pygora1994 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 my friend and I have been friends for about 6 months. I used to date him a while back, and we didn't talk for about 9 months prior. Since we became friends we have been cycling between being close and distant with each other. we usually talk a couple of times a week and hangout a few times a month. I was getting frustrated because lately he hasn't been returning my messages consistently, and constantly canceling things on me with short notice. I texted him complaining, and he responded he didn't want to talk and didn't care. I bitched him out because I was getting annoyed. He later replied he was in a very fragile place and didn't want to talk at the moment. I haven't heard from him in a couple of days, but I do want to check in with him because I do care about him. If he is going through some mental stuff I want to be supportive if I can, but I also don't want to annoy him further. He is the type of person that can feel overwhelmed if a lot of stuff is happening to him at once. How can I de-escalate the situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Survivor12 Posted June 25, 2015 Share Posted June 25, 2015 By leaving him alone. When (and if) he is ready to reconnect, he will let you know. At that point, you will have the option to decide whether or not you are still interested in being friends with him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 This sounds like an unhealthy friendship maybe it's time to just let it go. You both are angry and pissed at one another, there's resentments, disrespect and boundaries that have been crossed (how you two treat one another, what you say and how it comes out). Focus on your friends who treat you well. Link to post Share on other sites
almond Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Agreed - this doesn't sound healthy at all. He hinted that he didn't want to talk by ignoring your messages and cancelling plans, and then straight out told you that he does not want to talk to you. You can't support someone who does not want support from you. He has told you to leave him alone, and I suggest that you respect both him and yourself enough to do just that. Do not contact him again, and move on. Put your energy into finding and nurturing healthy friendships. I'd recommend not seeking out people that you have dated in the past for this, as it rarely works out well. Link to post Share on other sites
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