Mark1 Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 I am 25 years old, I have been friends with a group of about 8 other guys since middle school. We watch football together, go mini golfing, go to weddings etc. One of the guys in the group always seems to want to be the alpha dog. Always challenging people’s opinions/thoughts, arguing just to argue etc. He is very religious (Christian), and conservative. (I am a different religion and liberal). He was the first in our group to get married, buy a house etc Last year I decided to go back to school for a post-bacc program to eventually go to med school. Since then he has been saying very passive aggressive things like “i can’t imagine going back to school,” “dude, why don’t you just get a job,” “when are you gonna get married, we should find you a nice girl,” “how much of you wanting to be a doctor is $ related?” “isn’t it weird to be back in college? like what do you do all day?” He also seems really concerned with anything i post on facebook, always concerned with what I do online. Last year my dad gave me his own BMW, to which he said “dude, why do you have a BMW?? why not just get a normal car?” (he and his wife have 2 brand new Chevys) What is my friend’s issue? Or do I have the issue? Link to post Share on other sites
O'Malley Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 Congratulations on going to school! If your interactions with him don't feel fun and beneficial, it's probably time to downgrade to him to just being an acquaintance of your real friends (the ones who are supportive and are happy when good things happen for you). Someone you might occasionally run into when you're out with other people but that you're not obligated to interact with. Only allow comments from friends on your fb wall that aren't being a**hats. You don't owe this guy anything, including your ear or your fb for his criticisms. I'd disengage from the comments (it's rooted in his issues, not yours), but if he's repeatedly making these comments to you when you run into him, turn it on him. "I've noticed that you're really negative these days, what's up with that?." He'll probably attempt to turn it on you and accuse you of being sensitive, but be firm about your boundaries, change the subject or (better yet) walk off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 Because he is a penis. Sometimes there is no other explanation. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 One sign of maturity is when a person realizes that not everyone is like them or aspires to be the same values they aspire to. Your friend has not gotten there yet and may never if he happens to be a religious zealot of some kind. I grew up with a lot of those "only one way" people and they are not healthy. Just tell him "I'm not you and I wouldn't trade my life for yours." That ought to shut him up a little. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 1, 2016 Share Posted April 1, 2016 He is being passive and rude because he likes trying to make you feel bad. He's probably a bit jealous and those who put down others are usually not as happy or where they want to be in life. Distance yourself from him, or better yet next time he says something you don't like let him know that you don't want to hear it and to keep the comments to himself. He seems to be not a good friend to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted April 2, 2016 Share Posted April 2, 2016 Mark1, This person isn't a good friend to you and you don't need him in your life. Friends should support and encourage you, not drag you down. He sounds like a walking bag of negativity, and personally I'd walk in the other direction. Well done for working toward med school - good luck with your studies ! Link to post Share on other sites
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