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My Female friend jealous of my dating?


MagicRat09

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So there's a girl that I'm great friends with that I fell madly for, I (rather foolishly) lavished her with attention and we've spent a lot of time together. But she put me in friendzone so I've been trying to move on.

 

I met a new girl who's great, and I brought her to a party. My friend showed up and when she saw I brought someone, got really strange, mocking me openly for "looking to get some" as she put it.

 

My date got a minute to chat with her,and told me my the other girl was really nasty to her. "I think she likes you," my date told me.

 

I have yet to address this with my friend, I let her make her snide comments and stayed cool.

 

So, twist. Now what? Does she like me after all, or does she just want the attention?

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edited at OP's request.~T
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So there's a girl that I'm great friends with that I fell madly for, I (rather foolishly) lavished her with attention and we've spent a lot of time together. But she put me in friendzone so I've been trying to move on.

 

I met a new girl who's great, and I brought her to a party. My friend showed up and when she saw I brought someone, got really strange, mocking me openly for "looking to get some" as she put it.

 

My date got a minute to chat with her,and told me my the other girl was really nasty to her. "I think she likes you," my date told me.

 

I have yet to address this with my friend, I let her make her snide comments and stayed cool.

 

So, twist. Now what? Does she like me after all, or does she just want the attention? /QUOTE]

 

Quite frankly, I would have told her "when you had the chance, you passed. You lose. If it didn't bother you that I moved on, you wouldn't have spent your energy trying to be nasty".

 

Your getting laid is none of her business.

 

At.

 

All.

 

I also would never have left my date alone to be cornered by someone who just previously said something snide and disrespectful like that to me.

 

Whatever her problem was that night, you need to make it clear to her that you expect her to apologize to you and your date and then to put down your friendship with her. She just punked you and now feels that she can punk you in front of any other woman you bring to a social event where she is.

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Thanks for your feedback. Actually the "get laid" thing came later in the evening, after the initial meeting, sorry to blur the timeline.

 

 

But yeah I was shocked at the ferocity of it.

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Anyone who sabotages your love life is NOT your friend.

 

Period.

 

Don't be swayed by excuses/justifications.

 

Please don't become one of those unfortunate , overly forgiving

persons who hangs onto a friendship out of a misguided sense of loyalty,

for someone who's already demonstrated that she'd throw you under the bus in a heartbeat.

 

Being nasty to your date, as soon as you were out of earshot is deplorable behavior. (I've been on the receiving end of this myself, with a female friend of my significant other) It's nothing more than an attempt to covertly undermine, & play divide & conquer.

 

(Take a mometn to really think about the position that put your date into. She was mistreated & had to gamble with whether you'd believe her, OR your old friend...)

 

That friendship is past its expiration date.

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imtooconfused

That's the risk she played by putting you in the friendzone. She put you on a second tier to other men (or women) but still enjoyed the attention and affection that you showed her. Now that you have found someone that really cares for you, she recognizes what she has lost.

 

You are probably asking these questions because you still have feelings for your friend. If it were me, I would not look back. She showed you both personas, the "I'm not that into you" persona and the "I'm gonna be a bitch because you found someone else you care about" persona. How many more personas does she have?

 

I know that if she were a real friend, she would be happy that you have found someone with whom to have a sincere relationship. All the rest are just mind games and you don't need that in your life.

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But yeah I was shocked at the ferocity of it.

 

In my experience, a lot of men would prefer o cut off their right nut rather than believe that a so called "friend" of theirs is capable of being nasty and territorial towards a woman they are in the early stages of getting to know/dating. Let me tell you: your female friend needs checking, s0n. Don't leave your date alone at a party when your female friend is prowling, especially the friends that didn't want to be with you, but wanted to friendzone you.

 

My ex had such a friend and it was years before he finally saw the truth about her and her nastiness. And she was supposedly happily married. She never liked that I was with him because she had friends she wanted him to be with. When she finally put her behind in the air, I told him that what she did was very disrespectful to our relationship and that I had done nothing to warrant her doing what she did (it's a long story). In fact, he had to agree with me that if the tables were turned, he would have been livid with me.

 

When he called her to tell her that what she did wasn't cool and that he felt I was owed an apology, OMG, she unzipped the lizard on him. He put down that friendship right then and there, and they'd been friends longer than he and I had known each other at that time. I was shocked, as I thought he was going to do what he'd done in the past. Once he opened his eyes, he began seeing clearly other areas in which she took advantage of their friendship to get free work out of him that she would have had to pay someone else to do (PR work for a line of children's learning videos). He finally discovered what I'd known all along: she really wasn't his friend.

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My friend is not well in more ways then one. The impulses of self-protection and compassion are having a war in my head.

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elliecoffee

I think she just wants attention to boost her ego and that's it. I don't believe she likes you and even if she did, there's no reason to be rude with someone you just met. Even if she has problems and is not well, she should rant to you only not to those around you because they're not responsible or related to her in any way. Not that you are responsible for her well being, but it would make more sense her telling you what's bothering her.

 

Anyway, I think that, even if you don't love this new girl you just met, you should talk to your friend an draw a line. It is not acceptable for her to behave like this and you shouldn't put up with it.

 

xx

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She's the one who made the decision in the first place. Just another case of doesn't want you and doesn't want anyone else to have you because she wants all the attention. I had a gay boyfriend for four years. I knew he was gay way before he did and told him so. Besides being gay, he was very buttoned up sexually to the point he had scary dreams about it. Probably from his parents and religion combined. Anyway, I was sort of killing time with him for a companion and wasn't out looking for trouble, but I had a couple of LDRs who would come in town once in a blue moon, and I didn't hide any of it from him and he got very hurt when I let him know I'd been with one. I don't know how long he expected me to hang in there without sex, but.....don't enable her behavior. Just be blunt about it. No point hoping she's changed her mind on any permanent basis. She's just got her cake and eating it too right now . I'd sure have a word about her being mean to the woman. That's going to wreck, every relationship you have, and you very well might need to go NC with this woman to stop her from ruining your love life for you.

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Thanks all for your feedback. I haven't heard from the friend nor have I reached out to discuss. I feel that confrontation is pointless due to the nature of her personality, which shows signs of immaturity and perhaps even Narcissistic Disorder.

 

And yet I still feel concern and yes attraction, so those are the issues I really need to deal with.

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If she's narcissistic, you can't ever expect her to behave reasonably and see your side of it before she sees her own side of it. I have a close friend who is a genuine narcissist. You have to set firm boundaries and just not budge and then she may at least come to the point of, well, he won't put up with this. Refuse to let her meet your girlfriends, period. Keep her out of that side of your life. You do need to get over loving her though because unless you are a very grounded guy who doesn't have much in the way of needs, being married to one means them always getting their way and still being pissed off about everything. It's not a two-way street with them.

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Thanks all for your feedback. I haven't heard from the friend nor have I reached out to discuss. I feel that confrontation is pointless due to the nature of her personality, which shows signs of immaturity and perhaps even Narcissistic Disorder.

 

And yet I still feel concern and yes attraction, so those are the issues I really need to deal with.

 

 

Cut her loose...she will only continue to be a source of drama & stress

in your life.

 

And please don't minimize how crappy it was of her to engage in behind the back sabotaging....that was a purely self-serving action on her part.

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If you are passive and conflicted when a 'friend' of your disses your GF, then you don't have any business dating and putting innocent girls in that line of fire.

 

You have to decide what type of BF you are going to be and live up to it.

 

Think of it like this; if your sister went on a date with a guy and he not only let this happen to her without speaking up but also felt conflicted and still horny for the mean girl, what would you think of him? He's a douchebag right?

 

Well, no matter HOW you want to think of yourself in your mind, you ARE the result of your actions. In your mind you are just an innocent guy, done wrong by a girl that friend-zoned you, but you are still so caring towards her because you know her personality and you have the good feelings of compassion towards her because you really aren't a bad guy.

 

NOPE.

 

sorry, but douchebag.

 

I don't mean to call you names to get you angry, I'm just calling you out on this situation so you can look at yourself.

 

Decide what kind of guy you are and then follow through. Call out your 'friend' and then drop her when she doesn't 'get' it. Believe me, she'll get it but be defensive because she doesn't give two ****s about your feelings, she only cares about her feelings. Her actions ARE who she is; which by the way, show she's really not your friend.

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