Can I be his friend?

[Atticus9292012]

I dated this guy for a short while. I fell pretty hard for him, but my divorce was fresh. It was terrible timing. fast forward a few months. We were able to be friends somewhat. My feelings would creep back in and well we have history so there is a level of comfort. I'd get confused.. The advice I have gotten from this very cite was to basically leave it alone and move on. I did. That's when things got weird. He started texting me and calling me a lot. We started hanging out all the time. Talking all the time. We have this connection. We can go lots of time without talking or seeing each other and its like no time has passed. Anyway, it became more like dates. He'd buy my drinks and dinner. I spent so much time thinking of him as a friend and just enjoying his company. Well, he started getting really flirty. He'd put.his hand on my leg when sitting together. He'd cuddle with me....looking back I feel stupid, but I seriously just dismissed this as comfort. Well, he did something i couldnt ignore. He came over one night. We were drinking, talking and listening to music. Most of our hangouts consisted of this. Well, he kept playing with the neckline of my shirt and we were standing up at one point and he puts his hands on my butt two different times and like pulled me close squuezing my arse. I was shocked. I was like um "did you just grab my a**?" He said yeah and I can do it again if you want. I just laughed. He said " yknow we have had sex before" (whichh we have)...I said "I'm quite aware." I was a little tipsy, but there were other things sinaid. He left a couple hours later. I woke up the next morning and knew I had to comfort him about this. What on earth is his motive? Well, I chickened out. He came over the next two nights and I said nothing. We hung out like nothing happened. Well, I finally went over to his house and confronted him. He basically apologized profusely. He had no explanation for his bbehavior. It made me really angry. I basically sent him an email telling him Ihad ffeelings for.him and I felt like he would have used me for sex with no regard for my feelings. He never responded. I caught him driving by my house and he'd randomly show up at places he knows I frequent...and would stare at me from.accross the room. After about two months n/c he came to a bar I frequent. He cornered me and made me talk to him. I mean i wanted to....he begged me to come over. I declined. I had too much to drink a week ago and texted him and told.him I missed him. He said we should get together one time. I do miss his friendship, but i am not sure I really can be his friend. My ex husband is a cop and was involved in a shooting and he talked to me for an hour the other night on the phone while I cried about how scared I am my son won't have a dad and he kept telling me it would all be okay....he has moments like that where he is awesome. Can I get past my feelings ever or is it even worth it?

He has done countless favors for me. Over the many months of friendship it didn't get weird till the end.

Edited March 4, 2015 by Atticus9292012

[whichwayisup]

Stay away from this guy. Right now you need to focus on your kids and being a good mom and making sure your ex husband is still involved when it comes to your kids. They need both parents!

 

Rely on your women friends if you need to talk or need comfort. Turning to that guy or any guy right now would be a mistake.