Jenna09 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I have a guy best friend. We were very very close n equally attached to each other till a few weeks ago. All of a sudden i felt i like i was more important to him than he was to me. Rather he'd bwcome less important to me suddenly. Yeah. I felt like id be just fine without him n maybe better idk. I felt irritated n i kinda unconsciously avoided him in school. Iv never felt like this before. I felt suffocated i think by how it was an obligation to talk everu time we saw each other in the hallways. I cudnt do it anymore n i asked for some time... Like a pin drop silence break. But he wanted an all in or an all out. So we parted ways. He didn't take it well, he was all deoressed n low n felt lonely while i was doing pretty normal n nice. I missed him ag times but didn't feel like msginghim. N then he did. He asked me one more time if we cud try again. I well... I said okay. Cus i felt bad for his situation n i thought maybe things will be fine this time. Cus i no longer felt irritated or anythin. But im reallt concerned... Is it okay to not need him as much as he needs me? Cus it's a little scary. Is this an unhealthy friendship? What should i do? Sorry for the length. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 Do you think he has a crush on you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenna09 Posted February 5, 2016 Author Share Posted February 5, 2016 (edited) Okaayyy so there was this incident in btwn that i skipped.... Well it was getting too long n well i hoped it doesnt have any th ing to do with this peoblem Obviously since we were that close n we met each other daily at school, sometimes i did have doubts about us liking each other that way, but it was ignorable u know.. I never even felg the need to tell him. But well before all those problems began, one day he said he might be falling for me. Whdn he realised what he'd done, he assured me it was really just a bit n that it isn't an issue or anything, n i believe him. Well we decided not to change a thing btwn us n we were back to noemal again n theeeennn..... All of that haopened. N i dont think he likes me like that anymore well... Atleast not more than he probably did. Edited February 5, 2016 by Jenna09 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 He still does like you "that" way. This is why he asked you to get back in. Being you do not like him "that" way do not have a relationship with him. When are women going to learn that men do not want to be friends. They want to be your boyfriend. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 The problem is he keeps hoping you'll fall in love with him romantically, and you're not going to. So it's best you just insist he go away now. It's the nicest thing you can do for him. He doesn't ever want to just be friends. He's only saying that out of desperation. So tell him you're moving on and you hope he finds someone to love but that you both need to move on. You were feeling suffocated -- and I guarantee having him around was keeping some guys away, whether intentional or not on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenna09 Posted February 6, 2016 Author Share Posted February 6, 2016 Thanks for replying Hmm yeah that makes sense.... And i would've done what has to be done without any second thoughts... But im just stuck on the thought that maybe he doesnt really like me that way? Ok maybe im being dumb n naive here, but i just can't seem to remove that possibility from my mind! Do u think maybe he just hardly liked me but said it cus well, we share every litrle thing with each other? N well we had discussed on this topic. Id asked him openly if he still likes me that way n he just kinda... Welll said he doesn't know n it doesn't matter anyway. He said he wasn't even crazy about me or any thing so. Well kinda hurt his ego, that question. Is there really no possibility that he doesn't like me that way? N well Preraph yes about keeping other guys away yeah i felt that... Unintentionally tho but i was pissed off by that. Guys who used to say, flirt just stopped suddenly n this best friend got jealous of those one or two who still do. Well yes i get possesive too but honestly if he liked another girl i wud only try to set em up together! Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 6, 2016 Share Posted February 6, 2016 Jenna, Most guys aren't really into being friends and if they're adamant about hanging around, it's because they're hoping you will just drop into their lap someday without them making the moves because they're fearful. He would never have humiliated himself by saying that if he wasn't wishing you'd respond by saying, "Oh, I love you too." Now he's just pretending to only be friends because he knows otherwise he will lose access. He needs to lose access or everyone will think you're a couple and he may be just fine letting other guys believe that. You need to set him free. He'll never do it himself. There are so many guys on this forum who have written about it. He doesn't really have what it takes as far as confidence to get a girlfriend yet probably and thinks he can sneak his way in. Eventually, this should begin to work your nerves because it's tantamount to saying, You don't know what's good for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenna09 Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Alright so I ended it. He said he won't disturb me again, but I can if I want to - which doesn't really seem likely to me after all of this. Wow so I just lost the guy I could share every silly thing with. Anyway, it's done now. Thank you so much guys for helping me out!! Really appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 I know it probably feels weird, but you're doing him a favor in the long run. He will be forced to move on and maybe next girl he gets a crush on he'll take action. Hope you don't get too lonely without him. But my feeling is others will fill the void he left. So let everyone know in a kindly way that you two aren't hanging out anymore in case anyone is in the wings waiting. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenna09 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Hi preraph, thanks Yeah I guess it'll do him good. N surprisingly i dont feel lonely! In fact i just realised how many good friends I'd been avoiding because all my attention was on this guy! Lol. Honestly i don't miss him.... I only miss my old best friend. But all this feels like a positive changeh. I thank you again! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted February 8, 2016 Share Posted February 8, 2016 Alright so I ended it. He said he won't disturb me again, but I can if I want to - which doesn't really seem likely to me after all of this. Wow so I just lost the guy I could share every silly thing with. Anyway, it's done now. Thank you so much guys for helping me out!! Really appreciated When will women admit that they can not be friends with men? That a man wants a girlfriend, not a girl friend or woman friend. Did anyone notice the gap between girl friend and no gap with girlfriend? Men want the closeness. No one comes between him and his woman. The girl friend tells the him whether to buy flowers, which restaurant to go to, the girlfriend gets the flowers and goes to that special restaurant. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jenna09 Posted February 8, 2016 Author Share Posted February 8, 2016 Yeah i understand that. But it's a little hard to believe that it's that straight n simple. How can it hold true all the time? I dont know maybe i just trust him too much. I still can't accept that fact lol! Anyway im just dragging things here now haha, sorry for that. Yes you obviously know more! I'll try to keep it in mind in the future. Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
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