Jesswall Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 I'm having problems in my marriage right now and recently I tried to reach out to this one friend whom I have known for more than 10 years. I was telling her bout things that happened but she dint say much except calm down and advised me against divorce. I dunno whether words were lost in translation during our text messaging but even for days she dint even text me back or "checking" how I'm doing when I was hoping she as a best friend who we had shared so many ups and downs of our life would be there give me some emotional and moral support. A friend I could lend a shoulder to cry on. But it took her couple of weeks to finally texting me and asking how I'm doing. I was upset and disappointed in her that I ended up blocking her from my contact. My marriage is in crumbles and if I had it, instead of posting here I should have posted on another topic berating my marriage woes but I'm too vulnerable and fragile right now that I couldn't even take another stranger bashing and condemning my problems. We started off as a student and teacher and she is a few years older than me. Slowly we became friends and started to bond. I would always listened and giving her advice each time she came crying talking bout how bad her husband treated her. I was also there, listened to her every story bout all the men she dated after her divorce...how she was being cheated on, played on etc etc....even then I gave her endless advice to treat herself better rather than keep picking up the wrong men one after the other. We shared so many times together, through bad and good times.when I had a good times she was the one I would call and invited to share my lodging while I was vacationing, many lunches and dinners, shopping and gifts etc etc.. As much as I hate she's an opportunist (95% each time we eating out I always ended up paying for our food or she would come to my house while I was at my parents and would bluntly asked my mom to cook dinner for her even then she criticized my mom's cooking..or that times while we were out in her car or went over to her house and she would talk on the phone non stop disregard my presence and plus all the many things...selfish, rude things she did as my friend over the years I tend to overlook all that and kept forgiving her over and over. I did all that thinking that we both somehow shared problems in our marriage and she listened to my problems when i needed someone while all my other friends are happily married and moved on. But I just can't take it anymore. I can't be her friend anymore. She never seemed to change. The only thing that has changed was her age. Still as selfish as ever and wasn't really there for me anymore. She would only accommodate me only according to her time and convenience. I understand we both have our own life to run but as far I am or as busy as I was I would reply to her texts or listened to her when I had the chance. People say you need a good friend that you could rely on to give you support when **** happens in your life. But I had a fair share of friends that had given me headaches...a bff who betrayed me, a girlfriend who full of jealousy and can't accept anyone who would be above her...my husband ex wife who was out to squeeze us dry when we barely make out on our own...sigh... people make me tired. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 9, 2017 Share Posted March 9, 2017 How long had it been since you had talked to this friend? Had it been a long time and she may have felt you brushed her aside when you were happily married? Also, people don't want to get drug into divorce proceedings, and smart people know texts may be obtained and that type thing. I was named in a divorce once and she had a PI watching me. I was suspicious (it was my boss at work getting divorced) and mentioned I felt someone was watching me and he told me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jesswall Posted March 16, 2017 Author Share Posted March 16, 2017 I stopped talking to her for 5 years not long after i got married. It wasnt because i had a happy marriage life and totally brush her to the curbside. It was right after i came and visited her and during that duration she had repeatedly upset me with her behaviour. I had to pull of the cord when she came to my mother's house to visit me and being disrespectful by asking my mother to cook her dinner and even commenting how awful was my mom's cooking when she got a free ride. To me, she was totally going overboard when it involved my family and obnoxiously rude when i never done such a thing each time i visited her home. So i totally stopped contacting her till she left a note at my family's home a couple of year ago. Listen to this, she is not even a young 20 year old but a 40 year old woman who have not still matured in many ways. I went back gave her a call wondering how she's been doing after many years not talking and realised she still the same old person who have not changed in many ways even after going through a painful divorce. Sigh...i guess people never change..its just the age Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted March 16, 2017 Share Posted March 16, 2017 Well, it just sounds like she figured the friendship was over because of that five-year hiatus. I'm sorry you don't have a better friend to talk to. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts