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Tag-Along friend?


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Hello. I am quite a introverted fellow who unfortunately doesn't talk all that much. WIch seems to be a requirement if u wanna keep friends.

 

It always starts good, contact, chat, get invites to town. But lately my group of friends are ignoring me. And seem unaware of it.

 

THey all went on a roadtrip to another country. They bragged to me about it before they went and after. How great it was !

Noone invited me :). One of them somehow asked why i didn't come, i mentioned the no invite part. She didn't say a thing. Because of their bragging i allready know of some other plans they got that i ain't invited to.

They don't call anymore or chit chat me up. They talk if i contact them, barely. ANd are like "oh idk if i told you this, been a while".... i just lol, ofc i don't know.

 

Since a TRIP a half year back that i couldn't go to cuz of work. THey all BONDED more and i've been put aside.

Idk what to do, i feel so left out. I'm that friend that noone needs but is here just in case noone else is?

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StalwartMind

That is certainly one of the common issues introverts can struggle with, especially if most of your friends are more extroverted. The thing is that no matter what type of person you are, you do have to show some initiative yourself. Especially if you have other introverted friends like yourself, because a common scenario is that both just "wait" for the other to contact them. In a way, you do have to make yourself be present, or others may even take your passiveness for being uninterested, while in reality you really do want to go out etc.

 

Just because someone is quiet doesn't mean they don't have anything to offer or say, in fact most do. Many like myself actually prefer small group or one on one conversation the most, since they typically give me more meaning. Whenever you start adding more, things tend to flood out in all directions and the focus can become lost. I can only speak for myself but the people I "bond" the most with, are those who are similar or actually understand introverted people.

 

It often doesn't take a lot to change things, granted that it may be more difficult for some if they have certain anxiety issues or so. I know it can feel like you are more of a "convenient" friend, but you are certainly needed, there are many who would appreciate your company. It takes effort and time to understand others, but everyone can be interesting company. The two most straightforward options for you is to show and take a bit more initiative yourself, as in contacting others. Don't be discouraged if people don't always want to go out, there can be many reasons why someone is busy. The other option is to look for people similar to yourself, who will know how you feel, this can be a more challenging task, but the best friendships I've had are with those who I connected a lot with.

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Is there anyone from the group that you talk to or hang out with one-on-one? Anyone worth keeping in touch with, that you could see outside of the group? You may have grown apart from the group. Sometimes that happens. Look for other people to hang out with; at the same time, if anyone still wants to stay friends then keep talking to them. And if you ever feel like someone is only talking to you because they have nothing else to do, don't bother with them.

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You can seriously do better than those people to begin with! :)

Don't let them bring you down, buddy!

There are other people out there waiting to meet you!

I'd be your friend since I'm the same way. Lol.

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Is there anyone from the group that you talk to or hang out with one-on-one? Anyone worth keeping in touch with, that you could see outside of the group? You may have grown apart from the group. Sometimes that happens. Look for other people to hang out with; at the same time, if anyone still wants to stay friends then keep talking to them. And if you ever feel like someone is only talking to you because they have nothing else to do, don't bother with them.

My girlfriend, bout it. She spends a lot of time with her BFF, a girl from that group and her cousin. So i can't really ditch them, nor do i want to...

i just wish stuff was as they used to be. Before this falling out or w/e.

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find other friends you don't need friends like them who are rude and selfish find friends that fit your style and needs like me there are few but i know even if we are far apart we still contact each like a true friend

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