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Do I owe her an explanation?


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Old 9th December 2016, 9:18 PM   #1
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Do I owe her an explanation?

A college friend of mine from New England recently flew down for a business trip to where I now live in Georgia. She happened to be only 20 minutes away from where live so I decided to invite her to a party at my place. We were talking one-on-one off in a corner on the opposite side from where my girlfriend was. My friend took my hat, put it on her own head and then touched my hair while my girlfriend happened to be looking. She recognized it as flirting and got pretty pissed off at my friend. I, for some reason, was oblivious at the time, but now I realize that it was definitely flirting. Long story short, my girlfriend doesn't walk me to talk to this girl anymore and I'm totally okay with that...

My friend texted me a couple of minutes ago asking for my address..she probably wants to send me a Christmas card or something. I don't really know or care...

I love my girlfriend. Should I just not respond? Or should I tell her that she acted inappropriately and that we shouldn't talk anymore? While we're not best friends or anything, we did know each other throughout college and were roommates at one point.

I am thinking that I should just ignore her now and if she contacts me again then I'll tell her the deal?
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Old 9th December 2016, 9:33 PM   #2
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She would have to be really stupid to not be aware that her behaviour would be offensive to your girlfriend.

So where is the need for an explanation?


Take care.
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Old 9th December 2016, 9:39 PM   #3
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She would have to be really stupid to not be aware that her behaviour would be offensive to your girlfriend.

So where is the need for an explanation?


Take care.
It's strange, because even the morning after the party she acted like nothing ever happened.

I deleted her number so I guess if she comes back and asks I will let her know but I won't go out of my way. She's pretty much done.
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Old 9th December 2016, 9:41 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Jame22 View Post
It's strange, because even the morning after the party she acted like nothing ever happened.

I deleted her number so I guess if she comes back and asks I will let her know but I won't go out of my way. She's pretty much done.
Well done.

She knows what she did.


Take care.
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Old 9th December 2016, 11:29 PM   #5
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None of my bf's ever decided who I could have in my circle of friends. They did make observations and formulated some objections....

I respected my relationships . If one behaved inappropriately I addressed it. But I didn't cast them to the curb. Most times a healthy boundary was 're affirmed.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you are doing this no contact to appease your current gal, or is this social friend really a bit to touchy touchy that it crosses your standards ?
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Old 10th December 2016, 12:03 AM   #6
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None of my bf's ever decided who I could have in my circle of friends. They did make observations and formulated some objections....

I respected my relationships . If one behaved inappropriately I addressed it. But I didn't cast them to the curb. Most times a healthy boundary was 're affirmed.

Take a moment and ask yourself if you are doing this no contact to appease your current gal, or is this social friend really a bit to touchy touchy that it crosses your standards ?
I'm really not sure to be honest. I've always felt weird around this friend. I feel like we care about each other to some extent but we've never really meshed or became good friends. So if my girlfriend doesn't want me to talk to her anymore it's not a huge deal. My gut says to drop her.

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Old 12th December 2016, 9:51 AM   #7
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It's always complicated to deal with friends who might be into you and your girlfriend. To me, the best approach would be set everything straight with both of them. Tell your girlfriend how you feel and make her feel secure; and tell your friend that her behavior wasn't appropriate and remind her that you have a girlfriend that you love.
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Old 20th December 2016, 3:22 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jame22 View Post
Long story short, my girlfriend doesn't walk me to talk to this girl anymore and I'm totally okay with that...
In other words:
Quote:
I allow my girlfriend to dictate my life.
Your girlfriend sounds very insecure. The main problem with insecure people, is that they know that they themselves would probably cheat given the opportunity, so they then project their own thoughts and feelings onto you.

I would seriously consider if I would want to stay in a relationship, where my girlfriend thinks she can dictate who I can or can't contact. This would be a red flag for me.
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Old 22nd December 2016, 4:33 PM   #9
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You'll just have to tell her your gf saw her flirting with you and apologize for being oblivious that she was interested that way but that you now have no choice but to stop all contact because you love your girlfriend and tell her to have a happy life.
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Old 23rd December 2016, 5:05 AM   #10
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Originally Posted by Jame22 View Post
I'm really not sure to be honest. I've always felt weird around this friend. I feel like we care about each other to some extent but we've never really meshed or became good friends. So if my girlfriend doesn't want me to talk to her anymore it's not a huge deal. My gut says to drop her.
Some people are just flirty in general. It doesn't mean anything its just silliness.

If this woman is not a real friend then there is no point is worrying about it and I agree that you should follow your gut.
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