ChristmasComeEarly Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 My female coworker (I'll call her S) works in the joining office. Usually when I leave for the day, I leave with the girl who sits next to S so I say bye to S on our way out. Today that girl wasn't there and a coworker in my office wanted to leave with me. He usually takes a different door that does not go passed S. We had our coats on and we're just talking to people in my office on the way out when S walked in and asked what was going on, she saw me leaving and I wasn't going to say good bye to her?! She said she saw me leaving so came to say goodbye. Everyone was looking so I went up to her, said sorry, rubbed her arm and wished her a goodnight. She kinda of had a jokey voice but I think I upset her. I wasn't expecting her to be so upset. I feel bad - I didn't realise she was so bothered about me saying not bye. We do chat and have lunch together and I would say we are work friends. Is it normal for people to get upset like this? Now I keep wondering if I really upset her and I really like her so feel upset with myself now that I might have done Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 No, it's not normal to be upset by a co-worker not detouring to say goodbye. You did nothing wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 Nope, sounds like she is being unprofessional. I don't know if you're male or female but sounds like she may have a crush or be overly sensitive as a friend.You may have to pull back from her and not rub her on the arm if you are not interested. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 You did nothing wrong. She sounds like the overly sensitive type where even the smallest slight can really upset her. Oh well, not your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Jabron1 Posted May 15, 2016 Share Posted May 15, 2016 Nope, sounds like she is being unprofessional. I don't know if you're male or female but sounds like she may have a crush or be overly sensitive as a friend.You may have to pull back from her and not rub her on the arm if you are not interested. I was thinking this too. She's way too invested in this goodbye routine... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted May 15, 2016 Share Posted May 15, 2016 (edited) You go to lunch together and are work friends..girls dont act this way when its a casual friendship. I think she caught feelings. If you arent interested try to address that somehow and get it in the open. Maybe you've been casually flirtatious and she took things like rubbing her arm and lunch dates to mean interest. Either way its hurtful if someone pulls back without explanation so see if you can talk. Shes not invested in goodbye routine...she looks forward to it cause she feels you two have a thing...shes invested in you! If you examine your actions and feel you have been flirty...nip that in the bud and be clear on friends...only..ever..and be more professional and polite than warm and friendly and close (rubbing her arm). Edited May 15, 2016 by privategal Link to post Share on other sites
Author ChristmasComeEarly Posted May 15, 2016 Author Share Posted May 15, 2016 Thanks for all your replies and thoughts. I really like her, more than a friend but I didn't think she liked me back like that, so I gave up on it. I had thought for a while that she did like me but then would totally feel rejected by something she would do. When I try to bring up her maybe liking girls as well as guys she rejects that idea however sometimes, like this week before the 'goodbye incident' she brought up how she was checking out some girl in a meeting. She's so confusing but I'm glad I'm not crazy in thinking most coworkers wouldn't storm in like that Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted May 15, 2016 Share Posted May 15, 2016 Even if she *did* have a thing for you, her behaviour was still Weird Link to post Share on other sites
privategal Posted May 15, 2016 Share Posted May 15, 2016 Hmm, First of all...maybe you should keep work a little more pc as far as topics you discuss and people you date there. Do you want promotions and to earn respect? Sounds a little unprofessional. Perhaps google dating in the workplace.its a horriiibblleeee idea. Also, shes all over the place...likes girls, guys, sending mixed signals and making a scene about a goodbye. She may have some issues and Id truly friendzone her and distance and if you are forced to explain..maybe say you are trying harder to focus on your career and job nothing personal. Your other post was about this same type of topic a year ago. Id reel all that in. Work is what you do for 8 hours to pay bills and live. Your personal life should be seperate. You have a reputation to upkeep and a job to do. Tone this other stuff down so you dont invite drama and start using the other doir every day to not pass her desk. This isnt high school. Link to post Share on other sites
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