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Don't know how to deal with friend


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

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Old 31st December 2016, 11:05 AM   #1
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Don't know how to deal with friend

There was a man at work who I would consider an acquaintance. We would say hello and chat a bit at work but probably not someone I would have considered hanging out with outside work as we don't really have any common interests.
He ended up going to one of my friends at work and getting him to give him my phone #. This did weird me out a little since he didn't just ask for it himself. If he texted me I would have conversations with him. At this time I was in a relationship and he knew that as well so I didn't think he was trying to hit on me or anything like that. I stopped working there and moved away. He started getting angry with me if I did not respond to his text messages immediately, even if I told him I was out with friends or busy. He would either start telling me what a horrible friend I am or say things like "why aren't you responding to me?" "why are you being so slow to respond?". These are instances where I have responded 5 minutes later. I have explained to him several times that if I don't respond immediately then I am busy or don't have my phone on me. I don't always have time to just have conversation all day long, every day. He starts accusing me of acting weird or not being ok if I don't text him everyday. I once went a week without texting him and he started sending me all these messages asking me what is wrong with me.
He will also begin freaking out at me if I just say I am out with friends and not give him names and sexes of the people I am out with. I told him that is not really relevant to him ????? He does not need to know every detail of everything I do !!! He acts like a controlling boyfriend.
I don't know how to deal with this guy aside from just blocking him but I don't like to do that. I am tired of explaining to him that I have a life and can't just talk to him ALL DAY EVERY DAY.
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Old 31st December 2016, 11:17 AM   #2
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He's not a friend.

He's a stalker.


*No direct contact.
*No sending or receiving of messages.
*Block any means he might use to contact you.
*No replies to anything that gets through your blocks.
*No indirect contact through third parties.
*De-friend or delete him from all social media.
*No monitoring of him on social media.
*No 'little birds' feeding you news.
*Tell people that you don't want to know anything about what he is doing or saying.



Take care.
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Old 31st December 2016, 11:36 AM   #3
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I would've noped out of there as soon as I found out the guy got my number without me knowing - that is weird. Also (no offense to your old colleague) but who just gives out coworker's personal phone numbers to people? I would never think of making that assumption.

This guy sounds like a piece of trash, block all contact and carry on with your life I say. And have a good New Year's!
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Old 31st December 2016, 7:07 PM   #4
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Listen, this guy has so many red flags. First is he weazeled himself in via someone else and did so while you were in a relationship too. Now he's bullying and controlling you, and for what? Why are you putting up with this guy? You have no interest in him and he is obsessed with you. So YES, you need to block him, change your number, and if he comes to your door, call the police!

You need to learn to say no EARLY on.
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Old 3rd January 2017, 12:10 PM   #5
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You are all so right. He sent me a text on New Years Eve that said I love you which freaked me right out. I've never even seen this man outside of work. I think that was the last straw for me.
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