why do ppl chase others so avidly?

[darkmoon]

every so often, i meet somebody, a new person, and do not get a good vibe from them so i do not want to get involved

 

the mystery is why they persist in sending friendly signals, put-on smiles, as in smiles held for as long as it takes to catch my eye, rather than a shared spontaneous happiness, sometimes it goes on for months

 

once my gut warns me, i back away, no matter how pleasantly they act, i see an unnatural obsession, at least to an extent

 

the usual hints, closing my eyes at them, turning my head away if i catch them looking at me... get ignored by them

 

are you an avid chaser?

 

are you a chased person, who like me, wants to choose who she lets into her life or not let in?

 

these chasers have been women chasing me who is a woman too, they are not gay, so it is not about crushes

Edited May 11, 2015 by darkmoon

[Arabella]

I don't quite understand your aloof attitude. The behavior you're describing is downright rude, in my opinion. You can choose to be friends (or not) with someone without treating them like they're beneath you.

 

From the information you've given us, I don't get that these women are "chasing" you. I think they are simply friendly and happy people and they continue to be so in spite of you.

[madjac74]

So I guess he has never had a romantic prospect become a good friend. It is sad he limits himself so much

[darkmoon]

i had misgivings about them, bad vibes, though i give everybody a chance, including them....but

 

they were not nice to me, and not nice to some of my friends who they were rude to and who warned me about them

 

....then they decided they wanted to know me

Edited May 11, 2015 by darkmoon

[preraph]

I think what you need to do is be very firm and tell them no and block them if you're not interested. For obsessive people anything less than that is a "maybe."

[darkmoon]

she is back and planning to bait me her and friend, two women

 

she has done it once aleady, stalking me in the cafe i go to

 

the more i react to her bait the worse she will be, and i told her to eff off which she sees as an in, and her freind too, two jokers

[anika99]

she is back and planning to bait me her and friend, two women

 

she has done it once aleady, stalking me in the cafe i go to

 

the more i react to her bait the worse she will be, and i told her to eff off which she sees as an in, and her freind too, two jokers

 

 

I have no idea what you are talking about. The above has nothing to do with your opening post which was all about getting a bad vibe from someone as soon as you meet them and them continuing to be friendly and ignoring your rude behavior. Now you are talking about someone who you say was not nice to you or your friends which is a direct contradiction to your first post. I don't know what this thread is about.

[darkmoon]

the someone is baiting me on purpose, her and her freind

 

if you are not sympathetic, please go, i have enough to worry about am in a stressful situation

[preraph]

I can understand being leery of persistent people who aren't taking a hint. To me, it would signal they are either social climbing or too needy or have some other agenda, like trying to get close to someone you know or trying to get a favor in some way. No matter what the circumstance, if you've openly shown disinterest and someone persists, that is reason enough to be leery of them. They could have a crush on some guy you know and just be using you. They could be obsessive about someone you know and just be looking for some way to get information about them, like stalkers will do. Whether you're young or old, they could be trying to climb a social ladder or advance themselves in their career or whatever.

 

There's a million reasons they could be doing it. And everything they do is okay up to the point when you blatently show you are not interested, decline invitations, tell them no thanks. After that, more than one more try is a red flag.