Emotionally stressed

[CheskaOX]

I have had a male friend for nine years, I had always liked liked him but I couldn't tell him how I felt because I insecure and I thought I wasn't good enough for him because of some issues I had dealt with of my own. I told him two years ago that I was attracted to him where he said he was too but We couldn't work out cause I was moving out of NYC. So he told me that we could not both work out due to the long distance cause he's from NJ even if I lived back home it still wouldn't work out. Long story short, he tells me he was overshadowed by my fascination towards my ex where We all hung out in the City at a bar which was three years ago and I did things that I shouldn't had done three years ago with my ex which my ex male best friend knew about. (Since we tell each other everything)

 

 

Last year in September and of now this year February, We been flirting a lot and then days before my birthday even more flirting. Then two weeks after my birthday week, I had asked him lets hook up where he told me he can't because he has been dating someone for a while where I was hurt but moved on. Then by the end of February, he text me silly names and I did it back as to I asked him a question regarding why he held my hand and tried to dry hump me? Where that happen two years ago but I never had the heart to ask him cause I was shy and his response was mean where he said are we unable to maintain a friendship? I said were fine, as to I left him alone and haven't heard from him since early March regarding of me visiting in town and lets chill, he tells me maybe. So I sense a vibe and asked my mom for advice of his attitude and she said be upfront with him because honesty is indeed the best policy and I did. When I called him, my number went straight to voicemail where I was like ?

 

So my vibe comes back and says I'm blocked. So I confronted him about his attitude and me being blocked.

 

 

He tells me, "I know what your trying to do, stop it. Don't play dumb either. there's a reason your phone goes to vm, and I know its you with the blocked number calling. You Obviously can't handle beings friends so obviously we can't be anything. no more calls or emails, if I'm ready to be friends ill call you. No more drama." I'm like I only called your number blocked once, this is dumb and whats the reason? Then he said, "I'm being nasty because not only did you NOT stop with the explicit emails, but you sent one 2 days ago detailing every little bit of sexual contact we've ever had. this is 4 freaking weeks after i told you to stop. Sorry, but the coldness is justified, because you don't listen, obviously because you don't take me seriously. now stop, seriously stop." So I left him alone and rethought about how he said I was being explicit and the only time I mentioned explicit was when I told him when he told me he was dating some girl where I felt hurt and regretful of flirting also being flashy with him during Skype at the time without knowing he was dating some girl.

 

So I emailed him, saying "You don't have to reply back or anything but please understand that I'm sorry that I'm acting like this. It hurts me because I ruined everything from the beginning and of now, I feel like **** and you don't care which I can tell and understand from everything. I'm not a bad person, I'm really not. You're a really great friend, along with an talented musician and etc. I personally feel like **** because this is not how friends behave or get into arguments. Their supposed to love and care try their best for one another like a family member. I'm sorry that I asked why you held my hand and etc; no matter how many times I said I'm sorry is because I mean it out of sincere because I wouldn't and that would be rude. Speaking of rude, I'm acting as if I'm a child not an adult. I never had friends because people took advantage of me from young and now, like I said you were my only friend and loosing you now makes me emotional because I really love you not in love but love you and care. I just broke my phone today because I was stressing myself out. I'm sorry." Then, he replies saying "Your crazy, your making up **** that isn't true. I tell u to stop what ur doing, you ignore me and ramp it up, seriously leave me the **** alone now I'm just pissed. You live in your own world with your own completely innacurate version of events. Your making it worse...STTTOOOPPPP CALLLING TEXTING AND EMAILING ME HOLY ****" where mind you I was drunk off a glass of wine that evening from dinner of my step dad birthday and I had called him feeling sad since I sense something going on and We must talk our friendship out. Where I read his email and reply back, "How am I making **** up? You clearly don't know my teenager life was like other than associating with *******s in the past and yes I had suffered from legit social anxiety from being bullied and I never had friends because I wasn't what they call pretty or just about anything in common with their interest. I regret ****ing James, I regret every guy I ever encountered with and I told you I did not bring up anything other than me asking you why did you held my hand and dry hump. Dry humping is not sexual, it's playful the same with anything without any emotion of sexual. I brought up the detailed Skype session cause I was hurt at the time when I said I regret it nothing else nothing more. I'm here to apologize and explain to you how hurt I am and clearly you don't care about how I feel let along but you, I apologize and still I feel bad for ****ing James behind your back but at least I told you because I care about you." Then he tells me, "ok your an *******, here you go again. i don't even wanna be ****ing friends anymore. i was going to leave the communication channels open in case one day you got it, and we could be friends again, but now your on the block list. i wont get any of your communication. good job, ****ing stalker." So I got mad and called him, he starts cursing me out more in emails saying "I ****ing hate you ten times, where he said I'm harassing him." I don't get how and what...

 

Long story short, I'm emotional where my cousin got involved and got mad at him for disrespecting her and me. ????

[kendahke]

Your best course of action is to leave him alone. Seriously. He's at the wall with this.

[CheskaOX]

Kendahke,

 

It gotten worse where he told me in a text someone reported him in his job as a rapist or murder where he assumes it was me or my cousin but honestly I don't even know where his job is located at. I tried to call him back from his cell and notice he either change his number or disconnected his phones to tell him no one called his job not even my cousin.

 

This was the last time, he spoke with my cousin.

 

 

Bill: I have a life, i do my own thing, shes out of it, im too old for baby games. Tell her to **** off, she's calling me.

 

i have never dealt with such immaturity in my life before. i was the best friend she ever had and she ruined it out of her own selfishness. no more, no mas.

 

done, finito, over.

 

 

My cousin said: Listen don't try to disrespect me bcuz you don't know **** about me. You have a problem with her and all I said to stop ****ing with her. I don't give a **** if you don't scare easy I'm don't scare I ****ing do. So stop with the ****ing **** because you don't want to see my bad side. If you was so mature then you should have told her how you felt and stop being a pussy. I'm trying g to be nice and give you the benefit of the doubt but trying to be an ******* with don't try because you will get burn. I don't have time for your pussy games you look like you have a bigger pussy then my cousin. So back the **** off. We done text me or call my cousin you will have serious problems you dumb mother ****er. Pussy ass bitch.

 

 

Bill: **** you, your on block now too.

 

 

 

Honestly, I dont know how I'm an ******* along with being selfish. The night of the arguement I called him where I wanted to make amends and figure crap out.

[CheskaOX]

Kendahke,

 

It gotten worse where he told me in a text someone reported him in his job as a rapist or murder where he assumes it was me or my cousin but honestly I don't even know where his job is located at. I tried to call him back from his cell and notice he either change his number or disconnected his phones to tell him no one called his job not even my cousin.

 

This was the last time, he spoke with my cousin.

 

 

Bill: I have a life, i do my own thing, shes out of it, im too old for baby games. Tell her to **** off, she's calling me.

 

i have never dealt with such immaturity in my life before. i was the best friend she ever had and she ruined it out of her own selfishness. no more, no mas.

 

done, finito, over.

 

 

My cousin said: Listen don't try to disrespect me bcuz you don't know **** about me. You have a problem with her and all I said to stop ****ing with her. I don't give a **** if you don't scare easy I'm don't scare I ****ing do. So stop with the ****ing **** because you don't want to see my bad side. If you was so mature then you should have told her how you felt and stop being a pussy. I'm trying g to be nice and give you the benefit of the doubt but trying to be an ******* with don't try because you will get burn. I don't have time for your pussy games you look like you have a bigger pussy then my cousin. So back the **** off. We done text me or call my cousin you will have serious problems you dumb mother ****er. Pussy ass bitch.

 

 

Bill: **** you, your on block now too.

 

 

 

Honestly, I dont know how I'm an ******* along with being selfish. The night of the arguement I called him where I wanted to make amends and figure crap out.

 

 

Your best course of action is to leave him alone. Seriously. He's at the wall with this.