SaveYourself Posted December 4, 2015 Share Posted December 4, 2015 Basically, my best friend is close to a guy im in love with. She doesnt know, he doesnt know, no one knows, and trust me it needs to stay that way. Im incredibly close to him too, but so is she. And ever since I realised I was in love with him I've become unbelievably jealous of their friendship. Not long ago she sort of panicked because I think she realised he was closer to me than her, and since then she's a bit secretive with him. Making private jokes and not involving me, being a bit condescending towards me etc. (Although trust me when I say she doesnt like him like I do, if thats what you're thinking) Long story short, Im going insane with jealousy. I literally want to punch her. And it's affecting my friendship with her because Im completely avoiding contact, I cant bear seeing her face because I get so angry looking at it lol! I just cant help seeing her as toxic and full of poison, trying to take him away from me. What on earth do I do to get rid of this insane jealousy? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Either come clean with him and tell him how you feel, lay it all out there or distance yourself from both of them, detach from him because it's really hard to be around someone you want/love and can't have. The jealously IS because of your feelings for him and this won't go away, in fact it'll get worse as time goes on. Is it possible your friend likes him too? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaveYourself Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Either come clean with him and tell him how you feel, lay it all out there or distance yourself from both of them, detach from him because it's really hard to be around someone you want/love and can't have. The jealously IS because of your feelings for him and this won't go away, in fact it'll get worse as time goes on. Is it possible your friend likes him too? Trust me, my friend definitely isn't into him like that I've been trying to cut myself off from the three way friendship we have, just talking to them separately and avoiding them when they're together. They've noticed this though, because the three of us used to be very close, but I guess they are bound to. I'm still so jealous and sad but I'm less crazy now lol, my mood isn't completely everywhere like it was, so I guess it's working at least a little Link to post Share on other sites
Cherryz Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 So you just sit and imagine all of this and get jealous? lol How old are you? You sound very young. What about telling him you like him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaveYourself Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 So you just sit and imagine all of this and get jealous? lol How old are you? You sound very young. What about telling him you like him? Imagine? Unfortunately it's happening I'm actually 17 haha, I don't think I'm wording the situation right. I really can't, there are certain complications :/ (don't worry he doesn't have a girlfriend or anything like that) I just can't control this jealousy. I know I sound like a horrible person but I'm very shocked at myself, I'm not naturally a jealous person, I'm known as being happy-go-lucky. It's just everytime I see her face I want to punch her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaveYourself Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Can I just say, there is absolutely no way I will let this come between him and my friend. I will not allow myself to affect their friendship whatsoever. If I really can't handle it then it's my problem and I'll just have to cut myself off from them. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted December 5, 2015 Share Posted December 5, 2015 Well, I'm going to tell you the best thing to do but it won't immediately get rid of your miserable jealousy. But it will give you a better position from which to operate. Date other guys. If you can't do that immediately, get busy going out with friends (not them) and if you can't do that, take up a lone hobby. But you need to make yourself more interesting and revitalize your life because right now you are just stuck in the mud and letting life hit you. So move forward. If you can't completely refocus, at least divide your focus on to other things or people. No one is going to come around and suddenly "fall for you" when all you're doing is being in an anxious waiting limbo. It's unattractive. Guys like active happy girls who other people like to be around. Pull your feet out of the mud and get busy living again. Let them catch up with you if they want. Otherwise, just keep moving. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaveYourself Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Well, I'm going to tell you the best thing to do but it won't immediately get rid of your miserable jealousy. But it will give you a better position from which to operate. Date other guys. If you can't do that immediately, get busy going out with friends (not them) and if you can't do that, take up a lone hobby. But you need to make yourself more interesting and revitalize your life because right now you are just stuck in the mud and letting life hit you. So move forward. If you can't completely refocus, at least divide your focus on to other things or people. No one is going to come around and suddenly "fall for you" when all you're doing is being in an anxious waiting limbo. It's unattractive. Guys like active happy girls who other people like to be around. Pull your feet out of the mud and get busy living again. Let them catch up with you if they want. Otherwise, just keep moving. Good luck. This is exactly what I needed to hear, thank you. I'll refocus on my other friends and other parts of my life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 6, 2015 Share Posted December 6, 2015 Trust me, my friend definitely isn't into him like that I've been trying to cut myself off from the three way friendship we have, just talking to them separately and avoiding them when they're together. They've noticed this though, because the three of us used to be very close, but I guess they are bound to. I'm still so jealous and sad but I'm less crazy now lol, my mood isn't completely everywhere like it was, so I guess it's working at least a little 3 doesn't work!! Even though there's a guy involved this is a 'thing' with girls. Remember having two friends, 3 of you all hanging around and one person always felt left out? This is similar except that because of your feelings for him you could be taking things out of context and over thinking it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SaveYourself Posted December 6, 2015 Author Share Posted December 6, 2015 3 doesn't work!! Even though there's a guy involved this is a 'thing' with girls. Remember having two friends, 3 of you all hanging around and one person always felt left out? This is similar except that because of your feelings for him you could be taking things out of context and over thinking it. That makes a lot of sense... Thank you 1 Link to post Share on other sites
winny Posted December 7, 2015 Share Posted December 7, 2015 Basically, my best friend is close to a guy im in love with. She doesnt know, he doesnt know, no one knows, and trust me it needs to stay that way. Im incredibly close to him too, but so is she. And ever since I realised I was in love with him I've become unbelievably jealous of their friendship. Not long ago she sort of panicked because I think she realised he was closer to me than her, and since then she's a bit secretive with him. Making private jokes and not involving me, being a bit condescending towards me etc. (Although trust me when I say she doesnt like him like I do, if thats what you're thinking) Long story short, Im going insane with jealousy. I literally want to punch her. And it's affecting my friendship with her because Im completely avoiding contact, I cant bear seeing her face because I get so angry looking at it lol! I just cant help seeing her as toxic and full of poison, trying to take him away from me. What on earth do I do to get rid of this insane jealousy? I have been in similar situation where I was this other girl and the girl who was in your place.. she was so jealous of me and hated me and played so many games with me and made me suffer for no fault of mine. Like others said, please get a life outside of these 2 people and move on instead of being jealous it is of no good to anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
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