isthischeating Posted August 24, 2015 Share Posted August 24, 2015 I have had this great friendship with a female colleague over the past 2+years. We are not in a relationship as I have recently divorced and really want my freedom. Our friendship is platonic even though we have gone out for coffee and lunches on numerous occasions. Just last week she asked me out on 2 separate occasions and we had a great time. Now this week we are both on vacation and I had prior plans of visiting family cancelled so I asked if she would like to hang out and she does not answer back for over a day. This is not the first time that she has done this to me and it drives me crazy as I am always there for her when she needs to talk. Maybe, I'm just being paranoid here but what do women actually want? I am not a woman bashing here, I just want some honest opinions. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Was this a text you sent?? If so maybe she got it while she was driving or busy and then simply forgot to reply, I'm guilty of doing this. Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 Have you considered that she may want more than a platonic friendship? Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Was this a text you sent?? If so maybe she got it while she was driving or busy and then simply forgot to reply, I'm guilty of doing this. Ty! yes it was a text. I do not believe that to be the case. It just happens too often and then we meet and it's like none of this happened. It drives me nuts, I have till now just ignored it given the excellent friendship we share. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Have you considered that she may want more than a platonic friendship? I know she likes me just by little hints she will leave like "I had a great time" "I am really looking forward to seeing ya" etc. I am hesitant though as I have just gotten over a very painful divorce. Darn, I am soooo confused. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 (edited) Not everyone checks their phone often or responds right away. I'm wondering if she even leaves it at home or turns it off or just doesn't like to check her phone if she's out with people. I wouldn't take it personally unless she is constantly checking her phone and responding to text messages while she is out with you. Don't let her know it upsets you or she'll think you're needy. Edited August 25, 2015 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I know she likes me just by little hints she will leave like "I had a great time" "I am really looking forward to seeing ya" etc. I am hesitant though as I have just gotten over a very painful divorce. Darn, I am soooo confused. I say these kinds of things to platonic friends all the time. It doesn't necessarily mean she likes you in that way. If she did have romantic feelings for you, I don't think she'd ignore you for over a day when you invite her out. I think it's okay to subtly call her out on this. Maybe something like, "How come it takes you so long to respond sometimes when I invite you out?" If you don't want to say anything about it to her, I think it would be fair to wait about an hour or so after texting her and if you don't hear back from her in that time you can just assume the answer is no and go on about your day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 Not everyone checks their phone often or responds right away. I'm wondering if she even leaves it at home or turns it off or just doesn't like to check her phone if she's out with people. I wouldn't take it personally unless she is constantly checking her phone and responding to text messages while she is out with you. Don't let her know it upsets you or she'll think you're needy. Ty for yr prespective. I dont intend texting back till I connect next week face to face. Seriously I all this texting crap Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 I say these kinds of things to platonic friends all the time. It doesn't necessarily mean she likes you in that way. If she did have romantic feelings for you, I don't think she'd ignore you for over a day when you invite her out. I think it's okay to subtly call her out on this. Maybe something like, "How come it takes you so long to respond sometimes when I invite you out?" If you don't want to say anything about it to her, I think it would be fair to wait about an hour or so after texting her and if you don't hear back from her in that time you can just assume the answer is no and go on about your day. Ty. I am just gonna leave till I get to it next week. Will keep u all posted. Thanks again to all who have written back. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 If you are platonic friends and she knows that, why do you expect an immediate response? You shouldn't expect of a platonic colleague friend what you'd expect from a GF. Link to post Share on other sites
Tailor2000 Posted August 25, 2015 Share Posted August 25, 2015 I've been around people who carry their phone in their hand all the time. They always texting , always replying, always on the phone. You send them a text, and they ignore you! Reverse it, they send you a text, and they get grumpy because you don't text straight away. I've had that. I've had someone get a bit grumpy because I couldn't text back straight away and they needed me to give them a lift! But would think nothing never replying to one of my texts. I don't understand the double standards of some people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 If you are platonic friends and she knows that, why do you expect an immediate response? You shouldn't expect of a platonic colleague friend what you'd expect from a GF. I dont understand what being a GF or not has anything to do with not responding. Its a text not an email. Also... All I was looking for is a Yes, No, I'm busy etc. Not just plain ignore yr msg. I never do that and maybe it just me. Ty for responding though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author isthischeating Posted August 25, 2015 Author Share Posted August 25, 2015 I've been around people who carry their phone in their hand all the time. They always texting , always replying, always on the phone. You send them a text, and they ignore you! Reverse it, they send you a text, and they get grumpy because you don't text straight away. I've had that. I've had someone get a bit grumpy because I couldn't text back straight away and they needed me to give them a lift! But would think nothing never replying to one of my texts. I don't understand the double standards of some people. Ty. That is exactly how my friend (maybe soon to be "So called" friend is like.). V always joke abt her being a genX trying to be a genY, if i know what I mean. I appreciate yr response as its exactly how I feel. Link to post Share on other sites
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