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Am I a sucker for her?


H2ThePower3

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Well I met this girl at some gathering, and before I knew it she is attached to a friend of mine. At first it wasn't really a problem, because I never thought anything would happen between us. Although her bf is a friend of mine she seem to talk to me alot about her relations with her bf and how is was going sour at times and all. At one point she started calling and talking to me alot, she even asked me what I think of her but, I just said something casual and changed the topic. She then ask me for advice and stuff on how she could be a better girlfriend towards my friend and if there is anything in her that she need to improvise. Well anyway I gave her a few tips and stuff and then I just continued my relations with her like normal friends would. Eventually we started to spend more time together like going shopping and stuff, dinner together and before I knew it I was falling for her. I knew I shouldn't even suppose to have feelings for her,because afterall she is still attached to my friend.

 

Then one day while we were in a conversation I just looked into her eyes and started to daydream. She must have noticed something, because soon afterwards she was asking me what I was thinking. At that time I really wanted to tell her what I felt for her, but I was afraid it would just complicate the situation. Eventually I made my up my mind to tell her what I felt for her, because I didn't want to live with the regret of not telling her later on. I don't know what made me do that, because even though I had feelings for her I didn't hope she would break up with her boyfriend and get together with me. I even told her that although I have feelings for her I still hope that we could remain friends and maintain the current relationship as friends.

 

Anyway soon afterwards she started to talk to me less as if she was avoiding me. It didn't matter to me, because I have had experience where you tell someone you have feelings for them and they reject you and start to avoid you. But then at times when she has noone to talk to she would still call me, and we would still have our conversation. Or if she needed a favour she would ask me and if I said yes she would just say thanks and then leave.

 

Now the real question is my other friends thinks that I am being a sucker for her, and that she is only using me as a tool/puppet to get things done. I don't understand why they say that, but can't say that they are entirely wrong either. Because I have seen cases like this where you have feelings for someone and usually only you are blind to their faults and flaws. They even told me to just ignore her and to reject her if she asked for favours.

 

So what should I do?

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your friends are correct and also very observant/insightful

 

do what they say

 

oh, and stop being such a "nice guy". Women don't sleep with "nice guys"

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correction--women do sleep with nice guys...

 

until they get bored and sleep with a bad guy as an anti-dote for the mundane.

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ino its hard because uve got feelings for ur mates girlfriend but id push ur feelings aside as hard as it sounds and move on plenty more fish in the sea.i think shes taking advantage of you and perhaps in some ways leading you on buy constantly turning to for your advice does your friend know that shes going to you for advice and she is the one telling you their relationship problems shouldnt it be the other way round and him being the one telling you their relationshiop issues!!ino if my boyfriend was going to my mate and ringin her up about our relationship i woulnt be very happy and wouldnt put up with it jus as i think he'd be the same if i was to do it.think about it,you may lose a mate if your not to careful!

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Yes I am trying to push the feelings I have for her aside but I really have no idea what to do. Is she taking me for a sucker? Deep down inside me I hope that she is not, but reality I still do not know. Becuase she is my friends girlfriend that is why I decided it would be better if we remained friends. But I really do not want to be thought of as a sucker, let alone get used by as a puppet by someone who I have feelings for. I find it really hard to turn her down when she ask me for favours and stuff, unless of course I am really busy on that day. And she knows I have feelings for her, though I don't know if my friend know about it. But I don't seem to see a problem with that since I haven't betray his trust in anyway whatsoever. Maybe I did spend sometime with her, had dinner, flirt around and stuff but that was all. It's not that I am sleeping with her or anything. Anyway the real question now is she taking me for a sucker just because she knows I like her. If that is really the case then I don't think the current relationship as friends is worth keeping either.

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I'm in a similar situation. I met a woman this summer, but the relationship didn't take off until she needed help moving. After that we became close friends, talking almost every day. Then recently I needed someone to talk to about some problems I was having, so I reached out to her - I thought I could - only to find she's not there for me. She was too "busy" this past week. Funny but she had been happy to see me when SHE wanted something.

 

I don't want to believe I've been a sucker either but...

 

I guess it's true - nice guys are too boring. We're dependable and always there when they need something, and don't ask for anything in return.

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