But I Like Him

[amkxoxo]

So I posted about this a while ago and never really followed up. I wanted to post what has happened since then in more detail. It all started when friend from college introduced me to her two guy friends Dan and John from her high school. The first meeting was nice. The four of us went out to a bar drinking and had a good time. Dan was shy but attractive and funny. John was more talkative and friendly to me. My friend, Mindy, informed me that John had asked her out previously but she was not interested in him and turned him down casually. Well later that night he sort of asked me out too. I denied him nicely and kept things cordial. John was not my type at all.

 

The four of us went out many weeks later and to my surprise Dan came up and hugged me while acting very friendly. He and I hit it off really well and had a great time talking a lot. At one point another friend of ours came and she drank a lot and got really sick. Mindy was so frazzled since this girl was her friend and not ours. Mindy didn't know what to do. Dan and John helped a lot and took control of the situation. I was quite shocked myself since I didn't know her. At one point Dan whispered to me to come to the bar with him to go get the sick girl water. I lead the way and almost got crushed by this other guy practically walking into me. I froze and Dan pushed him off of me. We got to the bar and talked and laughed while waiting for the bartender. The night was ruined because of the sick girl and we all went home to recoup from the ruined fun time. Days later Mindy told me that the whole night John was making bitter jealous comments about Dan and I. John noticed we were hitting it off and that we talked and laughed together. Mindy claimed John even said how Dan and I would make a great couple.

 

The next time we went out the four of us again, Dan and I talked and talked more. We were hitting it off and at one point I think we were talking so long that I noticed Mindy and John standing near us fake laughing and pretending to be us talking. They were making fun of us. At the end of the night I had them back to my apartment. We were laughing and hanging out. Dan and I were again talking and joking. At one point Dan and I separated from Mindy and John and were laughing in the kitchen. We were talking and then I wanted to show him something in my room. I dragged him in my bedroom and showed him something I had bought that was relevant to the conversation. Then we were just standing talking again in my bedroom. We talked for a while and then I finally sat on the floor. I wasn't going to have us sit on my bed, because I knew that gave the wrong idea. He sat across from me and we talked for a long time. I don't know if this friend zoned us, but I am an innocent girl and I wouldn't have minded just kissing him, but felt that I did not want to give off the vibe that I am easy to sleep with. We only talked.

 

Every so often John followed by Mindy would come around the corner in the doorway and John would give us a look. Nothing happened but I started to have a major crush on Dan. He seemed pretty interested too. We talked about life, past relationships briefly, school, he future, goals, family.

 

A day later Mindy told me that while Dan and I were in my bedroom, John was convinced we were doing something more than talking. Mindy said she told John I wasn't that type of girl at all, but he kept coming in to check on us to see what was happening. Mindy said John couldn't believe that all we did was talk.

 

Mindy said John made some comments about Dan and I together. Mindy also told me how John started to like her again and wanted her to come over and hang out with him. He also told her that he was sure Dan would like if I came over too. So John got the impression that Dan was into me. As did I.

 

A few days later Dan starts privately talking to me on Facebook. I got so excited I couldn't contain myself. After a short period of talking back and forth he then suddenly asks me if I can have a new years party at my apartment and have people over because he wants to tell his friends. I then was shattered that the only reason he was talking to me was because he wanted a venue for a party. That hurt. When I eventually told him I couldn't have the party, he stopped talking to me on Facebook abruptly.

 

That hurt my feelings.

 

Then the next time we all went out I thought it would be the four of us again, but when we got there Dan and John were joined by two other guys. Luckily Mindy and I called another girl friend of ours so it wasn't all men. Dan was living it up with the guys and drinking. He barely bothered with me the whole night. I hated it. He acted drunk, obnoxious, and like an immature party boy. I was so surprised. I wasn't a huge fan. He didn't care if I was even there.

 

A few days later a big group of them went out again. I couldn't go because I was working but Mindy went. Mindy told me about the night a day later and she told me at one point Dan ran into this girl whom he knew. She told me that a long time ago they almost got together but it didn't work out. She told me that Dan and the girl chatted very briefly but after she walked away Dan was making comments about how beautiful she was and he always thought she was so pretty. Mindy said it seemed like he liked her. This broke my heart.

 

John decided to have the new years party at his house and I was invited. I was texting Dan before the party about some details. At one point I thought I said something to make him angry and I apologized for hurting his feelings. He then told me I didnt hurt his feelings and he "can't be mad at me."

 

I thought that last part was strange to say. That night was fun. Everyone was drinking and I made new friends. Again, Dan didn't pay me a lot of attention unless I went over and talked to him. I tried to talk to him a lot throughout the night. He was so busy entertaining and talking to his friends. He basked in his friends attention and being the party guy.

 

At one point towards the end of the night some people had left. I was sitting on the couch and Dan was next to me. We weren't even touching. This other girl who is a girlfriend of one of the other guys was sitting on the other side of Dan. She and I were talking. Then Dan sprawled out with his head on my lap and torso and his legs on the other girl. It was strange.

 

Then John and Dan kept teasing each other and being guys, they would wrestle or put each other in headlocks. It was funny. At one point they were wrestling cross the room and all of us were watching and talking. My attention was half on each. I suddenly heard John say something to Dan and then say my name. I whipped my head around full attention and asked what it was about but they were silent. The tone of John's voice sounded to me like he was teasing Dan about me. I wish I could have heard what he said to him.

 

The next day a bunch of us went over Dan's house and played board games. Dan barely bothered with me but was a nice host to everyone. I was bad at some of the games since it was my first time playing but I made it a big joke.

 

A day later I was getting ready for bed and it was just before midnight. Suddenly Dan texted me to come over and drink with John and him. I thought it was weird and too late and I wasn't eager. I told him I was too tired and that he has to tell me earlier next time. He then caught me off guard by saying "Okay tomorrow night, write it down."

 

I was surprised. So I told him maybe. He then texted Mindy and I the next day inviting us over like he told me the night before. Mindy and I went and they had others over too. It was a little party. He barely bothered with me unless I approached him or talked to him because he had all these friends around. Much like New years. I had a great time with their friends and felt very included.

 

I stayed late with everyone even after Mindy left and we laughed and had a good time. I was sad that Dan didn't seem interested. Its so dissapointing to me. Even late when everyone was going to get food I asked who wanted to ride with me and one of the friends said they would. Dan road in the other car even though I had way more room. He is a charismatic guy and loves friends. He is an only child which I think is why he is the way he is with the tons of friends. He has a bunch off friends. I should have seen it as a sign when he face booked me just to ask about my apartment for the party all that time back. That wasn't right and it hurt my feelings. He has never texted me to ask me out or wanted to do anything just with me. Its just weird to me that even John thought he seemed to like me. He loves his friends and he loves showing off how many people like him. I am just another pawn in his game I guess. He butters me up when he needs something from me. It hurts.

[kendahke]

If I was you, I wouldn't hang any hopes on anything with Dan. He doesn't seem capable of anything more than drinking, partying and setting up the next time he drinks and parties.

 

Probably the reason why he hasn't stepped further with you is because John is his boy and he knows that John had feelings for you and he's not going to step there.

 

Might be a good idea to just chalk Dan up to a drinking bud and cast your eye on some other guy who isn't a part of this drinking circle.