groovybaby33 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 2 years ago I ended a friendship with a close friend as I was tired of bending over backwards for her and felt like I was used and it felt the friendship revolved around the time that suited her availability. She had a tendency to disappear for a couple of months with no phone contact and then reappear again so she was never available when I needed her. I got to a point where enough was enough. This January she got in touch with me after 2 years and told me she is getting married and would like me to attend. She said she hoped she didn't annoy me too much and she would like to meet up. So I gave her a second chance and met up with her hoping she's changed. She told me it was sad for her to lose a best friend and now she'd like me to be an important part of her wedding and be a brides maid. She also told me to write a speech for her. Her wedding is in mid April and the last time I saw her was in January and i've only spoken to her a couple of times on the phone at the beginning of February. I've tried to message her but all she ever has to say is how she had to do a 9 hr shift and how she's about to go to work and she hates her job. I understand that her job may be stressful but she does get days off. I don't feel comfortable going to her wedding let alone do a speech and I'm at a point where I don't want to be her friend again. Now she's asked me to meet up with her 2 weeks before her wedding and I don't even want to do that! I feel it will be another opportunity for her to moan about how busy she's been and act like I'm obliged to do things for her because I'm her 'best friend'. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 She is now avoiding you, sounds like, so it's the perfect opportunity to tell her no. If she was really going to have you be in the wedding, she'd have been helping get your dress and all that. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 My guess is she didn't have other friends to turn to but felt she needed a certain number of bridesmaids. Tell her no to the speech. You're not obligated to give a speech just because you're a bridesmaid. The only thing you're obligated to do is stand besides her during the wedding day (and go to the dress rehersal if there is one). I believe in England the bride pays for the bridesmaids dresses so you don't even need to worry about that. I'd say it would be fine to drop out of the wedding except that with just two weeks left, it could put her in bind. Just suck it up for those few hours and don't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
lilmiscassie92 Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 I agree with devilish. Don't back out two weeks before her wedding. It sounds like she only likes to talk to you to vent or be negative.. If that's not someone you wish to be around, I'd say slowly cut ties after her wedding. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted April 5, 2015 Share Posted April 5, 2015 After two years of no contact and then to suddenly call upon you to not only attend as a bridesmaid, but request you give a speech screams self-centered, especially given that you have tried to message her several times and she's too busy to give you the time of day. I imagine she has alienated several people if she has treated them as she has you and I believe she is grasping at straws to boost her appearance in front of family and friends, though I doubt she has many true friends. Personally, I'd find it hard to accept a bridesmaid position and impossible to give a valid speech. No doubt a lot of things have changed in the past two years. Do you really know her now? Sure, you know of her, but that doesn't mean you know much about the person she has become. If she can't make time for you now, do you really think she's going to stick around and be a friend after she no longer needs anything from you? Link to post Share on other sites
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