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Forever Alone :(


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Hi all,

 

I wanted to get your opinion as I am in a confused and sad state right now.

 

I am sitting now alone in my house on a Sunny Sunday afternoon because I have no friends. Literally, no friends :(

 

For a reason I'm not aware of, it seems that I am always putting people off and I am having such a hard time maintaining friendships. I try to be nice to people, show interest, connect with them, but nothing works. These things don't come naturally to me, but I try so hard. I just really don't know what I'm doing wrong :( I tried to make friends at work, join social groups through hobbies, talk to strangers, but nothing evolves into a meaningful friendship. Also, people are never making the effort to speak to me or initiate conversation. If I don't reach out to someone, my phone wouldn't ring for days, if not weeks :(

 

I tried to analyze the situation and get advise from people. Someone from work told me that I give an "aggressive" vibe without being aggressive (?) and I'm not even sure what that means. Another person told me I'm too direct in my communication style. Someone even told me they don't like me because of the way I dress!!! She said I look like I'm trying too hard :-/ although I'm not, I wear clothes that I like, because I can't simply satisfy everybody's taste.

 

Anyways, I'm just feeling so lonely, and I still can't pinpoint why I'm failing at making friends. I would love to have a nice group of friends to hangout with and have some support. Am I deemed to a life of loneliness? I spend every weekend alone because I am never invited to parties or outings.

 

I wonder why this is happening to me? How do people make friends? why am I always alone and friendless?

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coolheadal

I am on my own also but I coupe with it. Not much I can do about it. Where live everyone is married. Ages range 30 and up. All my friends are married or just way to far away. I make do. We'll at least I am 100% healthy don't have any issues right now in my life. Being lonely not the end of it just start of it. Taking advise but those your asking they don't have your best interest at heart. You should be you and wear what you want of course you should look cool though.

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When your life is not working for you, then you need to change it. Waiting for the world to conform to meet your needs isn't going to work. If you've somehow pushed people out of your life, then it's you who needs to make changes, a lot of them. If you are trying to adhere to some ideals or beliefs that are making it impossible to be happy and attract friends, then those ideals and beliefs are not working for you and aren't good ideals or beliefs, and you need to move on.

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I can only imagine how you're feeling, and I just want to tell you not to give up hope! Have you tried attending groups or meetups that meet regularly? This way, you will likely be in constant contact with the same people, and friendships are much more likely to develop this way. Personally, I love to hike and regularly attend a hiking meetup in my area. I made one good friend this way--another member that also attends regularly.

 

This is also something that I tell myself all the time, and I know it's easier said than done. But stop focusing on what you need to change (as long as you're not hurting anybody), and just be yourself! I know, it's not easy--I struggle with this all the time, and I know many others that do. Just realize that some people will want to be friends with you, and others won't. Over the years, I've been accepted by some groups of friends, and felt like I truly belonged there. At the same time, I've been blatantly rejected by other groups of friends--never being invited to their social gatherings, etc. And yet, other times...I've been accepted by people, but felt like I didn't really belong in their group. It happens. Just find what works for you.

 

I can guarantee that many people out there will love your direct communication style. And who cares if some people out there don't like the way you dress?! Just dress the way you want to, because someone out there will be a fan of your style.

 

Bottom line is, you don't have to be friendless if you don't want to be. Put in just a bit more effort in reaching out to people. Invite them out for coffee or lunch. Call or text people and ask them how they are doing. There are people out there that want to be your friend.

Edited by emerald86
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bluefeather

are you a boy or a girl?

age range?

 

you seem intelligent enough from this post. give some more details about yourself like the questions above and maybe more people can chime in with advice.

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I feel you. I don't have any friends that live close by so most weekends I spend alone. Luckily, I have family so spending time with them. Theraphy might help.

There is nothing wrong with you, sometimes life works in mysterious ways. You are not alone though there are tons of people who are lonely :(. To meet potential friends have you tried getting a part-time job as a waitress/bartender or sales person? You might meet people there. Try joining clubs that interest you. What helps me stay positive is doing yoga and hitting the gym 4x a week :) you could try yoga aND I heard soul cycle or crossfit they are very group oriented. There are now apps to make friends might be worth looking into. I live in a small town so I can't do meetup but you can check your area and see. I hope we both find happiness and true friendships :)

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