Hija77 Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 I'll try to keep this short and sweet. I have a close circle of friends. 2 of them got married about 10 years ago. The husband has always been a cheater, but recently he's gotten involved in a long term affair. Obviously, their marriage is jacked up right now, and they're both talking about divorce. I found out about his affair recently, and don't know what to do. When we were in college, I outed him for cheating on her. She stayed with him, and neither of them spoke to me for months! I'm not see what the right thing to do is. They have 3 kids together!! I don't want to be responsible for blowing up a bomb in their household!! Does that make me a lousy friend? By the way, as far as our friends go, I'm the last one to hear about this. So basically NO ONE has her back...BUT, he's cheated so may times, and she's never left! Is it worth it to tell her? Should I just stay out of it? That's what I'm leaning towards, but I feel like a huge jerk about it. Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 If you have proof, let her know. She could be exposed to stds in addition to all the pain. You could send her the information to her work in a plain envelope or to one of her siblings, if you want to remain anon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 I don't have any proof. I just know that he's openly admitted it to some of our friends. I know the other woman's name, but that's basically it. I feel badly for the OW, too. She's half our age, and clearly dumber than a box of rocks when it comes to men. One of our friends mentioned to him that their was a possibility he could catch an STD and give it to his wife. His response was that he'd taken the other girl's virginity, so that wasn't an issue. Can you imagine?!?!?!? SMH. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted January 22, 2015 Share Posted January 22, 2015 Look, there are plenty of women who choose to look the other way. She's one. You told her once and she punished you for it. There is absolutely NO reason to tell her again. She already knows he's a cheater and she'll leave if and when she's ready. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Hija77 Posted January 22, 2015 Author Share Posted January 22, 2015 Thanks for the advice! I think I'll keep my mouth shut for now. It would be his word against mine, anyway. Besides, I heard about the cheating from other friends in our circle. Saying something would implicate them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Thanks for the advice! I think I'll keep my mouth shut for now. It would be his word against mine, anyway. Besides, I heard about the cheating from other friends in our circle. Saying something would implicate them. Then let the other friends be the one to tell her. She's chosen to marry a guy whom she knows is a cheater. You got burned and cut out of her life years ago, so you know her well enough to know if you tell her chances are you will be the bad guy and cut out of her life once again. Also, just because the friends are saying he is, doesn't mean he actually is, unless you see it for your own eyes and have proof, hearsay is not enough to go on. Link to post Share on other sites
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