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My friend feels sad when he sees my texts


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Hey guys,

 

I have a very close guy friend. I'm a girl myself. I'll come right out there and say our friendship isn't normal. It almost verges on a relationship except we aren't going out. We've had sex in the past, I sleep over in his bed sometimes and we cuddle, we share our deepest secrets and we do say we love each other quite regularly.

 

Over the last month, I've been annoyed via text at him every so often. Over the past month, its been about once a week and usually because he forgot something really important. The texts actually aren't mean, they say stuff more along the lines like, "I was really counting on this and feel disappointed." There are no insults and it is usually justified (such as him forgetting to follow up on something that is important and usually inconveniences me). He is forgetful naturally so his behavior isn't atypical, it has just been more annoying than usual the last month due to stresses in my life. I will admit my reaction was harsh and I'm working on it. He knows I've been very stressed the last month with constant overtime and visitors so I've been a bit more annoyed (just via text). When we talk on the phone or hang out this never happens at all. We get along great and communicate very well in person and on the phone. If I bring up annoying stuff in person it is usually followed up with laughter, playfulness and a plan to move forward but via text it just comes off as harsh.

 

However, last weekend he told me that he feels dread and severe anxiety whenever he receives texts. It's been a result of my getting annoyed via text at him. He says that whenever he gets a text, he starts feeling anxiety, and even more anxiety when he discovers its from me. This makes me feel horrible. I've apologized, he's been very understanding and admits his own issues as well, and we had an amazing day together. But now I feel horrible. What I should do? I absolutely have not texted him since he told me and I'm not sure how to proceed. Do I need to give him space for a few weeks? It makes me feel terrible that he associates a text from me with anxiety and dread.

Edited by kumar123
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Sounds to me like he does have feelings for you. You might not see this, but you are in a relationship with him, the reason he's stressed is he's feelings for you are causing him anxiety and not being with you properly must be making him insecure...

If it is as simple as texts upsetting him, then don't send them, call him...

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