best friend ignoring all his friends for years...?

[Mjm1014]

So I've need opinions how to tackle this...my best friend from college has been ignoring me since we graduated 4 years ago. Him and I would hang out literally almost everyday for years while we were in school, work out together daily, go on vacations (even a family vacation), grab dinners, go out Friday nights and have a blast. After college, he ended up meeting a girl and he immediately cut all contact with everyone, won't return calls or texts and completely ignores me and all his close pals...the thing is, I've asked a lot of his friends, and they don't hear from him either-it's like he completely moved on with his life. Word has it that he's engaged now and he still hasn't reached out.

 

I know by now, the friendship is over, but when I get together with some of the guys, we always end up bringing him up and we are all very confused and wonder how he could just ditch us like that. He was literally my best friend. Has anyone else been in a situation like that, and if so, should we try to figure out what's up? I mean, even people outside of my social circle don't hear from him, and according to his Facebook, even his own family write on his wall calling him a stranger. Very bizarre-my friends and I just want closure though if we did something to tick him off?

Edited August 27, 2015 by Mjm1014

[sadwithouthim]

I think the least likely reason is that you (and his family, friends, everyone) ticked him off.

 

This kind of sounds like me, in a way, so I felt compelled to answer this. My reason is that I'm scared to be judged by people, and think my life is a mess. It could be described as depression and hopelessness that makes me withdraw from everyone. I'm not happy with certain issues in my life, and feel overwhelmed.

 

Now, there are other possible reasons he could be withdrawing, and they are as follows:

 

1) He has a very unhealthy obsession with the fiance, and is hyper-focused on only her.

 

2) The fiance has a very unhealthy obsession with him, and has to control his every move (who he talks to, what he does)

 

3) He just really doesn't have time (does he have a super-demanding career with very long hours?)

[Mjm1014]

Thanks for the reply! I'm not exactly sure what it is, but I'll tell you this much...when he dated another girl briefly in college the same thing happened! She would make dinners for her and her friends all the time (when they lived together), and we were not once invited, and we stopped hearing from him completely also. They broke up and the next day he was calling all of us and wanting to be inseparable again.

 

Part of me feels like we were not viewed as his friends ever and that he just hung out with us so he wouldn't be lonely when he didn't have a girlfriend. I hate to think that, because like I said, he was my best friend-and my other friend that was friends with him felt the same way. There were a lot of people in his corner from college, no one has heard a word in years so we are all very confused what we did wrong to him to deserve this. Even when we call him on a holiday he won't pick up or respond, like we are dead to him.

 

I guess this post was more of a vent because I don't really see any solution or any reason to keep a friend like that. Just sucks I could have been making true friends instead of hanging with him all those years in college and getting screwed in the process.