blondie22 Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 I'm 22 and living in a college town.. I was going to college but had to take time off to work and save money. I just have been losing all my connections with any friends from high school and haven't really made any in college or work that have stuck. I have a best friend since childhood but she goes to another college in a different town and I don't see her much. I live with my boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 1/2 years. I guess that has contributed to me not building up a very big social group. I'm happy with him and he's my best friend. But I have no one else to talk to or go out with. I just got laid off my job so I'm home all day and feeling pretty down... there's a group of girls from my home town who go to school here who I would hang around with occasionally but we have never became more than just casual friends.. They invite me and my boyfriend to parties or out to the bars ever so often but nothing more. It sucks being on social medias and seeing everyone hanging out with their friends and going out at night, it makes me sad. And I take it personally every time I see those girls go out and don't invite me. :/ Honestly I don't understand why I'm not clicking with anyone. In high school I always had friends.. If I told anyone I don't have any they would be very surprised. I can be shy at first but I usually open up pretty easily I always find someone to chat with at work and when I was going to school I always have a buddy in every class pretty much. I guess I get in my head too much and feel like I can't force a friendship if it doesn't happen naturally... But I want friends so badly I feel desperate. I get embarrassed if I'm rejected to hang out and then don't continue trying. I have only had my boyfriend as a friend for 3 years now. And those girls I would hang out with here and there for 2 already.. I feel like if we were going to become close it would have happened already. I'm feeling so self conscious now. I always thought I was likable with a good personality. I'm pretty down to earth and don't gossip much or cause drama. this just sucks Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Take the initiative. Reach out to the girls from your hometown & arrange to do something with them. They may think you have your long term BF & don't need friendship. Meanwhile volunteer your time doing something you enjoy while you look for a new job. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
deckard11 Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 Most (if not all) people are too self centered and into themselves and only want to be friends with certain people. That's why I got tired of them and decided to have no more friends in my life. Best decision I ever made. If it really matters to you to have friends then try and make some. But really, why would you even want to with how people are today? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 29, 2016 Share Posted April 29, 2016 You have to reach out to the girls and let them know you would like to hang out with them. Maybe they don't invite you because they don't know that you want to go. Link to post Share on other sites
2016forme Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 I'm 22 and living in a college town.. I was going to college but had to take time off to work and save money. I just have been losing all my connections with any friends from high school and haven't really made any in college or work that have stuck. I have a best friend since childhood but she goes to another college in a different town and I don't see her much. I live with my boyfriend who I've been dating for 6 1/2 years. I guess that has contributed to me not building up a very big social group. I'm happy with him and he's my best friend. But I have no one else to talk to or go out with. I just got laid off my job so I'm home all day and feeling pretty down... there's a group of girls from my home town who go to school here who I would hang around with occasionally but we have never became more than just casual friends.. They invite me and my boyfriend to parties or out to the bars ever so often but nothing more. It sucks being on social medias and seeing everyone hanging out with their friends and going out at night, it makes me sad. And I take it personally every time I see those girls go out and don't invite me. :/ Honestly I don't understand why I'm not clicking with anyone. In high school I always had friends.. If I told anyone I don't have any they would be very surprised. I can be shy at first but I usually open up pretty easily I always find someone to chat with at work and when I was going to school I always have a buddy in every class pretty much. I guess I get in my head too much and feel like I can't force a friendship if it doesn't happen naturally... But I want friends so badly I feel desperate. I get embarrassed if I'm rejected to hang out and then don't continue trying. I have only had my boyfriend as a friend for 3 years now. And those girls I would hang out with here and there for 2 already.. I feel like if we were going to become close it would have happened already. I'm feeling so self conscious now. I always thought I was likable with a good personality. I'm pretty down to earth and don't gossip much or cause drama. this just sucks Hello Blondie, I must admit that there is nothing wrong with not having the same friends just like when you were in high school. Life changes for us when we graduate high school. That's perfectly normal. Your life has changed. You are in the real world, interacting with different people. You have a great personality. Many people look for a special friend like you. One who doesn't gossip or cause drama. Those are friendship qualities that will never change! You don't have to hang around some of the people who you went to high school with, only if you don't want to. Life is full of options. You will find a friend whom you can communicate with and be real with. Sometimes, life is not all about how many friends you have.Especially as it pertains to social media. Everyone who claims to be your friend really isn't! Remember, you don't need fake friends! Sometimes a person who you think is your best friend, he/she will turn around and stab you in the back! No one deserves a scandalous person like that! Be sociable. Make yourself friendly. Take your time in meeting people. That's how I met my best friend! We have been friends for twenty one years! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 OP do you have any hobbies or interests?? Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 I know lots of women who have put their friends on the back burner when they got a boyfriend. In fact I'm on the back burner right now, even at my age. If you set anyone aside to spend most of your time with your bf, it's up to you to contact and see if they will take you back. It's easier to make friends while taking classes or working somewhere social and it shouldn't be a problem at your age to make friends as long as you don't give them excuses when they want to get together and are also inviting them to do things. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Kics Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 I have like 1 friend right now and it sucks. I feel lonely all the time during the weekends. What I have heard is that you could get a part-time job as a waitress or bartender so you can get to meet more people. You can also try working in retail and you can meet all sorts of people. There are apps too you can check out to make friends or meetup groups. There should be some organizations around your area you could join? Classes don't always yield friends but you could try that. Just try to focus on your self and trying to be more self-aware and just overall being a better person. Try not to worry on what you don't have and instead of what you have. When I feel really done I watch a tv show like the office to cheer me up. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
sickoflove11 Posted April 30, 2016 Share Posted April 30, 2016 I feel very similar to you a lot of the time. I can also relate a lot with the social media part. It's dumb and idk why I do this to myself but I will find myself looking at girls pages who have pictures of all their girlfriends having so much fun. I get really sad and envious of this and I try to snap out of it but the damage is already done. I don't think I'll ever have this again. Getting older it's so much harder to make friends. A couple of years ago my last bf and I broke up and I found myself without any friends. I had just been ok with hanging out with his friends and not making my own. It sucked a lot afterwards feeling so lonely, but then I just started bettering myself and doing things I like to do. It doesn't make not having any friends better, but at least I am comfortable being alone and with myself. I just went to a music festival all by myself yesterday intending to be alone the whole time just enjoying the music. I am not that outgoing and I'm kinda socially awkward, but I ended up meeting a great group of people. I was really proud of myself for having the courage to put my self out there and go do something I really wanted to do, knowing everyone is having a great time with their friends. So just do things you like to do and you never know! The worst that could happen is you stay where you are now. Which, at least you have a bf to come home to, that's one more person than some of us have! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Offspring Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 (edited) It sucks being on social medias and seeing everyone hanging out with their friends and going out at night, it makes me sad. I'm pretty down to earth and don't gossip much or cause drama. this just sucks Stay off social media! I understand how it feels, believe me . I would suggest to fill up your time with productive things, that make you happy. Try to get ahead for yourself. When you've got your act together and you are excelling, turn those people away and only stick with those who have been there when you've been "down". I don't want to jump ahead or anything, but when you're older and if you have kids, this usually brings a whole new group of friends, as you can join mothers groups and your kids will have play-dates Edited May 8, 2016 by Offspring Link to post Share on other sites
Offspring Posted May 8, 2016 Share Posted May 8, 2016 I just went to a music festival all by myself yesterday That is amazing sickoflove: good for you! Link to post Share on other sites
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