other because of the several classes we had together. If it's not weird, I guess I can add him on social media.

[emerald86]

It's a cliché but the next time you see him at the library say "Fancy meeting you here again" or "Come here often?" Both are so cheesy they will serve as ice breakers.

 

 

Then talk about more clichés: the weather, your local sports team. Ask if he keeps in touch with anybody else.

 

Lol I like the cheesy ice breakers. I wish I had said one of those to continue the convo. Hopefully I'll see him again.

[todreaminblue]

There's ways to take it outside the library. Next time you see her there, after pleasantries, say something like, "I think I'm spending too much time at the library. Maybe I should go see (movie name) this weekend. Have you seen it yet?" If she says she has, no harm done. If she says she hasn't but she'd like to, you could say, "Well, let's go together."

 

 

smilin...your zingin with inspiration pre raph.....good idea...smooth moves.....deb

[d0nnivain]

You can search for him on social media but don't send a friend request. That is odd. Do speak to him again next time you see him. Say anything. The hardest part is that first sentence. After that the other person is usually so grateful they didn't have to initiate that they will be happy to keep talking.