Called friend out on a racist comment...now I am the bad guy?

[silverfeather]

A 'friend' or ex friend now made a racist remark. I called her out on it.

 

Now I am the bad guy? I upset her or something and was overly harsh and overly pc. Some of the things said to me I really can't let go of.

 

To be honest I don't think I want to.

 

Just sharing really.

[loverboy69]

She's likely just being defensive.

 

How did you call her out on it? Were you with a crowd of people who heard the conversation?

[compassion42]

It's never easy to address issues like racism with friends.

But true friends are understanding of one another and I'm sure this friend already knows how you feel about this stuff and knew you would be offended.

Take some time to let your friend get over being called out for racism and maybe you could take time to think if this is the type of friend you really want to have anyway?

[SycamoreCircle]

Personally, I think what you did is wrong---if I'm understanding it correctly. I think it's wrong because you supposedly called her out on "racism", which implies her being "racist." That is you taking a higher moral ground over her, which can feel very condescending and hypocritical.

 

I think, on the other hand, if you had told her that you personally take offense to what she said, that it crosses boundaries with you, that that is a more acceptable position to process and adjust to.

 

Do you see the difference?

 

With the first instance, it's a higher, questionable universal law against her. In the second, it's your personal law which everyone, through spending time with you, getting to know you, must come to learn.

 

Now, you may feel that the higher law is the one at stake here, but that is a presumptuous attitude on your part.

Edited July 3, 2015 by SycamoreCircle