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Platonic Friend Keeps Inviting to Hang Out


Friendship Having issues with a friend? Get it off your chest!

Old 15th December 2016, 7:42 PM   #1
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Platonic Friend Keeps Inviting to Hang Out

I'm a guy who has been hanging out with 2 girls since high school. We've been friends for a few years now and our friendship has always been platonic. One friend (friend 1) moved to another town with her new bf and my other friend (friend 2) just started dating her bf a few months ago.

Recently I started grad school and have been incredibly busy with school and work that I have not had time to hang out with friends and family. Friend 2 has been inviting me to hangout on a weekly basis with each time with me having to politely decline on the fact that I've been busy. I was hoping she would be understanding but continued to keep on inviting me throughout the semester. I told her I would be free once the semester was over. So without fail, I got a text a couple of days ago inviting me to hang out.

I agreed to hang out with her and her bf. He's a pretty cool guy and we got along well. I just felt somewhat awkward during the whole time. I felt like the 3rd wheel and felt out of place. It was nice seeing her but just didn't feel comfortable. I was really hoping after this hang out she would give me some space, but I just got a text from her asking to hang out next week.

If friend 1 was still in town, I would feel more comfortable if the 3 of us could hang out but hanging out with each one individually or with their bfs is uncomfortable for me. Our friendship is purely platonic but now that they are both dating, I honestly don't feel comfortable hanging out with them if their bfs are around.

Why would friend 2 be constantly inviting me to hang out if she has a bf. I honestly feel as if she's just being incredibly needy and perhaps just wants to be reassured we are still friends. For the girls on here, what is your take on this and what advice can you give me on how to approach this? I still want to be friends but realistically see our friendship starting to become limited in terms of hanging out. Thanks!
404notfound is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 15th December 2016, 11:39 PM   #2
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I feel this is the exact situation for anyone when a platonic friend starts becoming involved with a BF or a GF. It looks like your friend is trying to ensure that you donít feel left out unaware that you are already feeling awkward about hanging out with her BF. I would suggest that you tell her upfront about how you feel regarding this and then see how you guys can continue to maintain your friendship. Hope this helps!
LastAcorn99 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 16th December 2016, 2:49 PM   #3
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Tell her you feel like the third wheel. It is nice that she is trying to keep the friendship alive, but if it is just awkward for you, it's only hurting the friendship. When I was single, I had some couples I didn't mind hanging out with just the three of us and some I did mind. It is completely normal to feel on the outs, especially if this particular couple does not make an effort to be less coupley,etc. Maybe the next time Friend 2 asks you to hang out, invite another friend or friends of yours to come too to make it more of a group hang out.
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Old 27th December 2016, 4:17 PM   #4
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I hate it when you tell friends you are busy with something and you tell them you'll call them when things ease up so you can hang out; but they don't give you space and keep asking. This happens to me all the time and I wish I knew how to make it stop.
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Old 27th December 2016, 6:46 PM   #5
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I'm honestly not sure why you feel so uncomfortable. Just because she's in a relationship doesn't mean you guys gotta stop being friends.

I could be wrong, but it sounds to me like maybe you have some feelings for her that you didn't realize you had before?

Last edited by ZayKayWill; 27th December 2016 at 6:48 PM..
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