treehugger101 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 I have a friend who originally lived in Texas but him and his family moved to California then moved back to Texas. Now my friend is returning to California on his own, but he will be homeless. My parents don't want him and I to hang out because he's homeless and will ask to stay here and we can't have people homeless or family or friends because there's no room. And giving this guy money or anything of that kind isn't going to happen either. He says he wanted to move back here to start a new life so he was going to come down with nothing and just start fresh, get a job, etc. I don't understand why people do this sort of thing to begin with. Why leave one place and come to another place with nothing, how are you going to live your life with nothing? This friend also doesn't have a family, he says his family out in Texas hates him and isn't willing to help him etc. So thats another reason why he's coming back here etc. I don't know what to do here. What would you do? Have you dealt with this sort of thing before? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
applej4 Posted May 25, 2015 Share Posted May 25, 2015 You don’t have to understand him. His homelessness and joblessness is HIS problem. He will either get it together or not. Stop analyzing and wondering about him. He’s a loser. Tell him good luck, and GOODBYE and then move on with your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 If your friend wants to make a big life change, good for him. The problem is he doesn't appear to have a well thought plan which means he has to face the consequences of his actions. The problem here is that when reality finally hits he will go straight to you wanting help. I think your family has a right to worry. If you want to remain friends you need to let him know before he leaves that he has to take care of himself. You can't offer him any financial support or accommodation. I think it is unlikely to deter him however when he gets desperate. He will probably contact you saying how hard it is, he is hungry, can't find work etc.. Are you prepared to deal with feeling guilty and still say no? The fact that his own family refuse to get involved should be a warning sign that he might be trouble. Personally, I would try and scale back my involvement now before he becomes to reliant on you. It is hard to detach from a friend but sometimes it is in your best interest. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Is he a kind person? Was he a good friend while you two were friends before he moved? At least he has a plan to get a job, it's not like he's a bum. And, he's only homeless because he has no where to go to when he moves back, unless I misread, you've made it seem like he's a homeless person and has been living on the streets for a while and moving back he'll still be a homeless street person. Does he do drugs? Is he trouble? Or is it that he's been handed a shi.tty hand in life and struggles? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 He has been homeless before living out on the streets in Texas but right now he is staying at a hotel room until the money he has runs out and he comes out here. He was a good friend while he was out here too. And I have helped him a little bit here and there while he is out there. When he comes here I don't know what I am going to do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 You really can't make a person get it together. It takes a lot for a family to run off a son or daughter. It's usually drugs. If he's the right age he could join the military and have an instant home. Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Lots of people have started a new life with nothing but the willingness to work. If he's reliable and a good worker, you have no cause to worry about him, and he'll be ok. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 My parents don't want him and I to hang out because he's homeless and will ask to stay here and we can't have people homeless or family or friends because there's no room. So your parents would rather have you cut your friend out of your life due to his socioeconomic status rather than have you learn a good lesson in creating healthy boundaries and using the word "no" when asked for favors you can't give? That seems narrow-minded and also kind of cowardly of them. If he asks you or your family for anything, you can simply say "No, I'm sorry I can't help." There's nothing wrong with that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Yes I plan to just tell him no if he does ask for anything. And him joining he military won't work, he has a lot of mental issues. Link to post Share on other sites
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