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My friend is terribly mistreating her dog


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My friend asked me to housesit for her last week. She and her husband and two toddlers went on vacation for ten days. They have a dog and two cats. I then learn that they keep their dog on a leash in the backyard all day while they go to work, because they've never fixed the fence in the yard and are worried the dog can get out. At night, they have the dog sleep in a crate in the garage. Monday-Friday they have a two hour commute, so they're not home for about ten hours/day. Which means this poor dog is kept on a leash for TEN HOURS every day. They don't leave her in the house because then she can't go to the bathroom, or will just do her business inside. The solution is really simple- just spend the money and fix your backyard so you don't have to keep her on a leash.

I felt terrible leaving her on a leash, and now pretty much can't get this out of my mind. How do people think treating an animal like this is okay? I checked and actually what they are doing is illegal.

 

I've been friends with her for over ten years and was shocked to see this is how she treats her dog. I told her I felt terrible leaving the dog on a leash all day, she just said "yeah we need to fix our fence"...but they've lived in this house for over a year and clearly don't think it's as high a priority as it should be. Would you confront your friend about this? I know she'll be defensive and insulted, but honestly I'm pretty angry at her about it, and feel like someone should speak up for the poor dog.

 

How can people be so thoughtless? Why do people own animals if they can't take care of them?

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Do you value your friendship or the dog more?

 

Does the dog have shade? Is he fed and watered? Do they walk the dog? Is the dog well adjusted and has a good temperament overall? Is the dog stressed by this situation?

 

If you are close friends (10 years? so yeah): The easiest way to "sit on the fence" on this is offer to help fix the fence with them when they return. Source lumber, etc and help them. Find a dog house on craigslist for free too. You can act calm and neutral and not jeopardize the friendship.

 

If you are not that close: You can't really say much without overstepping a boundary IMO.

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She's fed and watered and has minimal access to shade, though this is southern CA and it gets pretty hot in the summer regardless. They say the walk her, but how much attention do you think they give her after a long work day and an hour plus drive home, AND a four year old and two year old child to look after? She's very clearly not well-adjusted and does not get enough attention. Also it's not natural for dogs to learn to poop in the same place they eat- which is what she has to do since she's on a leash all the time. She's not behaved at all and it's not her fault, she's never been trained and is pretty badly neglected. I think it would be better if they let her sleep in the house, at least after being alone outside all day, she could spend some time with the family inside. I guess they think that's too dirty- even though they have not one but two kitty litter boxes in their living room, which to me is the most dirty disgusting thing I've ever seen. I'd throw the cats out and keep the dog inside, but then again I'm a dog person. I don't tie my dog to a leash unless a human is holding the other side of it. My dog is rarely left alone for long periods of time and gets tons of attention.

 

My friend and I are close enough that an issue like this shouldn't destroy an entire friendship. I mean, how many people do you know who would offer to clean up after your 2 cats and a dog for 10 days? I may be on the opposite spectrum in terms of spoiling my dog, but the law is pretty simple, and tying up your dog all alone for ten hours is illegal.

 

I guess I just think it's irresponsible to say you can't afford to fix your backyard and force a dog to live that way, yet you have plenty of money for a vacation. And it's really not that expensive to fix the fence and yard, they easily could do that for much less than what they just spent on the vacation.

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I think you should talk to her. Again. Offer to help get things set up/sorted/action plan. Sure there is someone in the neighbourhood that could come walk the dog every other day for a bit of cash. That way the dig has interaction. I agree with above poster, lookon Craigslistfor a kennel of some sorts.

 

I get your frustration. If you have been friends for 10 years, then surely she can understand your concern? And you could put it to her gently but firmly. Show her that it's illegal and that you're worried.

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I would confront her and if it was not resolved call the police. I'm a dog lover and if I saw this I would call in a heartbeat.

 

She is a selfish scumbag and the dog doesn't deserve this. She also does not deserve your friendship.

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I can't stand to see animals treated like toys in a toy box. Please call your local Animal Services and see if anything can be done. Even before we had a law specifically about how long a dog could be confined, I found our animal services responsive to any abuse. Please just call. You can tell them to keep it anonymous.

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I'll figure something out. She's my friend so I don't want them to get in trouble, even though apparently they're both giant idiots. It's hard to accept that someone you've known so long and respected could be so ignorant, thoughtless, selfish. But yeah, now that I know what that little dog is living like every day, I cannot stop thinking about her :(

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todreaminblue

I feel you need to talk to her, the dog cant speak so you need to.....actually the dog misbehaving is the dog speaking.....any friendship that has lasted ten years should be able to cope with a few home truths carefully worded so as not to offend..........

not only for the dogs benefit...do you need to speak up but for the benefit of your friendship as you have stated it makes you feel differently about her...a little angry i would say..so dont let it fester...as another poster said ...help her fix the fence ...maybe organize a working bee.....

 

animals need us to speak for them.....and you should in this case ...do that....deb

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Oh AND they use a no-bark collar :(

 

Thank you for your replies- I just wanted other opinions to know that I'm not overreacting.

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ChickiePops
Do you value your friendship or the dog more?

 

Does the dog have shade? Is he fed and watered? Do they walk the dog? Is the dog well adjusted and has a good temperament overall? Is the dog stressed by this situation?

 

If you are close friends (10 years? so yeah): The easiest way to "sit on the fence" on this is offer to help fix the fence with them when they return. Source lumber, etc and help them. Find a dog house on craigslist for free too. You can act calm and neutral and not jeopardize the friendship.

 

If you are not that close: You can't really say much without overstepping a boundary IMO.

 

You're kidding right? Is a life more important than not getting into a fight with a friend?

 

Hell no..I don't care if it's a family member or my own child..if I saw someone treating a dog like this not only would I say something, but I'd make sure that something was done about it.

 

I had a roommate that mistreated her cat. I moved out and I took the cat with me. Lost my deposit and never spoke to her again (she didn't bother to ask me about the poor cat).

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I'll figure something out. She's my friend so I don't want them to get in trouble, even though apparently they're both giant idiots. It's hard to accept that someone you've known so long and respected could be so ignorant, thoughtless, selfish. But yeah, now that I know what that little dog is living like every day, I cannot stop thinking about her :(

 

They would just talk to them and tell them to change things.

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You're kidding right? Is a life more important than not getting into a fight with a friend?

 

Hell no..I don't care if it's a family member or my own child..if I saw someone treating a dog like this not only would I say something, but I'd make sure that something was done about it.

 

I had a roommate that mistreated her cat. I moved out and I took the cat with me. Lost my deposit and never spoke to her again (she didn't bother to ask me about the poor cat).

 

Unfortunately no. The world is filled with insensitive, selfish people like this.

 

What I don't get is having a dog is a conscious decision. It's not "oh the rubber broke", you actively put effort into getting one.

 

If you are unable to recognize the commitment (10-15 years) and give them the love that they deserve, then don't get one!!! Simple.

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report them, they are bastards, just report them anonymously, you surely can not like them anymore as friends that much, my cat gets everything, she is my love

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report them, they are bastards, just report them anonymously, you surely can not like them anymore as friends that much, my cat gets everything, she is my love

 

I agree with this 100%. Dogs don't have a voice you have to be the dog voice.

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If you report them then it will be the dog that suffers, most likely end up in a kill shelter and be put down.

Tell her to get her ass in gear and make sure the dog has a shelter a safe place to run around in and no leash.

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So here we have no-kill shelters, but I did worry that they would just take the dog away which isn't great either- who's to say the next owner treats her any better? I'm going to have a talk with my friend.

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ChickiePops
Unfortunately no. The world is filled with insensitive, selfish people like this.

 

What I don't get is having a dog is a conscious decision. It's not "oh the rubber broke", you actively put effort into getting one.

 

If you are unable to recognize the commitment (10-15 years) and give them the love that they deserve, then don't get one!!! Simple.

 

Right, absolutely..and I was responding to you telling her to ignore it for the sake of salvaging her friendship...so..I don't understand what your point was there.

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So here we have no-kill shelters, but I did worry that they would just take the dog away which isn't great either- who's to say the next owner treats her any better? I'm going to have a talk with my friend.

 

Talking with your friend sounds like a good plan. You need to be careful with the no-kill shelters. Some (not all) of them keep the dogs in far worse conditions than your friend is keeping hers.

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So here we have no-kill shelters, but I did worry that they would just take the dog away which isn't great either- who's to say the next owner treats her any better? I'm going to have a talk with my friend.

 

Why do you think they would take the dog away ?

I think animal control if they find a violation would give them a ticket and fine them, but they have to be in violation of the city/county animal control laws.

What laws are being broken ?

 

I personal detest people who chain dogs, I see that a lot in the mountains when we go to our cabin but there isn't anything that can be done in the mountains as that is what they do and how they keep dogs. Ours have always been indoor dogs with outdoor access thru a dog door and get crated at night.

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Check around, there are some volunteer rescue organizations that will foster dogs for free and find them a good home. OR You might see if one of these groups would be wiling to fix her fence for free or at cost. Depending on what's wrong with the fence, they could get it done in a day while they were at work and leave an anonymous note.

 

I almost kidnapped my neighbor's dog. It was left outside for 16 plus hours a day and then put in a kennel in the house for bedtime. This poor dog would bark and then he would just cry and cry. He was horribly lonely. My neighbor has alienated all of us who live around her. I'd try to go over once a day and play a little fetch.

 

So, three of us decided to take the dog to a rescue about six hours and two states away. One of the other persons involved had a cousin who ran a home grown rescue.

 

Only we found out the dog had a microchip. There was too much chance the cousin and rescue would get in trouble.

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Why do you think they would take the dog away ?

I think animal control if they find a violation would give them a ticket and fine them, but they have to be in violation of the city/county animal control laws.

What laws are being broken ?

 

I personal detest people who chain dogs, I see that a lot in the mountains when we go to our cabin but there isn't anything that can be done in the mountains as that is what they do and how they keep dogs. Ours have always been indoor dogs with outdoor access thru a dog door and get crated at night.

 

Laws being broken are in this county it's illegal to chain a dog in your yard alone for more than three hours. They would probably just get a fine and a warning, which i'm sure would be enough to embarrass them and make them do something about the situation. They still haven't fixed their yard. I talked to her about it and she thinks we just don't see eye to eye in terms of how to treat dogs...since I spoil mine.

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Check around, there are some volunteer rescue organizations that will foster dogs for free and find them a good home. OR You might see if one of these groups would be wiling to fix her fence for free or at cost. Depending on what's wrong with the fence, they could get it done in a day while they were at work and leave an anonymous note.

 

I almost kidnapped my neighbor's dog. It was left outside for 16 plus hours a day and then put in a kennel in the house for bedtime. This poor dog would bark and then he would just cry and cry. He was horribly lonely. My neighbor has alienated all of us who live around her. I'd try to go over once a day and play a little fetch.

 

So, three of us decided to take the dog to a rescue about six hours and two states away. One of the other persons involved had a cousin who ran a home grown rescue.

 

Only we found out the dog had a microchip. There was too much chance the cousin and rescue would get in trouble.

 

 

That's a good suggestion, thanks. Their yard is super easy for anyone to get into, their house is on the corner of a major road in the city. All they need to do is just dig out about 3 feet of dirt in the corner, since their concern is that the ground is too high so the dog could jump over the fence. I could probably do it myself on a Saturday...that's what is so frustrating, why her husband won't fix it. As it is I highly doubt the dog could escape, and it's so strange to me that they think the best alternative is to keep her chained up all day. They even could put up a baby gate (I know they have plenty of those lying around since they just had two babies) to keep the dog away from the fence. She's a short little bulldog, she can't jump very high. Ugh it's frustrating. I think about her all the time, just sitting alone in her yard for ten hours every day. I guess when it rains they must keep her in the garage.

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seekingpeaceinlove

I'm a huge dog lover and this posting angers me to no end. I would volunteer to fix the yard and find/build a dog house. If she refuses your help I would find an alternative solution to get that poor baby out of there. No way I would let an animal live in that condition...whether the owner was a friend or not.

 

Your friend shouldn't have a dog. My dog is my family and I would never ever leave her leashed anywhere for more than an hour or 2. And your friend uses a no-bark collar? Ugh..please do something.

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...The solution is really simple- just spend the money and fix your backyard so you don't have to keep her on a leash....

 

....All they need to do is just dig out about 3 feet of dirt in the corner, since their concern is that the ground is too high so the dog could jump over the fence. I could probably do it myself on a Saturday...that's what is so frustrating, why her husband won't fix it. As it is I highly doubt the dog could escape, and it's so strange to me that they think the best alternative is to keep her chained up all day....

 

Unfortunately your friends care so little for the dog that the simple solutions you suggest are not worth it to them. They don't see a problem leashing the dog all day and would most likely continue to leash it even if their fence or high ground were fixed. They'll come up with some other reason the dog needs to be leashed all day.

 

You might have to decide what is more important, the treatment and health of the dog, or your friendship.

 

This might be of some help: Report Animal Abuse

 

The link is to the American Humane Association and the "4 steps to stop abuse." It suggests taking photos of the situation as evidence. At the least, bringing in a few photos of the conditions to your local animal control can give a second opinion on the conditions the dog is left in.

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Check around, there are some volunteer rescue organizations that will foster dogs for free and find them a good home. OR You might see if one of these groups would be wiling to fix her fence for free or at cost. Depending on what's wrong with the fence, they could get it done in a day while they were at work and leave an anonymous note.

 

I almost kidnapped my neighbor's dog. It was left outside for 16 plus hours a day and then put in a kennel in the house for bedtime. This poor dog would bark and then he would just cry and cry. He was horribly lonely. My neighbor has alienated all of us who live around her. I'd try to go over once a day and play a little fetch.

 

So, three of us decided to take the dog to a rescue about six hours and two states away. One of the other persons involved had a cousin who ran a home grown rescue.

 

Only we found out the dog had a microchip. There was too much chance the cousin and rescue would get in trouble.

 

I understand your concern Lady...we have two pups. This said...it sounds harsh, to hatch a plan to kidnap the pup (if he is free in a secure yard) without talking to this neighbor first.

Have you told her that her pup barks and whines all day? How do you know that he is kenneled all night?

 

With the assumption that she is aware that her pup barks/whines and is kenneled all night...maybe some guidance and neighborly advice would be a more productive way to help? Rather than kidnapping, I mean.

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