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Is my female friend playing mind games and should I confront her?


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I'm friends with this girl from college. She's 20 and i'm 27 and for some reason she likes hanging out with me. At the start things good between us. I didn't even view her as a girl sort of thing. Then she started randomly telling me she doesn't fancy me, I'm not her type and she'd like me if I was taller (I'm not short). I told her I like girls with pony tails and then she gets one. I told her this girl was wearing these certain pants that I like and she said she wouldn't be caught dead in them but next thing I know she's wearing them. She joked about marriage and kids with me but on the other hand she's always talking about men and kisses them in front of me on a night out. It seems like she wants me to like her. Normally I'd knock a friendship like this on the head but she was a really really good friend of mine for years and we shared things we haven't shared with anyone. We even shared a bed once out of necessity (I didn't try it on).

 

This is getting a bit much for me and as a result I have cut contact. The thing is she's leaving the country soon so I'm wondering should I confront her on the mind games? I would like to remain friends but I want to know what she's playing games with me for.

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I don't think it's games. I think she's one of those people who is too easily influenced by those around her. Insecure. She may not have a real sense of style or taste or preference, so she uses what others say they like or probably wears designer clothes when she can afford them.

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devilish innocent

I see a few options.

-She enjoys getting attention from a guy.

-She likes you but is too scared to tell you.

-She likes you and thinks acting uninterested is the best way to get you to like her.

-She's uncertain about her feelings so hints at things but doesn't want to come out and say them.

-She only sees you as a friend and is so comfortable around you, she doesn't realize the things she's saying are awkward.

 

I would say that ignoring her behavior sends the message that you're not falling for any of it. However, if it's to the point where the friendship is going to end otherwise, you've got nothing to lose by trying to talk with her about it before giving up on her. Instead of accusing her, you might want to ask why she's been saying and doing those things recently. Then you can tell her you want to stay friends, but those things are making it harder to be a friend to her. Good luck!

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I see a few options.

-She enjoys getting attention from a guy.

-She likes you but is too scared to tell you.

-She likes you and thinks acting uninterested is the best way to get you to like her.

-She's uncertain about her feelings so hints at things but doesn't want to come out and say them.

-She only sees you as a friend and is so comfortable around you, she doesn't realize the things she's saying are awkward.

 

I would say that ignoring her behavior sends the message that you're not falling for any of it. However, if it's to the point where the friendship is going to end otherwise, you've got nothing to lose by trying to talk with her about it before giving up on her. Instead of accusing her, you might want to ask why she's been saying and doing those things recently. Then you can tell her you want to stay friends, but those things are making it harder to be a friend to her. Good luck!

 

Thanks the thing is she's not my type and there's a recent tension between us. We shared a bed but I didnt make a move or anything. She slapped my bottom though. She also said the best sort of relationships are the ones where people are friends before relationships.

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whichwayisup

You're 27, she's 20. You two weren't really 'friends', seems like if anything it was a flirty-flirty thing and you were buddies. The games, so stupid. True friends who respect one another don't play games.

 

Let her go, don't try to salvage a friendship that really wasn't going anywhere.

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