My friends ex-boyfriend

[amkxoxo]

I have this good girl friend. She and I were roommates and now we live in separate places but keep in touch. Our last year living together things were a little sensitive. She was in a toxic relationship, where he didn’t give her any of his time, and she was frustrated and constantly chasing him around. I on the other hand, was around as much because I was newly infatuated with a boy I had met and he and I spent a lot of time together. I barely ever dated and was very excited for this new prospect in my life. She and I were together all the time, since her boyfriend was always busy, but once I found a guy I liked, I wasn’t around that much myself. She took this very hard and became bitter towards me, when in reality I think she was having so many problems in her own relationship and was taking it out on me. I felt like she couldn’t be happy for me. If she and I were hanging together and her boyfriend called and wanted to talk, she would immediately dismiss herself from me to run and talk to him when he had time. But when I did this to hang out with my new guy, she would say I was ditching her and get bitter.

 

She always had problems with men. She picked guys who would barely give her the time or attention she deserved. They were nice guys but she was always putting herself out and chasing them trying to make it work. She was never single, running from relationship to relationship. She and this guy didn’t work out. He was all for himself and not for her. Then she met Garrett. It didn’t surprise me she was immediately in another relationship. She did it all the time. Garrett was different. He was a hard worker. He really cared about her. He would go to the grocery store and buy her favorite things to make her happy. If she was stressed at work, she would come home to flowers on the table from him. Garrett treated her the right way. In her usual fashion, my friend moved in with him after a month. She did this all the time with men because her living situation wasn’t the best. I told her I thought it was too early and it would cause tension to live with someone, but she didn’t listen to me. She never listened to me.

 

After about a year my friend started telling me how she was weary on her feelings with Garrett. She said they would fight and how maybe she wasn’t over her ex-boyfriend. I reminded her that this was the same ex who she constantly had to chase and who was all for himself. I also reminded her that it was she who jumped into her relationship with Garrett so quickly and moved in with him. She acknowledged all this but she was still unsure. Then my friend found out she had to have surgery. She would be laid up for a while after and would need help. Suddenly Garrett was the best ever and she stayed with him, though her feelings were “wavering”. This made me a little angry with her. She was using him to help take care of her. She was my friend, but I didn’t agree with her methods. As soon as she was better after her procedure, she broke it off with him. I thought she was crazy. Garrett and his family helped her through her surgery and took care of her and she dumps him right after. They got back together for a small bit, but she has recently dumped him again.

 

They only reason I know she dumped him again was because Garrett called to tell me. I was a little shocked. He called me to talk about my friend. He was asking me if she said anything to me (she hadn’t) or if I knew what was going on in her life. This kind of opened my eyes. She hadn’t really been talking to me or reaching out to me at all. Garrett made me realize this. He also told me hoe he thinks she is depressed and making the wrong decisions in her life. He said he didn’t like the people she hung out with at her job, and that they were bad influences. I knew nothing of this. Garrett thought I knew. He told me he thinks she is closing people off, him and I. He told me how he reached out to me because he thinks I am one of her better friends, and a better person in her life than other people she associates with. I kept telling him how sorry I was that she broke up with him. I told him that thought I support her as a friend, I think she is crazy for leaving him. He was secretly planning her this huge birthday bash and I was helping him. He was the best guy she had been with. My family liked him too. He kept almost trying to ask me if there is a chance for him and my friend to get back together. I told him I didn’t know and since it seemed like she was closing herself off from me in her life, that I would probably never know. I tried to make it neutral. She has been my good friend for years. But I also found him to be a good person and I felt bad. He continued texting me for days and we were talking. I eventually hinted to him that she was my friend first and I didn’t want to hurt her by continuing to talk to him. He wants her to get help. He wanted me to try and reach out to her and help her with her life. He just wants her to be stable and happy. As do I. I tried getting her to come to my house for a weekend or for us to talk more, but she doesn’t seem to care all that much. She works crazy dead end jobs and she has a degree but barely puts any time into trying to work full time in her field. She lives in a very small and jobless area, of which she won’t move out of. I had to move for work, as did many of my friends. I sent her some jobs in her field I saw that were only 40 minutes away, but she claimed they were too far for her. She will never get anywhere, where she resides now. I want to help her, but at the same time I am happy living a state away and I am making a living. I have to focus on my success first.

 

The other day Garrett and I started briefly talking about her again. I told him the best thing he can do is move on. He can’t live waiting for her to come back. It will hurt more waiting around. He now agrees and he is in the bitter “I hate her” stage of the breakup. But now he has been trying to talk to me about normal everyday stuff. Asking to be friends on all these social media platforms. We are already facebook friends. It almost seems like he is flirting with me a little bit. I think it’s very weird. I think he likes that I appreciate all the nice things he has done as a boyfriend. But for one, I am not interested in him. Two, he was serious with my friend, I would never ever date him. He is texting me about how we should get together some time or how I can transition him into new social media platforms.

 

Maybe he is just being nice, because I am so nice. But I am his ex-girlfriends good friend. I don’t think it’s appropriate.

[preraph]

Of course it's not appropriate! Tell him your loyalty is with her and you don't want to be friends with him. All he's doing is trying to get to her through you or make her jealous using you.