Kantaenos Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Preface: I am a third year college student in his early twenties. Over a year ago a buddy added me to a group chat with his other friends that I had generally been acquainted with for the past year. Fast forward to the present (1.5 years) and that buddy has become my best friend and I have done many social activities with the group irl. The problem is that I find myself filling the "loser role"of the group. I am constantly ignored in the group chat, leave many of the group outings feeling like crap, always getting significant information last (and its always from my friend who introduced me to the group) etc. All of the conversations I have with the others are so basic/vapid, and I only get invited to half the things through my best friend. I know I only have myself to blame (don't have a job, virgin/never been in a relationship, weak social skills, etc. But I am vigorously trying to change that. Each time I go out with the group though I feel like my confidence is rotting away and being ignored in the chats kills me. Im thinking of going NC with the group and focusing on building my confidence/social skills. I plan to keep contact with my good friend but not with the rest of the group. Is this a good idea or will it hinder my progress? I worry that when I try to put myself out there with new people they'll receive me normally, but then if I do it in this group they'll cut me down because its not in my "character" and will feel awkward to them. Overall this would kill my progress. Im pretty bent towards going nc but id like to hear your input. Im hoping that after a year of building my confidence with new people and landing an internship I will I'll finally make it to "the other side". 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 Focus on building your friendship with him, make it stronger and go out with him one on one. Leave that group but if you are concerned about quitting (deleting your name from the group) just stop entering the group chat. What's your hobby and passion? Join a group *physically* not online. Get out and meet new people with similar interests and hobbies as you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kantaenos Posted January 4, 2016 Author Share Posted January 4, 2016 Thanks for your response, I plan to keep hanging out with my good friend. I also just want it to be clear, everyone I mentioned IS a PHYSICAL acquaintance, we all attend the same school. Its just that we often talk on the group chat before we go out in person. And the gc is what marked the beginning of my relationship with the group. Link to post Share on other sites
Greene0Kelly Posted January 4, 2016 Share Posted January 4, 2016 That group chat is not healthy for you. So, better leave. You treasure that one friend. It's not bad to only have one friend At least, he/she is real. How about your classmates? What is your social status to them? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts