How do you handle post friendship drama?

[La Trese]

I have had my fair share of friendship drama. Some of it was my fault, but the most recent one I really think I was wronged, and not like "think" as in my perspective, but I am pretty sure that my friends ****ed me over and there was nothing I could do about it. Basically what happened was that I had a group of really close friends. I fell into a period of depression for a while and my best friend at the time, instead of being there for me gossiped about me and turned the whole group of friends about me. We didn't flat out fight, but it was really painful when I was going through a post breakup depression and no one was answering my texts and when before they would drag me out with them because I was the funny one, after they started avoiding me and posting pictures on facebook together. They did it to another girl in the group too so its not just me.

 

Anyways its been a month since we all have graduated. Seeing them all on social media was very painful, so I didn't unfriend them, but I unfollowed them all. Now I am at the point where I snapped out of my depression on my own, and I have started to get out there and make new friends since I am going to a grad school program. I may see these people again since we are in the same field, but for now they aren't in my grad school program (they may go later, they may not).

 

Where do I take this from here? Handling drama after the fact has always been hard for me, and usually in the past I just go out of my way to avoid the person. But this time I want to make sure I am handling it maturely. I was just wondering how most people handle a situation where they felt hurt by a group of ex friends that they never want to get back with, but at the same time never explicitly got into a fight with. Would it be immature if I unfriended them all? I don't want them following my news. At the same time, maybe I should just keep it as is. I never see their news anyways. I am kind of over social media so I have been hanging out with people but I never post it so I am not really trying to "show anyone". If I see them again, how should I act? What if they start being mean? Last time I ran into them, some of them turned their head including my roommate at the time who was supposed to still be on good terms with me, but I tried to be the mature one and said hi anyways and a few of them seemed friendly. The ex best friend maybe I can say hi from afar and the ex roommate I kind of want to actively avoid since she was probably the one who backstabbed me the most, and everyone else keep it short and casual but i'm not sure if thats the right way to do it.

 

In general, when there is drama, when is it warranted to actively avoid them, when is it okay to keep your distance and politely say hi from afar, and when is okay to have casual conversations but not be close again. Those are the three things I have observed when my friends have had falling out with their friends and I never seem to know when to do what.

Edited July 21, 2015 by La Trese

[whichwayisup]

Instead of deleting them, make their profile limited, which means they will only see posts that you want them to see. Look in your settings when you go to your friends list.

 

Unfollowing them is good that way you don't see them in your newsfeed.

 

If you see them, say hi and keep on going. You aren't obligated to make small chat with them. If they don't talk to you, just try your best to go on like all is okay and tell yourself to keep calm and confident.