freakinglove Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Hey there, I m new here and i ve registered on an unknown site by romanians, my 2nd time on sites like this..... I need a little help here...I'm with this guy for 1 year and a half, i moved from my city to his city like 100miles away from home,even more... excuse my english but its not my native language... i hope you ll understand me.. Since I moved with him i can say that i ve seen how many real friends i have: like none!!! No one not even a call and nothing, like everyone forgot me.. i keep look for them but they don t look back for me.. whatever.,, he s not a very active social guy either... but he has a few friends (guys) that he s in contact with pretty much... Im alone.. the only persons that im talking to is my family and thats kind of it... I feel very lonely lately, i wanna move back home but he s so much worth it, he s the guy that i ve always dreamed about.. so what do u think that i should do ? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 14, 2017 Share Posted January 14, 2017 Well, those aren't very good friends if they stop talking to you just because you moved 100 miles away. What do you think makes them act like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author freakinglove Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Well, those aren't very good friends if they stop talking to you just because you moved 100 miles away. What do you think makes them act like that? Well, i ve quit school 3 years ago... i ve been abroad working cause of my bad financial situation, while i ve been gone, they were keep talking to me sometimes, but just a few and not so often anyway... After i moved back home, everyone was on my head... let's go there,let's do that... I had money, a convertible car,lol, everyone was on me, after i moved with my bf... we were keep talking but not so much and we just broke up (me and my friends) ..-its not like i had a lot but those few that i used to have,they bailed on me, not even a hi on facebook anymore... nothing.. Where am I doing wrong? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 When you have a boyfriend, are you then ignoring your friends or turning down invitations to go out with them? Because real friends won't stop doing things with friends just because there's a man involved. I'm only bringing that up because it's a common scenario that the new bf doesn't like you going out with friends. But sounds like he has always been out of town from them, so not sure what is going on except that they like to do face-to-face things and you're not able to. What would happen if you made a trip to see them and let them know ahead of time so you could all go out together? If you feel they are joined together in ignoring you on social media, maybe you need to pick one and ask them what is going on that you are being ignored. Maybe you said something or someone misunderstood something. I hope they weren't just using you when you had a car and money! Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 (edited) As kids, tweens, teens, and even college aged - socializing is too easy. I mean, you have an endless source of people to choose from cuz of simply being at school and/or parents setting you up for activities. Unfortunately as adults and unless you lean on the workplace for your only venue to socialize (which can be troublesome cuz do you really wanna share/do certain things with people who can affect your job?) - you have to get out and "make" friends. Have you tried going online and seeing what "meet-ups" are in your area? Maybe you can form your own meet-up of people from your country. Have you tried volunteering? Any hobbies (i.e. running, hiking, playing cards)? One place I used to volunteer at had coffee meetings like once a week - it was designed to help people meet people from other Hispanic countries and to improve on their English. Do you go to church? Some religious organizations have activities like classes, volunteering, etc. My nephew's ex was a waste of time. She left her state to live with him and left her family/friends behind. Besides work, all she did was stay home and leaned on my nephew - she was insecure and controlling. Instead of venturing out and making her own "nest" in the area she moved to, she opted to have my nephew move in her cousin and her cousin's bf and kids. Thank God they are divorced - she was an unmotivated, lazy, waste of a person. My nephew left our home country to move where he's been living for years now and "somehow" made friends and has his own social circle - despite us being states/countries apart from immediate family and everyone we know/knew. So, hopefully you can get out there and form some new and exciting friends and adventures!!! Well wishes Edited January 15, 2017 by Gloria25 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freakinglove Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 .. u re so right guys... But my life is very complicated... all i do is broadcasting all day ... don t think about nude stuffs,i don t do that, but im making a decent living i say and the only friends i have are online and no real life at all He has friends in his town, he interract with them but mostly online too, they re seeing each other too, sometimes a few friends (guys) of him re comming over to play ..or whatever... But i always kind'a'of avoid them... Why??? Its a loong long story... don t know where to start from... I was the girlfriend of my actual boyfriend's friend and i broke up with him to be with the guy that i m now... and because of the way we got to be together thats why now im involunteer avoiding his friends,im trying not to give him reasons that i might fall in love with another guy (from his friends) ) maybe my mentality is wrong, i shouldn t think like this... but i feel soo aparted from real world, its like im scared to interract with his friends... im afraid of NEW people ... especially people and friends from his side.. I want my old life and my old friends back.... i don t even know if i should keep call them friends but at least i loved to think that they re friends i liked that life that i had.. now im an introvert or something, don t know what going on with me help'! Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 (edited) .. u re so right guys... But my life is very complicated... all i do is broadcasting all day ... don t think about nude stuffs,i don t do that, but im making a decent living i say and the only friends i have are online and no real life at all He has friends in his town, he interract with them but mostly online too, they re seeing each other too, sometimes a few friends (guys) of him re comming over to play ..or whatever... But i always kind'a'of avoid them... Why??? Its a loong long story... don t know where to start from... I was the girlfriend of my actual boyfriend's friend and i broke up with him to be with the guy that i m now... and because of the way we got to be together thats why now im involunteer avoiding his friends,im trying not to give him reasons that i might fall in love with another guy (from his friends) ) maybe my mentality is wrong, i shouldn t think like this... but i feel soo aparted from real world, its like im scared to interract with his friends... im afraid of NEW people ... especially people and friends from his side.. I want my old life and my old friends back.... i don t even know if i should keep call them friends but at least i loved to think that they re friends i liked that life that i had.. now im an introvert or something, don t know what going on with me help'! But why do "his" friends (especially "male" friends) have to be your friends? IMO, a couple should have some level of separate interests/friends. I mean, some women think dragging their guy to the mall to shop is cool - when that's something I'd reserve for doing with my female friends. Some guys need to do "guy" stuff - like have beers over a game, play sports, etc...same way we girls have "girl" time with our gfs. Separate interests, circles, friends also make you two having something to talk about (i.e. what you did, learned, etc - in absence of each other). I hear you about "new" people, cuz I, myself find it hard to trust people and IMO, most women are gossipy, envious, etc. But, we're not talking about pinky-finger swear to secrethood friendships - we're just talking about people you do superficial stuff with (i.e. hobbies, hiking, etc.). Seeking and developing friendships with people to do those basic things doesn't mean you're gonna risk opening yourself up to judgement, ridicule, etc....And, that's the beauty of you seeking out your friends - like, if you scroll the meet-ups you may find people who have a reading club on certain books. One woman who called my fav podcaster was in a circle of "friends" who just sat around and had coffee and gossipped...she soon bored of being part of a bunch of sad and petty women. My fav podcaster recommended she seek out people who had more positive things going on in their lives (i.e. people who hike, volunteer, etc.) cuz, those people are less likely to waste time sitting around and being petty about other people, cuz they're out there doing positive things for themselves and others. Yes, new is scary...but, are we going to live in a bubble for the rest of our lives? Are you gonna go and move back to where you came from just because it was "familiar" and you didn't have to put any effort into the connections you formed back there? Well, that's your choice. Going back to my nephew's ex? Yep, she ended running back to her mom's house. So she, a grown woman, is still bunking with her mom and now has a child for some guy - instead of being out there and living her own life. Edited January 15, 2017 by Gloria25 Link to post Share on other sites
Author freakinglove Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 I don t wanna be that type of girl,to go back to her mom and have a solitar life instead of having her own life,but next to this guy i don t feel like there is gonna be any future ,we have no friends in common but that shouldn t be a problem but for me it is cause im to scared of new thing,people,etc. I know what i want,at least i have the ambitious to think about making new friends,but im afraid to try ,i m afraid and i ve always been afraid of what people think about me Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 Are your friends maybe disgusted with you because of dating someone's friend? I mean, they are separate sets of friends, but you sort of linked them together as part of the same problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author freakinglove Posted January 15, 2017 Author Share Posted January 15, 2017 Not all of them know that this guy is someone's friend.. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 15, 2017 Share Posted January 15, 2017 I think you must have some idea why your friends are avoiding you. If you had to think of a reason (your old friends), what would it be? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts