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Ending friendship. I feel like is my fault.


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Well I have a friend that I meet online, I’m from Europe and he’s from Asia but currently studying in LA. We started talking one and a half year ago and deweloped a very beautiful friendship even though it was a virtual one. We talked for hours through messages and Skype about anything from things that happen in our daily life to politics and economics. And since he doesn’t know English that good I offered to help him whenever he needed at his homeworks. In time i started to help him with music, math and other things. I considered him a special friend and it didn’t matter if he was waking me up at 3 am to talk or just ask my help with a resume about Renaissance period. And I think he considered me a good friend too, we exchanged gifts and all his free time he was spending it with me. He said I’m his favorite friend, he would like to show me to his parents and even sent a message to my mother thanking her for giving him such a friend.

This winter vacation he went back to his home country. At first he felt strange among his family and friends and was asking me to talk to him every day. And because I was a good friend I accepted it, it didn’t matter the hour or if I was having the Christmas dinner with my family.

But after the first of New year things started to change. That was the last time we talked face to face on Skype, it was I think on Friday. Saturday and Sunday we didn’t talked at all and because I felt strange I sent him a message Monday morning asking him what is he doing. After a few minutes he told me he was with his mother and I told him to have a good time and not to forget to take a selfie with his family since he made me do the same thing. Later that day I asked him to talk on Skype and he told me he was getting ready to take the last dinner with his family and that he’s going to do it tomorrow at the airport. The next day I waited to talk to him even though I was having classes but he told me he can’t talk to me because he needs to stay on a large row to embark. I understand him. When he landed in Vancouver his layover city I asked him how was his flight, what did he eat, how is he feeling but his answer were very short and eventually he told me to shut up and stop sending him messages. Then I saw he was online on Skype and asked him to skype but he refused and logged out. Later that night at 3am he sent me a message telling me that he’s flight to LA has a delay.

On Wednesday he sent me a picture showing me that it rains in LA and he is all wet. We didn’t talked much.

On Thursday I saw he was online on Skype and asked him to talk but he refused saying he’s at school and he’s going to do it later that day after he’s setting his internet at his new home because he was having a bad connection. The time passed and seeing he doesn’t say anything I asked him if he managed to make his internet. He read my message and didn’t said anything. On Saturday seeing that he doesn’t answer and that he’s online on messenger I started sending him message on phone and messenger app asking him if he’s mad on me, why isn’t he answering me, that I’m scared that I may lose his friendship for something that I may have done to him and asked him to forgive me. At the same time when he wasn’t talking with me one of my neighbors died of cancer and I sent him a selfie with tears in my eyes saying him that I’m very sad. He always said he wants to see me crying and I thought we are going to start a funny conversation from this.

After 2 days he sent me a message asking for my help at English and I helped him. Again he was ignoring me every time I was asking him what is he doing, where he is and telling him to Skype (I was always seeing him online)

After a few days I asked him if he’s still alive and he said yes. I told him that I started to book hotels for our trip in Europe that we were planning for months and asked me why didn’t I talked with him. I said that he didn’t talked to me for a while and I didn’t wanted to disturb him after which he said he’s going to talk with me latter when reaches home. After 2 hours I saw him online on Skype and didn’t talked with me.

After 2-3 days he asked again for my help with an essay and I helped him as good friend even though I stayed awake from 2 to 4 am for this.

And again didn’t talked with me until I asked him when is he going back to his home country, what plans does he have for volunteering. Seeing he’s answers are short again I asked if he still wants to go on the summer trip with me. He read my message and answered after 3 hours that he’s going to buy the plane tickets to come to me in march. And that we should go in more countries not only Norway because is expensive for him. He proposed to go on Portugal, Spain, France and Belgium but I told him that I’m not going to have the money to visit all this countries. He said not to worry because he’s going to give me 1000$. I refused and said to give up at France because is expensive , dangerous with all the terrorists attacks and that my mother isn’t going to let me there. But he told me I don’t need to tell me mother and didn’t want to hear about giving up France. He proposed me to stay on hostels to save money and we can even spend time with our roommates. I told him I can’t share my room and bathroom with strangers and told him that he’s traveling with me and should spend time together not with strangers but he told me not to tell him what to do.

Finally seeing that I don’t want to go to France he told me I’m a coward, I am not like him and Bye.

I asked him where is he going. He told me that I don’t know why he ignored me and started telling me that he doesn’t belong to me, that I shouldn’t cry because he doesn’t care about me, I shouldn’t try to make myself a part of his life and he doesn’t want to be a part of my life but only a good memory, let’s cancel the travel I can’t handle you, you’re like a dog, and he didn’t felt anything when he saw me with tears in the eyes and he doesn’t like me to beg for his attention. That i am stressful because I don’t know my mistake, I shouldn’t control him.

After this he unfriended me on facebook , deactivated his profile and blocked me on all messenger app except one where he sent a sad piano song, telling me he composed it for me and told me bye. I’ve sent him a few message but he just read them without answering.

Right now I don’t know what to do anymore. I have exams at faculty and all I can think about is that I’m really a horrible person and feel like it’s only my fault for losing his friendship. Why would he end our friendship using the excuse that I disturbed him with my messages 20 days ago? Was I so stupid for letting him control me? But in my conception for a good friend I would do almost anything. Can this friendship be saved somehow, is it worth saving? I even thought of taking a plane and go to see him in September and talk to him.

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l would unfortunately let this one go.

I think in a way at first he either saw you as a girlfriend potential or was just caught up getting to know a new girl and now that he has, he is immature and doesn't know how to develop a friendship, maybe changed his mind and wanted no romance but rather platonic only, as he may have met a girl and is spending time talking to her and Skype etc.

A true friend would not speak to you that way or insult you or push you away. I wouldn't be able to forgive that and just move on like nothing happened. Just cut him off and leave him be.

That was very mean and I think you saw his true colors and should not allow anymore communication.

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