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should I try again?


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Old friend, almost 2 decades and had a falling out.

He said he no longer wishes to be friends.

I wrote about 10 times, his response was steady, he wished me well, would always love me, but he was moving on.

We did struggle and bicker at times.

It did effect friendship but I had no idea how much, or that either of us would walk for good.

I feel unwelcome to write, feel he is just done, but Id really like to try again to repair it with a nice lighthearted message.

Im afraid he might feel like "I said Im done, move on" and it might annoy him Im not respectful of letting go.

But in anger and hurt I said never come back, meaning if he cooled off or changed his mind he may still not write cause I put a nail in the coffin so to speak.

Its hurting me so much this has happened.

I wanna fix it, should I write?

Please help me.

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Old friend, almost 2 decades and had a falling out.

He said he no longer wishes to be friends.

I wrote about 10 times, his response was steady, he wished me well, would always love me, but he was moving on.

We did struggle and bicker at times.

It did effect friendship but I had no idea how much, or that either of us would walk for good.

I feel unwelcome to write, feel he is just done, but Id really like to try again to repair it with a nice lighthearted message.

Im afraid he might feel like "I said Im done, move on" and it might annoy him Im not respectful of letting go.

But in anger and hurt I said never come back, meaning if he cooled off or changed his mind he may still not write cause I put a nail in the coffin so to speak.

Its hurting me so much this has happened.

I wanna fix it, should I write?

Please help me.

 

No. Leave him be. If he has given you every indication that any further correspondence by you is unwelcome, then you need to take that hint and leave him alone.

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the time to have had a conversation about repairing your relationship came way before now. All actions have consequences and the consequences of too much bickering and struggle is to lose whatever is causing that stress and strife in one's life.

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If this was a longtime friend, such discussions should take place in person, face to face.

 

If a pen pal, you wrote and got a response. Accept it. For now, things are what they are. Hopefully, for both of you, a long life will bring more opportunities and choices.

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I moved a few months back so we cant talk face to face.

I thought if you value some one you fight for a friendship because you've invested so much yiu have to try. Seems so senseless to throw it all away without effort to fix it. I dont want to force or beg, but Id like to open the door and attempt to bridge the gap.

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TBH, I have friends all over the world and, if an old friend and I were having an issue, anywhere in the world is one sleep away and we'd have the talk face to face. I can think of one friend, right now, whom I've done that for, and who lives across the country. In his case it was because he had cancer and it was a support mission, but the same premise applies. A few hours on a plane carries an impact that words on a page never can.

 

That said, there is value in space and, based on what has been posted, that's what the friend apparently seeks so OK, that's a valid choice and I'd respect that. Part of being a friend is respecting friend's choices, even if in disagreement.

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He said he no longer wishes to be friends.

I wrote about 10 times, his response was steady, he wished me well, would always love me, but he was moving on.

 

Let it go and leave him alone. He ended the friendship, doesn't want to be friends anymore. He wished you well, said he'd always love you but he is moving on. I suggest you do the same.

 

IF he changes his mind in the future, he'll contact you. Until then respect his wishes.

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I moved a few months back so we cant talk face to face.

I thought if you value some one you fight for a friendship because you've invested so much yiu have to try. Seems so senseless to throw it all away without effort to fix it. I dont want to force or beg, but Id like to open the door and attempt to bridge the gap.

 

You cannot force someone if they aren't interested, especially since he was the one who ended it. For whatever reason, he chose to cut you out of his life and as painful as that is for you, it is something you need to accept. He chose not to fix things and sort it out. Whatever his reasons were/are, are valid to him and they were enough to make him want to walk away.

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