craque Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Hello. I've registered here to know your opinion about this subject, hope we can share perspectives and stories about this. I still talk to some bestfriends from childhood but most of them took different paths from me, and I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore, altought I still care for them I don't feel like I have something to say to them anymore... our likes, hobbies, and everything differ so much that we have no common subject anymore. Still, I kind of exist for them to take advantage of, by that I mean, they kind of use me for favours. They are always asking me stuff, and first I was glad I could help, but now I kind of feel tired, expecially because they've lost all their useful value and "coolness" once I tought they had. Have you been in similar situations? What have you done? What is the best thing to do in your opinion? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted February 3, 2005 Share Posted February 3, 2005 Originally posted by craque Have you been in similar situations? What have you done? What is the best thing to do in your opinion? Yes, definitely. I made myself hard to reach, and when they did reach me I made sure I was busy. I found things to fill my time that would not leave an opening for taking care of other people's business. I wasn't mean - just obviously "unavailable", and friendly but distant (and often "rushed to be somewhere else") if I happened to run across someone in person. Eventually they'll get the point. Often times I found that by withdrawing myself from the scope of "helpfulness" that they had little other use for me and I just stopped hearing from them. That's for the best really. You don't want to be stuck obligated to your 'friends'. If you've outgrown them, pull away slowly and then move on. Sometimes the hardest thing to say is "no", but once you do it a few times you find that its rather freeing. Link to post Share on other sites
joel Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 i really wonder about ppl who says they have freinds they known since childhood and they are in thier 20's i mean how did u stay so connected within those long yr-differ schools, subjects, nothing to talk about..... i myself alsways had freinds just not many one good freinds but they leave and i move on and make more freinds and talk to other ppl and from there make more-some become aquitances and others become freinds and very few become freinds u hang with . well i alwayws talk to ppl sometimes i force it . now i will be more gradual but at the same time talk to more ppl. be the taltkvie guy. like sam malone from cheers hehe i try to act like him-the guy from cheers Link to post Share on other sites
Minnie Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 I truly believe you can have friends on many levels. To be a friend is not to absorb the time and space of the person but to appreciate and uphold them where they are at. Some are more needy than others and sometimes we ourselves are needy or needed but the friendship part is not based on the need. it is based on the joy of being with and rooting for and knowing that person. SO if one subtracts the need completely and all parties are whole in themselves--would they still be rooting for you ? and would you be at their side in spirit? If all are kings and queens tomorrow and hold each other in fond regard, that is friendship. If yes.....then you are friends. If no ....then it was just a need and no less important....just different. Ships passing in the night refueling the other then going on their merry way. Link to post Share on other sites
MassiveAtom Posted February 11, 2005 Share Posted February 11, 2005 Sounds like takers. You know I think everyone with an ounce of visible personal power has dragged these parasites along for awhile. They latch on to you and suck the life out of your spirit. They weaken you, they feed off of you. and they're hard to get rid of because their poison messes with your brain. It makes you think you WANT to help them when in reality you just want to run! I've had frinds like that. My ex WAS that. Link to post Share on other sites
Reactant Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 I used to have a best friend. I met in grade 8 when I moved to a new city. He was quiet. As we spoke to one another it amazed us how similar we were. We gradually became best friends. Years past and we still saw each other practically everyday. Though during this time span, he would mention how things will be differnt in the future, how we wouldnt meet each other or have any time. That we would all change and gradually move on and forget one another. I always denied it. It seemed stupid, everyone's lives are differnt, we dont HAVE to depart. Months before graduation he moved about an hour away. We still talked and met once 5 times a week. After graduation, he slowly distanced himself. We went to differnt post-secondary institutions. I hardly saw him ever. He did come about a year ago to my house and we hanged for a bit. I saw he changed a lot, but we still had a lot in common, but i could tell he dindt feel that way. For some reason, he stopped answering my calls. I doubt he suddenly hates me. I think he wants to move on. Quiet stupid to suddenly decide it and never mention it to the other party. Or maybe I didnt pick up on his clues and never suspected what was to become. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted February 13, 2005 Share Posted February 13, 2005 Originally posted by craque Have you been in similar situations? What have you done? What is the best thing to do in your opinion? this is normal CRAQUE and happens to most people. most relationships only exist for a certain time and place. get a new group of friends more suited to you life now and don't let people take advantage of you anymore. you'll be much happier. Link to post Share on other sites
DayumQuitPlayin Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 I feel you.. recently that had happened to me too.. thought they were friends.. but the truth came out. I've moved onto newer friends.. and older ones that I haven't really kept touch with. I found out that its much better now.. You don't need part-time friends.. find new ones..and rekindle old ones Good Luck Link to post Share on other sites
Reactant Posted February 14, 2005 Share Posted February 14, 2005 Is that all there is to it? Hello, I m so-one-so. Lets be friends so both of our needs of being socially adequate are met until one of us leave to meet another group of losers? I live in a university campus. After 4 years of being in a class room with a total 130 students (slowly decreasing) and living in residence I leave and make brand new set of friends? I dont live in that area, and neither do many other people that live in residence. So does that mean that after 4 years of being really good friends and sharring a connection, we suddenly look at our own ways and depart? I dont know, its all obvious. But it leaves me feeling a bit empty. There has to be more to life than that. Theres just gotta be. Link to post Share on other sites
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