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Left out of group. Should I ask to join?


elgringo

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I joined a meetup hiking group several months ago. I have become facebook friends with several of the people in this group. Recently I have discovered that some of them have formed their own hiking group separate from the meetup group. They are posting pictures of their hikes on facebook. I would like to join in but not sure how to do so without seeming needy. I feel like i'm back in middle school again.

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I say to one or two of them to whom you feel closest:

 

 

Hey, your hikes look more fun then the MeetUp ones. You got room for one more on your next outing?

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Cliques and off-shoot groups happens all the time with meetup groups like yours, OP. People form cliques. It's human nature. And you're right, when it happens it makes the outsider feel like they're in middle school all over again because they feel left out.

 

Like d0nnivain said, just ask one of your hiking friends who is in that clique if you can join them on a hike. Be nonchalant about it. I'm sure you'll be included.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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So I messaged the person in the group that I was closest to. She talked to the people in this clique and they are not accepting new members because they can fit 5 people in this one guy's van and they like to drive there together. So that's kind of embarrassing. And then one of them threw a huge party at a vineyard on Sunday with a bunch of people from the hiking meetup group and I was not invited. So now I'm really feeling like an outsider. Not sure whether to stay with this group or not. Its very frustrating because I joined meetup in an effort to make new friends and have not been very successful. Ugggh.

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So I messaged the person in the group that I was closest to. She talked to the people in this clique and they are not accepting new members because they can fit 5 people in this one guy's van and they like to drive there together. So that's kind of embarrassing. And then one of them threw a huge party at a vineyard on Sunday with a bunch of people from the hiking meetup group and I was not invited. So now I'm really feeling like an outsider. Not sure whether to stay with this group or not. Its very frustrating because I joined meetup in an effort to make new friends and have not been very successful. Ugggh.

 

They like to "drive there together?" Well, that's rude. I would say NEXT! Meetups are ways to "meet" people, but proves my point that some people will always be a-holes and will form their own social circles without letting anyone in.

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