Sugarkane Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Friends dumped me while i was pregnant. Lost my friendship group years ago, when my cheating ex and his two faced friends stabbed me in the back. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Join a pregnancy / mom's group. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve or treat these new people like your long lost BFFs but do spend some time with them. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 Tried that twice and i was the onky one who bothered going. B][/b]Join a pregnancy / mom's group. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve or treat these new people like your long lost BFFs but do spend some time with them. Link to post Share on other sites
truthtripper Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 My friends dumped me when I became chronically ill. They were also backstabbing me. Depending on the age of your child, volunteer work can be helpful to meet compassionate others and it also gives our self-value a boost. There's no point hankering after old friends who now don't care about us and wishing they would change and like us as they once did. They're just not worth the effort complaining about, are they? It's time to move on. Do yourself a favour. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 From what I've noticed over the months reading your posts, you are too much of a downer for most people to enjoy being around. Too much feeling sorry for yourself and whining and nixing every piece of advice anyone gives you. Time to go to a psychologist and get it all off your chest and make sure you're not chronically depressed or have a chemical imbalance. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 But i dont talk about my problems. From what I've noticed over the months reading your posts, you are too much of a downer for most people to enjoy being around. Too much feeling sorry for yourself and whining and nixing every piece of advice anyone gives you. Time to go to a psychologist and get it all off your chest and make sure you're not chronically depressed or have a chemical imbalance. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 I'm sick if being excluded and when i ask why either get no answer or fake promises to meet up, that never eventuate. Yet my old friends are able to communicate and still meet up with each other? And my scumbag ex never seems to lose friends? Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 (edited) ............................. Edited September 4, 2015 by cerridwen Sigh 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 But i dont talk about my problems. It must come accross in your attitude then. Your posts are always very negative, you probably have a negitive vibe about you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I'm sick if being excluded and when i ask why either get no answer or fake promises to meet up, that never eventuate. Yet my old friends are able to communicate and still meet up with each other? And my scumbag ex never seems to lose friends? Comparing your life against the yardstick of your ex boyfriend's will never allow you to be happy with what you have. I would suggest resisting that urge, for starters. Its sounds to me like you need a change in perspective. It's really hard to leave a toxic crowd precisely because being around them can make you feel toxic and negative yourself. I would strongly suggest you think about what makes you happy, and do that thing. What do you like to do? Art? Hiking? Bicycling? Whatever! Anything is fine.... as long as it's something you genuinely like doing. Even if it's by yourself for a while. People take notice when they meet someone who has discovered how to make themselves happy. When you meet someone with a passion, it makes an impression. And before you know it, you want to do X or Y with them. Get interested in something, and invest in it. Friends will come, I promise you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sportygirl89 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 But i dont talk about my problems. It is obvious you are resentful. They probably sense that negative vibe. Emotions and non communication techniques can show a lot even though you may not say your problems. Seeing a therapist doesn't mean you are weak. You are saying no to everything people have suggested. Try putting your self out there more just don't invest as much energy at first. I am in my hometown so hard to meet new people. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Clearly people can tell, whether you think you should be able to fool them or not. People aren't idiots. Body language says it all even if you don't. Get real help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 As ive said multiple times who on here posts about happy stuff? I dont need advice on happy stuff. It must come accross in your attitude then. Your posts are always very negative, you probably have a negitive vibe about you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 I dont want "to get help" with my past crap experiences with counselling. Ive wasted time and thousands of dollars with no insight than here. Clearly people can tell, whether you think you should be able to fool them or not. People aren't idiots. Body language says it all even if you don't. Get real help. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Can you tell us what positive you will bring to a friendship? What is it about you that should attract other people? I don't want to be mean but I have to say that the only impression I get from you is that you are resentful of EVERYBODY and very entitled, is that attractive?? Nobody HAS to be friends with anybody, they are friends because of getting pleasure out of being together, common interests, empathy, etc. You can work on that stuff if you want to , you have said many times that you won't or can't and that it's all other people's fault anyway, but until you DO your life is probably going to continue like this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Zagan Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I agree with what most others have said here. You come across as quite self loathing and a bit of a moaner. That's not an attractive attitude nor is it a fun attitude to have in any way at all so people aren't going to gravitate toward you. Every person on here and on this planet, infact, in some way have had or have problems, have hurt, past hurt, worries, concerns, self issues.. It's how you choose to deal with these things and your attitude about them that shows other people what kind of personality you are. Someone mentioned a pregnancy/ma group and you straight away shot them down saying you tried but were the only one who bothered going. So I'm guessing you just gave up at that one hurdle. Try other groups. Stop being so defeatist. If it bothers you this much that you can't make friends or attract people, instead of feeling sorry for yourself you should be trying harder than ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 +1 what Zagan said. It should be instructive to you if you look over this thread. Consider which posts you've responded to, and which you've ignored. Mostly, you're responding to argue with people who accused you of having a bad attitude. If you're here to argue, by all means keep doing so. But if you're here to get some useful advice for your problem, you can instead choose to look into the various advices you've been given. It's really your decision at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 I dont want "to get help" with my past crap experiences with counselling. Ive wasted time and thousands of dollars with no insight than here. It's because you won't listen or ever admit you contribute to your own problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 It isnt. The pregnancy counselling was a joke. All they did was sebd me around and around in circles- with no help at all with my interfering in laws. All they did was follow their procedure, pretend to counsel me. When really all the hospital did was get me to unneccessacarily repeat everything over and over. It's because you won't listen or ever admit you contribute to your own problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I dont post happy stuff because i dont need advice with happy stuff! I think you'll find that with most posters. +1 what Zagan said. It should be instructive to you if you look over this thread. Consider which posts you've responded to, and which you've ignored. Mostly, you're responding to argue with people who accused you of having a bad attitude. If you're here to argue, by all means keep doing so. But if you're here to get some useful advice for your problem, you can instead choose to look into the various advices you've been given. It's really your decision at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I wouldnt be negative if i wasnt dumped for a lying, cheating, arrogant ex or ex friend, who gets off on hurting people. Or just excluded and ignored. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I would say i'm loyal, honest, friendly, excellent listener, i'm empathetic. I'm interested in people who have lived very differently. Lots more. I'm not judgemental. Biggest thing- I'm not a sheep like most people. Can you tell us what positive you will bring to a friendship? What is it about you that should attract other people? I don't want to be mean but I have to say that the only impression I get from you is that you are resentful of EVERYBODY and very entitled, is that attractive?? Nobody HAS to be friends with anybody, they are friends because of getting pleasure out of being together, common interests, empathy, etc. You can work on that stuff if you want to , you have said many times that you won't or can't and that it's all other people's fault anyway, but until you DO your life is probably going to continue like this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I also cant stand people who make promises of meeting up- and then never do. Also people not willing to make new friends because only keeping an established group is much wasier and safer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sugarkane Posted September 7, 2015 Author Share Posted September 7, 2015 I do thats why i post here. It's because you won't listen or ever admit you contribute to your own problems. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 Why don't you try to post on here for a week every day and say nothing but positive things about other people and say the things you are grateful for everyday. Also acknowledge all people who did anything at all for you. Not ONE bad thing about ANY person!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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